Worried about getting diagnosed.

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Hi,

In a few days I've got my assessment to see if I meet the criteria for an Aspergers diagnosis. I'm actually really worried about it, I know I have it, I've always known. I decided to go for a diagnosis because it's actually starting to affect my marriage in a big way. I won't get into it here, but I need the right help to get things right, and I can only do that with a diagnosis.

To be honest if It wasn't for my marriage then I wouldn't bother, like I said I know I have it and so do my family and I get support from them.

I'm worried about the future, and I'm worried about the assessment.

I'm 30 and from the UK.

What are you worried about? Like they will say you don't have it and then you will wonder what is wrong with you and wonder if you are just a jerk?

Well, no because I know I have it. I made my peace with that years ago. I'm worried about not getting a diagnosis though, because if I don't get one then I won't know how to help my marriage.

Right before my diagnosis I was scared to tears that they would not find Autism. Turns out that after the testing was done, I tested much more Autistic than I ever imagined I could have been. Don't worry. They will find something whether it is Autism or not and you will be able to get the help you need.

What kind of things do they do or ask? The letter said they wanted to speak to my parents but my mum is dead and my dad has Alzheimers.

My parents were not available for questioning either. I am also an adult so they did not need my parents input. But one thing that really helped me was that I read the book by Tony Attwood called "The Complete Guide To Asperger's Syndrome." I read it twice and when I read it I took very detailed notes or how everything in the book that applied to me applied to me. I used experiences of everything I could possibly remember from as early in my childhood as I could remember until now. I wrote pages and pages of notes. I gave them to the diagnostician and that was one of the things that they told me was extremely helpful in diagnosing me. But with that they had no need to talk to my parents. If your parents are not available you can just talk about what you remember. That should be fine.

I was given a series a tests that lasted about 8 hours. It was like playing a bunch a games. It was actually kind of fun. There were puzzles and stories and math problems and motor skills problems. It really felt like playing games. I was so worried about the tests but they made me super comfortable and it really was like playing. I was exhausted afterwards but it was really fun.

Very helpful, thank you. But 8 hours! That's going to cause me problems.

My assessment was over a few days. Maybe 6 or 7 hours total. I don't remember exactly, but not more than 3 or 4 hours at once. I wouldn't be able to do 8 hours at once either.

If you can't do it all in one day they should let you break it up. They prefer to do it in one day but often times they give you the option if that won't work for you. I know one person who had it over the time span of a week. But they told me that one of the reasons they like to do it in one day is that it is helpful for them to see how you do with some of the tests when you are tired.

Unlike a lot of people with Aspies I really suck at puzzles. I look too much for an obvious solution rather than breaking everything up, it's mainly because I don't really enjoy them and if I don't enjoy something then I avoid it like the plague. The only way I can do my job is because I work nights and can basically set my own routines.

Why wouldn't you be able to get one though? The only way to not get one is if they say you don't have it.

I've heard stories about people who got misdiagnosed.

So you're worried they are going to say you have something else and not AS?

That does happen. It happens more often than we would like it to especially if you are female. When you seek a diagnosis, spend time researching diagnosticians. Try to find one who specializes in adults and I see that you are male so it might be easier. You might even ask here if you don't mind disclosing your area where you live to see if others can recommend someone to you. But if you find the right person, someone who is thorough and knowledgeable and competent, you should be fine.

Getting formally diagnosed helped my marriage a lot. My wife and I now both have an explanation for why I do/did certain things and work together to work things out when they present a problem.

Also, now that my wife knows what's going on with me, both her and I can tap into resources (online, etc.) to see how we can make things better - rather than just 'winging it'.

So how did your assessment go? This is why I really need to get the right diagnosis.