Anyone else never been clubbing before?

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Joe90
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24 Jul 2016, 3:50 pm

I often feel a sense of shame when other people mention clubbing, that they've been and the experience they had, because I have never been clubbing before.

It's usually something I wouldn't get upset about, since I don't WANT to go clubbing, but for some reason I am still getting upset about it, kind of like an instinctive peer pressure thing that I missed out on. A lot of NTs say they didn't like it much but they still went a few times when they were young. When I was 18 I lived the life of a 13-year-old; just hung out with a bunch of immature ''mates'' on a Saturday afternoon, and otherwise spending every evening at home.

Makes me feel so sad, in a pathetic way. Well, yeah and emotionally too. It feels that every person I have ever spoken to, even if they're 100 years old, have been clubbing when they were teenagers/early 20's.

My little cousin (well, he's 18 now but I remember holding him as a tiny baby) is starting to go clubbing now, and I always thought he wasn't that bothered, as he has always been rather shy and into better things like motorcycles.

The only person in the whole world who hasn't been clubbing before is a friend of mine with Fragile-X. But otherwise, everybody else has. I think 99% of NTs have been clubbing at least once in their lives when they were young, and just a teeny 1% of NTs haven't, but it seems that having things like ASD, Fragile-X and other conditions like that hold you back from having a decent crowd of mates when you're 18 and having a go at going clubbing, just for the experience.
To me, not ever gone clubbing before makes me feel like I've been living under a rock.

Should this matter? Anyone else, preferably NTs on this forum, never been clubbing in your life?


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Spiderpig
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24 Jul 2016, 4:03 pm

Does visiting a club four times in a year, when I was seventeen, then once five years later, and then never again to this day count as “clubbing”? Considering I’ve never had any friends, I only did it when some special event, usually school-related, gave me the chance, and couldn’t really enjoy it. I do feel I’ve always lived under a rock, and it seems far too late to do anything about it now.


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slw1990
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24 Jul 2016, 4:09 pm

I've never been clubbing before either, but I don't think I would like it because it would be too noisy and crowded. Are you worried about being shamed for never going to one?



Last edited by slw1990 on 24 Jul 2016, 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Joe90
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24 Jul 2016, 4:10 pm

I'm not sure if that counts as clubbing. Well, if it does, then that means I HAVE been clubbing before, as I have been to little parties here and there throughout my adult life.

But I suppose by ''clubbing'' I mean at a bar, somewhere rather well-known, in a city, with a group of mates on a Saturday night, dressing up and dancing to today's music nearly all night and drinking, and most probably getting a hangover the next morning.

I haven't ever done that. I have never even been drunk, because I'm a wimp (scared of getting drunk).


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Chichikov
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24 Jul 2016, 4:29 pm

If you want to go clubbing, then go clubbing, even if only the once to see what it's like :) Did it loads when I was younger and I still do it now.



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24 Jul 2016, 4:31 pm

Please define "clubbing". I have "been out" less then 10 times in my life (beeing 22), but never in an actual club. Always went to smaller bars. But i only "participated" once, aka i got drunk alot and started dancing like i was alone there. I should mention that my dancing skills are nonexistent. The closest i have come to "clubbing" could be the night when the people i was with wanted to do "barhopping" but i got stuck on the first one and went home alone. One time i was just sitting in this one bar not knowing what to do there, and it seems like i looked so lost that the female barkeeper came to me three times to gift me a drink, asking if i was ok. That was weird. Most of the times i just either have been sitting somewhere in the corner of the room looking what people did or i got outside and paced there. I never did the thing that they always do in the movies, like dressing up, meeting with alot of people, drinking until they loose there mind and waking up at another ones place...

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ToughDiamond
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24 Jul 2016, 9:33 pm

I'm proud of the fact that I've never been clubbing. 8)



SpaceAgeBushRanger
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25 Jul 2016, 12:54 am

I haven't been clubbing and I don't care at all about it.



SH90
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25 Jul 2016, 1:12 am

I never been to clubs; but to a couple of concerts (probably similar). I typically volunteer to be designated driver and absolutely hated the event… I looked forward to leaving would feel exhausted and nearly sick by the time I get home.



Pieplup
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25 Jul 2016, 1:23 am

Spiderpig wrote:
Does visiting a club four times in a year, when I was seventeen, then once five years later, and then never again to this day count as “clubbing”? Considering I’ve never had any friends, I only did it when some special event, usually school-related, gave me the chance, and couldn’t really enjoy it. I do feel I’ve always lived under a rock, and it seems far too late to do anything about it now.

I doubt that would count. I think clubbing would be more like on a monthly basis or less. I've never heard it refered to as "clubbing" though.


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JakeASD
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25 Jul 2016, 5:36 am

I am 26 and I have never been clubbing, nor do I intend to for that matter.

From what I have read and seen, it would be quite close to my idea of hell.


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25 Jul 2016, 7:06 am

I have never been clubbing either, it doesn't appeal to me at all. Noise, lights, and crowds of drunk people who probably bump into each other a lot. Why do something I know will make me miserable? A couple of times people who don't know me have made comments that I must be missing out, but there are things that I do that they wouldn't enjoy so it works both ways. Sometimes I think people just forget that others are not necessarily exactly like them.



kraftiekortie
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25 Jul 2016, 7:22 am

I went "clubbing" a few times in my early 20's (over 30 years ago).

It just didn't work out for me. I decided to take a different route to enjoyment of life.



clay5
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25 Jul 2016, 8:01 am

Never been to a club, bar or party.



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25 Jul 2016, 8:51 am

I've never gone clubbing and I've never had the slightest interest in doing so. I'm not into dancing at all, I only like loud music when it's my kind of music, and room crammed with people is as comfy as public transportation during rush hour, the latter being something I can tolerate just fine when I have to go from A to B at that time of day, but not something I would willingly spend my spare time on for the "fun" of it.

I have been to bar once when I was 19. It was the last evening I spent with my classmates from a course I took, and that's the only reason I went there. Having to be around and pass drunk people on the way made me feel very vulnerable and unsafe. I hate being around drunks, with their unpredictable and unfunny behavior. It's unlikely that I will ever go to another bar again.

I feel no shame over the fact.


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BeaArthur
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25 Jul 2016, 8:58 am

Went clubbing once, hated it (NOISE), don't need to ever do it again. It's not for everybody.

Please don't feel left out about this issue, Joe90. If it sounds like fun to you, do it. If not, then don't. It's that simple!

It's like, suppose most people you know have gone bungee jumping or parachuting at least once. I know instinctively that I would hate either one. What about you? Would you bungee jump off a bridge just because others are doing it?

"Thrill-seeking" behavior is a personality trait. There's no need to feel you should change your personality.


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