Do you feel in between in terms of gender?
I don't know what you mean by "in between", but I definitely have a really difficult time grasping the concept of gender and how most people identify really strongly with one of these two ideas (male or female). I mean, I understand gender roles and stereotypes and all that, and I'm fine with however people want to identify themselves. It just doesn't really work when I try to apply the abstract idea of gender to myself.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,760
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
Gender can be a real turn-off for me at times. I don't get why people have to be either male or female. I feel that people should be able to make themselves truly happy and do what they wish, without being forced to toe the line of the Gender Binary. I feel that the idea is for people to feel comfortable with themselves instead of trying to be what people expect them to be. I also feel that people should call people what they wish to be called instead of taking it for granted that everybody likes to be called by their gender. I wear unisex clothing and German helmets because it my gender expression which matches my true gender identity. It sucks to have the feeling that I'm living in the wrong body. Wearing the helmet and unisex clothes helps me to feel that I was born the right gender (male).
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The Family Enigma
I identify as bigender and experience a bit of sexual identity fluidity, if that makes any sense. My gender expression is a terrible mess with clutter abounding, although I feel uncomfortable with many forms of masculinity.
I was born in a body presumed female, and I considered myself solely a femme-ish woman for most of my life. Never felt any itchiness or a need to get out of my skin even through puberty.
About 3 years ago, however, I suddenly got hit with body dysphoria. While the pain and anomalous discomfort in my body was new, the experience of being in a different mindset and having the feeling of 'carrying the self around in the physical world in a different way' was apparently not. Neither was the distinct state of mind and strange perceptual experiences (using my vision to focus on different things, becoming more sensitive to smells or noises, etc).
So now I identify as both non-binary and a woman, even though I am hesitant to claim membership under the trans* umbrella.
I've always wondered whether this was a common feature of spectrum manifestation. Because so many people who identify as nonbinary I know are also on the spectrum. From the few things I read and reflected on, I always thought it had to due to an unstable body image or plan in the mind. Sorta like a fluid, wishy washy blueprint for what features belonged on the body, and how the body was supposed to occupy space.
Because I can't tell you how many times my brain was trying to make use of a body that wasn't in the physical world, and all the confusing signals that went to my ill-aligned actual phsical body.
I feel fine with my own gender. I was a tomboy when I was a kid, I don't wear make up or own many pairs of shoes. I don't keep up with fashion or stay in style. I still consider myself female because that is what I am. I never understood the concept of not feeling your own gender, what does that even mean? And I am not talking about transgender. I didn't know there was such thing as feeling female or male. I thought you just were that.
_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.
Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.
I do not feel gender either. I don't have any body dysphoria and I'm Ok with all parts of it, and Ok with feminine pronouns. Yet it's hard for me to grasp the idea that certain roles or attributes are assigned to me by people solely based on how my body looks. It just doesn't make sense to me. I oscillate between using more stereotypically-female clothing and looking like a tomboy, and when I don't do anything in particular I still look boyish (I have a small frame and an androgynous-looking face, which I guess help). I find the concept of gender (as a social construct) extremely frustrating.
_________________
Really enjoyed being a yellow-throated woodpecker while it lasted.
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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 139 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 67 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
There's 63 recognized genders to choose from now, so most everyone should be covered.
KEY:
Phys = Physical Aspect,
Pers= Personality Aspect,
Pref = Preference Aspect
M = Male, having male reproductive organs/genitalia
F = Female, having female reproductive organs/genitalia
H = Hermaphrodite (Intersexual) having both or neither male and female reproductive organs/genitalia
AS = Asexual / Non-sexual (not shown on this chart)
A = Androgynous, near-equivalent traits of male and female
AM / Andromale = Physically Androgynous w/ Male Genitalia
AF / Androfemale = Physically Androgynous w/ Female Genitalia
HA / Androdite = Physically Androgynous Hermaphrodite
HM / Hermaphromale = Hermaphrodite with Male features / appearance
HF / Hermaphrofemale = Hermaphrodite with Female features / appearance
Masculine = “Typically” Male, as determined by the surrounding culture
Feminine = “Typically” Female, as determined by the surrounding culture
