Parent in denial about my autism?

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We discussed it with my dad when I was diagnosed. He also filled out an the GARS autism questionairre for me. I got accommodations in school for autism. And yet last night, he was like, "What? No! You're not autistic!"

Yes, denial is very common. There are even aspies who struggle with denial when first diagnosed.

I got diagnosed almost three years ago. Are some in denial for that long?

My mum's been like this throughout my life, constant "there's nothing wrong with you, why don't you go for a walk and get some fresh air?" She saw me climb into reclusive, anxious and depressive shell for the best part of a decade and that's all she could offer.
It's not her fault but I think she is in denial and doesn't want her children to be ill or different.

It can be vert tough to have parents who are in denial of anything.

I would of been diagnosed as PDD-NOS at the time. I never was though. It turns out my family decided to completely neglect me for their own benefits...

I was diagnosed with AS when I was 13. The only two things I cared about at the time were fitting in at school and coping with the passing of my dad, so when I was diagnosed with AS, I had no idea what my specialist was talking about. My mom believes my dad may have had AS, but she also believes that males who have ASD fake it for their own benefits.

Pretty much everyone on both sides of my family recoginzies my Autism except for my Dad and Uncle. They are stuck in some backwards 60s/70s mind-set where if you dont behave exactly like rainman then you're not Autistic and that my abnormal behavior and experiences are caused solely by life style choices. "Its the video games!". "It's society!" "No, back in my day we didn't have Autism or ADHD, we just gave kids a good belting and that sorted out their behavior!"

/spit

Same happened to me. My aunt, (other) uncle and grandparents noticed I was delayed in speech and wouldn't respond to my name or play with toys appropriately. They even came to my mother and asked her what was wrong with me but of course my useless parents thought it'd be better to put me in a room for years and neglect me.

My dad never acknowledges it either way, which... whatever. My mum always reassures me like she thinks autism is a bad thing, or a thing that I feel bad about. I wish she wouldn't do that, because that's not how I see autism at all, it's just a fact to me. She's in denial though, I think mainly because of how it makes her feel. She refers kids for dx's these days so I guess she feels guilty, and if I ever share how I feel (autistically) she just says in a sad voice 'life must be very difficult for you, if you're like that'. Which just makes me not want to ever share again. I have enough guilt-tripping as it is.

My dad said when I was a little kid, I had a "very bad temper", which I think means I had a lot of meltdowns.

My dad once told me that at the time, my grandfather said he could tell I was different. My dad only mentioned that once, though.

My grandfather may not have been thinking about autism, and he may not have been thinking about a disorder at all. But still, I wonder.

I was born in 1957 so I am quite familiar with that mindset and I can assure your uncle and dad we were around it was just that they did not see us. In the 60's/70's most people knew little or nothing about autism. It was considered a rare childhood affliction and was considered an esoteric topic in the psychiatry world. Rain Man was still in the future (1988). There were other very unflattering lables given officially and unofficially to autistic people. It was "sink or swim" world. If you "failed" and obvoius, autistic or not you were officially a "mental defective" or as commonly known "crazy" and were institutionalized and never heard from again. Dad and Uncle did not see institutionilized autistics in their classes. Otherwise you just muddled through the bullying and not really understanding why. Dad, Uncle and us had no reason to think it was anything but our flaws of character.

FYI In the 60's/70's a lot of parents thought thier "hippie" kids were spoiled brats. They said that long hair is horrible you could not tell who is a boy or who is girl. And they derided that "noise" the kids were listining to (ironically known as "classic rock" today). It was all the fault of the television in every home, and Dr. Spock who wrote very popular child rearing books. When he became a prominent anti war activist it was thought he was a communist agent who had poisoned the younger generation with his "permissive" recommendations. A good beating was needed to knock sense into them it was thought. So you see in some ways the more things change the more they stay the same.

Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 14 Nov 2016, 4:36 am, edited 10 times in total.

Undiagnosed, but kept down in preschool for lack of social skills and motor coordination. Parents deny that I could possibly have ASD, but tell me that there's something wrong with me - I am cold-hearted/emotionless/selfish etc. I wish they'd stop berating my character and help me.

Not accepting the bitter truth is always there. It would take some time to accept it and defence against it.

Dispite all the knowledge as you are seeing from this thread these attitudes are still all to common. I noticed you and another poster in this thread are from Australia. Both Australia and my country America have national traits that emphasize extroversion and rugged individualism. As most clearly seen in our election ultraconfident social people are more valued then quiet intellectual geek/nerd type of people.

In your case I would try and hang in there and try and get into university. Universities often have psychology departments that do assessments for thier students. Parental permission is usually not needed. Australian Wrong Planet members may be able to give better advice then I can.

I wish the best to all in this unfortunate situation.

i guess they must deny because of the fear of society judgment. Autists at least where i live, in the same level of low lifes, being called an autist is an extremely offensive here.