Getting away with being weird as a child but not afterwards

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Who here could relate to this situation?

Generally how it happens, around 11 or so the social expectations start and everything goes to hell.

yeah me too. I was fine as a weirdo until middle school. so yeah, 11 was the age actually.

Hello,

I know the feeling, at 11 and 17 I found the social requirements jumped considerably.

As an adult, I'm more childlike now that I was as a teenager as I am trying to find what makes me autistically happy so I can build a more sustainable life. I write about it at spacedoutandsmiling.com if your curious

J&L

Even as a child I didn't get away with it. I was seen as weird by other kids in preschool according to my mother. Even she used to tell me "Don't do this or kids will think you're weird" and even other kids would comment about it.

I think this is why no one suspected I had Asperger's until recently. I was labelled as a shy book worm, which was partially accurate, but I also just plain didn't have much interest in other people and didn't know what to say to them. (I was and am most definitely a book worm though ) Also many things that were considered appropriate for a child but not for an adult have stuck with me and now make more sense as symptoms of ASD and not just me being a child.

When I was a little kid people saw my sometimes odd behavior and anxieties as just part of my being talented and smart for my age. My parents didn't like the "temperamental artist" stereotype but back then they had no other real explanation for it. I was usually happy because I was allowed to be myself. Then I became a teenager where the only things that matter is how much you fit in and what your schoolmates think, not what you think, and overweight girls who are obsessed with drawing cartoons and Garfield comics instead of boys and superficial appearance are not valued.

When I was little I was a pretty outgoing kid, not shy or introverted at all. I had friends, I got along well with most kids except for a few bullies. Although I did prefer to play alone than with groups of children. When I started junior high I was described as being very withdrawn, acted confused and disoriented, had poor peer relations, and seemed to be a world of my own. when I was around 13 I went to a psychiatrist, was diagnosed with schizophrenia form disorder (wrongly), and put on drugs that are no longer being used for good reason. They gave me all kinds of painful, uncomfortable side effects that didn't go away. Only my mother really knows or cares how awful it was for me. That was just the beginning of a very long and painful trip to a certain very hot place and back. School was horrible. I missed a lot of it before finally graduating because just being there made me suffer anxiety attacks and I didn't feel well most of the time. Then I finally made it to high school but left in less than two months because I was bullied so much and my anxiety was so horrible I couldn't take it any more. So much for my dreams of being a successful cartoonist or a children's book writer and illustrator. I'm just a born failure. If I had been diagnosed with Asperger's back then instead of until I was an adult and my whole life was falling apart, things might have been better. Or it might have been worse because I'd be forced even more not to act autistic and even get punished for doing so. I might have been put in a special ed class where everyone else is severely mentally disabled and I'd fit in even less. The school system where I live is still stuck in the 70's so why not? Most people around here have never heard of Asperger's, barely know about autism, and their idea of an autistic person is someone who drools on themselves and can't speak simple sentences or chew and swallow their own food.

Yup - same for me.

A lot people have this issue when becoming adults, not just Aspies.

Societies across the world enforce norms on people, which conflict with many people.

If Society was more open and accepting, I suspect suicides would drop like a brick and people would be happier and healthy.

This problem still dogs me at age 30.

I am fundamentally different at the core and many societal norms are in conflict with who I am.
Yet I am a good responsible person, who helps others and causes no trouble to anyone.
why can't that be enough.

This still irks me at 41. It sucks. It's like once you reach the age 11 and than 17, you're less able to express yourself and do your own thing.

Those are my words exactly and that should start within the family unit.

I never got away with being weird. I was bullied my whole life. I always had trouble making friends. It is harder as an adult because I look young for my age and I sound like a little kid when I talk. I have always been asked why I talk funny. I can't help it is what I say.

Haha don't come to my family unit (Only my parents and first step dad mistreated me).

But seriously I didn't get away with being different as a child, but I have physical things wrong with me.
My grandmother was hell bent on making me normal and pushed it hard.
She still does it now to me, granted I still live with her because I can seemingly get hired due to the nature of economy (not just me).

My teachers and counselors etc.. in elementary school kept on me to make me normal.
It make an already sad situation worse.

Granted I didn't get my Diagnosis until 25 (5 years) ago due to a near complete breakdown that I am still feeling ripples from to this day.

But since I have a leg problem tat makes me walk different and makes me unusually stiff, I stood out.
I also have a neurological problem that impacts my motor skills on top of AS.

At least I was smart and good one right????

I was bullied starting in Grade 1 but I was still generally accepted by peers until I turned 11 and went to Junior High. Things went downhill very fast and hit the low point at 13. Things didn't improve until I got a job at 16. Imagine, coworkers actually treating me with respect!

My family, particularly my cousins have treated me poorly since I was a baby. I remember by brother complaining about how rudely and coldly he was treated at the last family function and I quickly snapped back "now you know what I grew up experiencing daily!"

Same here. My mother was amazingly socially-image conscious. Probably b/c she's on the spectrum too but wasn't allowed to be out about it. So under penalty of shame & spankings I learned to do the same as a child. That held up pretty good through young adulthood, although I was more of an empty shell than a person & the things I did to compensate ('cause eventually you must) just made me odd in different ways. And I was still ostracized & bullied for it. Eventually I fell in love & was married. When we had kids, though, it became clear that they were odd in every way I am, and my spouse. And at that point I decided I had to accept that yes, I am weird. I try to be socially acceptable - I keep my hands where they belong, sing to myself instead of yelp, follow my obsessions with glee...But I'm still wonderfully, creatively, curiously WEIRD. And being weird or different is not something to be ashamed of - it's that shame that people react to more than anything else. My only other choice was to teach my children to be as shamed and repressed as I was.

in elementary school i was in the gifted class and although plenty of kids saw me as different it wasnt complertly out there im mean kids made fun of me but for things like being short and such there were always the other kids who were also quirky or immature but not as much as me so it didnt show as much as i got older those quirky kids matured at a much faster pace than i did. by middle school not only were the kids much more mature many of these kids didnt know me ( middle school drew from larger area) so they werent used to me.

but honestly i dont think appeared "that" weird as a kid at least not at first glance i remember once saying as a kid i dont have problems making friends i have problems keeping them once they got to know me or once there was a so called "better option"

also it probably helped me that i looked (and still do) young so if it was a school activity where everyone knew eachother was the same age and was just the park and i met a kid they would just think i was younger than i really was.

My first job was horrible. My boss and coworkers treated like I was less than. No matter what I did, my boss was never satisfied with my performance. My hours were unpredictable. There were some days I would get to work and my boss would say she didn't need me that day or I would work for an hour or two. The job was hell. My current job is great. Everyone is professional. I never have to wonder about my hours.