Androgine = Exhibits Androgynous Behavior (near -equally Male and Female), as determined by the surrounding culture
1 M M M Masculine Homosexual Man
2 M M F Masculine Heterosexual Man
3 M M A Masculine Bisexual Man
4 M F M Feminine Homosexual Man
5 M F F Feminine Heterosexual Man
6 M F A Feminine Bisexual Man
7 M A M Androgine Homosexual Man
8 M A F Androgine Heterosexual Man
9 M A A Androgine Bisexual Man
10 F M M Masculine Heterosexual Woman
11 F M F Masculine Homosexual Woman
12 F M A Masculine Bisexual Woman
13 F F M Feminine Heterosexual Woman
14 F F F Feminine Homosexual Woman
15 F F A Feminine Bisexual Woman
16 F A M Androgine Heterosexual Woman
17 F A F Androgine Homosexual Woman
18 F A A Androgine Bisexual Woman
19 AM M M Masculine Homosexual Andromale
20 AF M M Masculine Heterosexual Androfemale
21 HA M M Masculine Male-Attracted Androdite
22 HM M M Masculine Male-Attracted Hermaphromale
23 HF M M Masculine Male-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
24 AM M F Masculine Heterosexual Andromale
25 AF M F Masculine Homosexual Androfemale
26 HA M F Masculine Female-Attracted Androdite
27 HM M F Masculine Female-Attracted Hermaphromale
28 HF M F Masculine Female-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
29 AM M A Masculine Bisexual Andromale
30 AF M F Masculine Bisexual Androfemale
31 HA M F Masculine Bisexual Androdite
32 HM M F Masculine Bisexual Hermaphromale
33 HF M F Masculine Bisexual Hermaphrofemale
34 AM F M Feminine Homosexual Andromale
35 AF F M Feminine Heterosexual Androfemale
36 HA F M Feminine Male-Attracted Androdite
37 HM F M Feminine Male-Attracted Hermaphromale
38 HF F M Feminine Male-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
39 AM F F Feminine Heterosexual Andromale
40 AF F F Feminine Homosexual Androfemale
41 HA F F Feminine Female-Attracted Androdite
42 HM F F Feminine Female-Attracted Hermaphromale
43 HF F F Feminine Female-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
44 AM F A Feminine Bisexual Andromale
45 AF F A Feminine Bisexual Androfemale
46 HA F A Feminine Bisexual Androdite
47 HM F A Feminine Bisexual Hermaphromale
48 HF F A Feminine Bisexual Hermaphrofemale
49 AM A M Androgine Homosexual Andromale
50 AF A M Androgine Heterosexual Androfemale
51 HA A M Androgine Male-Attracted Androdite
52 HM A M Androgine Male-Attracted Hermaphromale
53 HF A M Androgine Male-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
54 AM A F Androgine Heterosexual Andromale
55 AF A F Androgine Homosexual Androfemale
56 HA A F Androgine Female-Attracted Androdite
57 HM A F Androgine Female-Attracted Hermaphromale
58 HF A F Androgine Female-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
59 AM A A Androgine Bisexual Andromale
60 AF A A Androgine Bisexual Androfemale
61 HA A A Androgine Bisexual Androdite
62 HM A A Androgine Bisexual Hermaphromale
63 HF A A Androgine Bisexual Hermaphrofemale
There's 63 recognized genders to choose from now, so most everyone should be covered.
KEY:
Phys = Physical Aspect,
Pers= Personality Aspect,
Pref = Preference Aspect
M = Male, having male reproductive organs/genitalia
F = Female, having female reproductive organs/genitalia
H = Hermaphrodite (Intersexual) having both or neither male and female reproductive organs/genitalia
AS = Asexual / Non-sexual (not shown on this chart)
A = Androgynous, near-equivalent traits of male and female
AM / Andromale = Physically Androgynous w/ Male Genitalia
AF / Androfemale = Physically Androgynous w/ Female Genitalia
HA / Androdite = Physically Androgynous Hermaphrodite
HM / Hermaphromale = Hermaphrodite with Male features / appearance
HF / Hermaphrofemale = Hermaphrodite with Female features / appearance
Masculine = “Typically” Male, as determined by the surrounding culture
Feminine = “Typically” Female, as determined by the surrounding culture
Androgine = Exhibits Androgynous Behavior (near -equally Male and Female), as determined by the surrounding culture
1 M M M Masculine Homosexual Man
2 M M F Masculine Heterosexual Man
3 M M A Masculine Bisexual Man
4 M F M Feminine Homosexual Man
5 M F F Feminine Heterosexual Man
6 M F A Feminine Bisexual Man
7 M A M Androgine Homosexual Man
8 M A F Androgine Heterosexual Man
9 M A A Androgine Bisexual Man
10 F M M Masculine Heterosexual Woman
11 F M F Masculine Homosexual Woman
12 F M A Masculine Bisexual Woman
13 F F M Feminine Heterosexual Woman
14 F F F Feminine Homosexual Woman
15 F F A Feminine Bisexual Woman
16 F A M Androgine Heterosexual Woman
17 F A F Androgine Homosexual Woman
18 F A A Androgine Bisexual Woman
19 AM M M Masculine Homosexual Andromale
20 AF M M Masculine Heterosexual Androfemale
21 HA M M Masculine Male-Attracted Androdite
22 HM M M Masculine Male-Attracted Hermaphromale
23 HF M M Masculine Male-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
24 AM M F Masculine Heterosexual Andromale
25 AF M F Masculine Homosexual Androfemale
26 HA M F Masculine Female-Attracted Androdite
27 HM M F Masculine Female-Attracted Hermaphromale
28 HF M F Masculine Female-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
29 AM M A Masculine Bisexual Andromale
30 AF M F Masculine Bisexual Androfemale
31 HA M F Masculine Bisexual Androdite
32 HM M F Masculine Bisexual Hermaphromale
33 HF M F Masculine Bisexual Hermaphrofemale
34 AM F M Feminine Homosexual Andromale
35 AF F M Feminine Heterosexual Androfemale
36 HA F M Feminine Male-Attracted Androdite
