Are you "okay" with having Asperger's?

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A few weeks after my diagnosis someone asked me what it's like to have a mental illness. The question threw me a little because I don't see Asperger's as an illness. It describes everything that is right with me, not wrong with me.

This led me to consider how we define negatives. Did they assume Asperger's was "bad" because it's less common than being neurotypical?

Yes certain sounds can illicit a feeling of terror in the pit of my stomach, but I stopped reacting to that when I was a child, and it comes with the benefit of having ultra sensitive hearing, which to me far outweighs the perceived negative of quelling belly butterflies occasionally.

I have to have a few hours to myself to process everything that was said and intended after social interactions, but more often than not this means I notice things that NTs didn't, even if it takes me an extra day or so to get there.

Sometimes I'll come across as aloof, or stupid, or just weird to people; But those opinions aren't considered. They're judgements about the surface rather than the interior, which means I'm able to ignore their general ignorance instead of reacting as if it were a personal slight.

Of course I feel the bad sides of the condition. But I can remember variations of those feelings right back to when I first came "online" as a sentient being. Many many thousands of times I have felt like I was in a searing, white-hot hell;- but an equal amount of times I've kicked that hell's sorry ass.

TLDR; I am okay with having Asperger's. How about you?

That's a very good question. I'm OK with it - others around me not so much but in an odd way. Let me explain.

I try to explain to people around me what it's like to have Asperger's in the hopes they'll be a bit more open to accommodating my needs. Wrong.... A small minority make accommodation but most seem to push me to "get over my issues" and make my way in life "just like a normal person". Just try harder they say - you can do it.

So, I try to be "normal" including avoiding hanging around here for a while and in the end I feel like absolute crap. Then, I get around to the root of the issue that the problem is really THEM not ME.

There shouldn't be an issue about my being different - I work hard at holding down a job, providing for my family, etc. I just want to be ACCEPTED for who I am.

I'm not okay with having autism. I feel subhuman and wish I were normal. The sensory issues cause me to become irritable and frustrated. People who don't know me well think I'm stupid because I'm aloof. They assume I don't talk because I have no thoughts, and it's hard for me to express my thoughts into words anyway without sounding like a moron. I don't think in words. The good thing about having autism is that I have high visual intelligence. I'm better at noticing and solving patterns,details, and puzzles than most people.

For the most part, I'm okay with having Asperger's. I believe it has helped me get Social Security benefits. I kind of like being a little different. It makes me who I am.

Do I wish I didn't have Asperger's? probably.

Am I happy knowing I have it? Mostly, it makes my life easier knowing why I think and act the way I do instead of just being strange. It does feel good to know there are others like me out there

I'm comfortable with being autistic. It is what it is. I am who I am.

I don't believe I'd be the same person, or anything close, without it. And I love who I am, and love my current life despite its struggles.

Life through my childhood/teenage years was indescribably bad, but I made it out and my autism may have been both a cause and my method of survival in equal measure.

With the benefit of hindsight after almost three decades of life, I would go back and choose to be autistic again.

I'm okay with having Asperger's. Sure, it makes life difficult at times, but like the previous poster said, it's part of who I am.

Eggheadjr: Good answer. I've definitely taken to trying to explain what it's like to NTs, and like you I've had varying degrees of success. I don't feel like I require being accommodated for, though it's nice when it happens; this is an NT's world, after all (even if the best bits were by Aspies shhhhhhh!)


This_Amoeba: Good answer, and I don't intend to diminish how you feel, but I believe you are superhuman, not sub. I wish I could logically reverse your thinking about it, because you deserve to feel ace as a privilege of being ace, not as a simple right that everyone has. I wrote a game for Aspies where you find errors in symmetrical mosaics. Will put it online and share with WP, you may enjoy it?

I'm okay with being introverted and solitary. But I'd prefer not to have such debilitating sensory issues.

If somebody doesn't want to hang out with me because of my "weirdness," I say: It's their loss.

Great responses, I can relate to all of this, for better and worse.

Most of the time: yes.
It helps me keep a rational head when I need to (like crisis situations, I can shut off my emotional side).
My different perspective has been a plus during my PhD.
My 'early warning system' for overstimulation has been improving (trial and error though).
I finally think all of the residual burnout effects are gone (six 1st months were hell - 6 subsequent ones were touch and go).

Obviously: not always - year long burnout.

Nicely done MsV =] All logical and positive.

This is not easy to assess as I have only lived my life. To experience life as a neurotypical may be preferred, but does not necessarily mean life would have been better or easier. To me, a proper comparison would need the experience of the counter argument to weigh pros and cons. Maybe I lack the intelligence/imagination or fortitude to evaluate this question. I am Okay, not knowing what I may or may not have missed.

blackicemenace: Probably just a life way less interesting, sir. I hadn't considered the need for an opposing reference point when I asked the question, yet it was your first consideration. Maybe because I was so late diagnosed I feel I know what it must be like to be NT, having tried for so long to fit that role. Maybe?

Thank you for your response