37 HM F M Feminine Male-Attracted Hermaphromale
38 HF F M Feminine Male-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
39 AM F F Feminine Heterosexual Andromale
40 AF F F Feminine Homosexual Androfemale
41 HA F F Feminine Female-Attracted Androdite
42 HM F F Feminine Female-Attracted Hermaphromale
43 HF F F Feminine Female-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
44 AM F A Feminine Bisexual Andromale
45 AF F A Feminine Bisexual Androfemale
46 HA F A Feminine Bisexual Androdite
47 HM F A Feminine Bisexual Hermaphromale
48 HF F A Feminine Bisexual Hermaphrofemale
49 AM A M Androgine Homosexual Andromale
50 AF A M Androgine Heterosexual Androfemale
51 HA A M Androgine Male-Attracted Androdite
52 HM A M Androgine Male-Attracted Hermaphromale
53 HF A M Androgine Male-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
54 AM A F Androgine Heterosexual Andromale
55 AF A F Androgine Homosexual Androfemale
56 HA A F Androgine Female-Attracted Androdite
57 HM A F Androgine Female-Attracted Hermaphromale
58 HF A F Androgine Female-Attracted Hermaphrofemale
59 AM A A Androgine Bisexual Andromale
60 AF A A Androgine Bisexual Androfemale
61 HA A A Androgine Bisexual Androdite
62 HM A A Androgine Bisexual Hermaphromale
63 HF A A Androgine Bisexual Hermaphrofemale
I guess the point for some of us is that we don't feel like choosing. I know that for some people, gender identity is a very strong aspect of their persona (that becomes apparent to me when I see cases of kids identifying like a different gender at very young ages, and more or less fitting the stereotypical representation of that given gender as opposed to the one that was assigned to them at birth). If I have to choose, I'd then simply choose gender-neutral. In a very gendered society, I can see how that's a concept that is hard to grasp. I personally don't place a lot of emphasis on this aspect of myself (reason why I'm perfectly Ok with being addressed with female pronouns, etc.) but if asked or confronted about it, this is just how I feel.
_________________
Really enjoyed being a yellow-throated woodpecker while it lasted.
-
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 139 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 67 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
I feel fine as female. When I was younger, I wanted to be a boy because I thought it would make many parts of my life easier (especially considering that my dad is somewhat sexist). When I realised that wasn't the case, I stopped.
_________________
Life ... that's what leaves the mess. Mad people everywhere.
jrjones9933
Veteran
Joined: 13 May 2011
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,144
Location: The end of the northwest passage
I don't have to adapt to someone else's definition, whether they have two categories or 63. No one gets to tell me how to be me, especially any idiot with rigid oversimplifications.
_________________
"I find that the best way [to increase self-confidence] is to lie to yourself about who you are, what you've done, and where you're going." - Richard Ayoade
I am fine with being female, though at times I have wondered or wished to have male sexual organs. I figured this was a natural curiosity though. My look is somewhat gender neutral, I dress plainly. But I wear more feminine things sometimes, or jewelry and shoes that are more feminine.
For relationships, I feel as though i could be with a man or woman sexually and emotionally. It just depends on the person.
I think men have it easier in this world, so I've been envious of that, but never really wanted to be on their team intellectually or emotionally. I prefer the female perspective.
I don't get how you can feel a certain gender. But if we're going by stereotypical terms, I'm not as masculine as most guys, but I still swing towards the masculine side more than the feminine side. I've always been happy with being born a male. I think that it's biologically harder to be a female and in most cases, socially.
_________________
Just counting down the time til' I can get outta here and the journey begins.
Lillikoi
Veteran
Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 11,797
Location: The Mid-West-East-South.
I'm a female. I have body dysphoria and I like when I dress more masculine, but I don't want to be a male. I just want to be a kind of masculine-looking person.
I also don't mind being called a female, but I think I'm just kind of gender-neutral. Personally, I would be fine with being called anything. I have never really 'felt' like a 'girl.'
If there were anything I could choose to be, it'd be gender-neutral. I just wanna wear Lillikoi clothes and be a Lillikoi.
I also don't mind being called a female, but I think I'm just kind of gender-neutral. Personally, I would be fine with being called anything. I have never really 'felt' like a 'girl.'
If there were anything I could choose to be, it'd be gender-neutral. I just wanna wear Lillikoi clothes and be a Lillikoi.
Aye, this is pretty much how it is for me as well. For whatever reason I generally go towards androgyny than anything else, including my appearance. I'd be fine with looking like a girl, but I'd go against looking "masculine".
Of course the issue is how people sometimes react to this, but.... feh. Dont care. Will do it anyway. I figure, if someone else has a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine.
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