Anyone here hate themeselves?

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I sure do. I fricking hate myself so I would rather help my friend in wheelchair than help myself because I feel like a bad person. I have no self esteem.

It's good that you're helping your friend in the wheelchair.

That fact should increase your self-esteem.

I have been told that focusing on the difficulties of others can help you take your mind off yourself.

To the question, sure I hate myself sometimes, when I become frustrated with myself.

Yeah.. I think i hate my life more than i hate the person i am. I hate the way my brain works and i hate that i cant do the things i want.

I sure do. I fricking hate myself so I would rather help my friend in wheelchair than help myself because I feel like a bad person. I have no self esteem.

yes, i hate myself.

helping someone is good.

helping yourself is also good.

on the other hand, sometimes it is not clear what is "helping". for example, if you do something for someone, that could be "helping", by saving him energy. and it could be enabling by making him dependent on you.

what is a "bad person" is subjective. everyone has good and bad aspects. different strengths and weaknesses. everyone is different at different times. everyone has different values and priorities.

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having said that, quite frankly, i strongly believe that almost everyone i have ever interacted with has confidence out of proportion to competence. almost everyone i have ever interacted with acts morally innocent, perfect, absolutely important, academically smart, wise, cute, funny, and cool.

sometimes though, maybe. ugh.

the thing is, to function in a society with all those high self esteem, self-important, precious little "people" that truly believe they are totally awesome, sometimes it requires "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

b/c the human body is only worth a couple dollars anyways.

likewise, a licensed clinical social worker told me i said i was "worthless" b/c i do not have a job. (yes, i said both statements, but they are not necessarily cause/effect.) (but whatever. she, too, has/had a big ego.)

and then she asked if anyone was important to me.

answered yes, my precious lil "dad".

but that does not make sense.

if someone one child, then at least one person finds someone "important."

if someone gives birth to another child, then two people find someone "important".

but someone's importance has not risen, just b/c someone now has more children.

but that is not really the point.

that is just one way to think about it.

the point, though is

that, in the United States, plenty of politically liberal, overeducated, upper middle class parents treat their children in the Doctor Spock method. they act like their kids are Special Snowflakes that are entitled to get, do, and become anything they want, whenever they want. (rolls eyes).

and those kids are (usually) cisgender, neurotypical and other forms of ( ). (fine). normal. for the most part.

and they see a lot of other kids/precious lil "people" that have big egos, that look, act, and think just like them.

so they reciprocate the way that they overvalue themselves, by overvaluing eachother.

and freaks. wierdos. strange. people like me. (yes, i am a person.)

they treat like i am morally inferior to them.

and they get away with it

b/c they outnumber, overpower, and outsmart me.



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I'm more apathetic towards myself than hatey.

I love myself and I'm happy to be alive.

I don't hate myself. But it is usually around the time that I start getting depressed that I hate my life and get really down on my self (they seem to go hand in hand ) but never self hate.

IMO, help that allows one to become more independent is the greatest help of all.



it appears that someone is "bad" when his actions or interests are a threat to those of the people who are around him at any given place or time.

or, he murders.

IMO, help that allows one to become more independent is the greatest help of all.

okay. fine. in the book "toxic charity", it claims that when helping someone makes someone more dependent, it is worse than not intervening altogether.

but of course, what is the "greatest help" is subjective. it is also not clear if something is helpful or hurtful. long term consequences sometimes differ from immediate ones.


what is a "bad person" is subjective. everyone has good and bad aspects. different strengths and weaknesses. everyone is different at different times. everyone has different values and priorities.


it appears that someone is "bad" when his actions or interests are a threat to those of the people who are around him at any given place or time.

yes, "it appears that". okay. when i started presenting as trans in 2004, when i got Gender Therapy, some extremely smart and (seemingly) nice precious lil "people" had the nerve to tell me it was "lying" for me to ask them to call me "he" instead of "she". just b/c there were a lot more homophobic bigots than out LGBT, and the homophobes treated me like i was "bad", does not follow that i was "bad."


or, he murders.

murder first degree, murder second degree, manslaughter, or just negligence?

extermination

infantry get orders to kill someone. if they disobey a lawful order plenty of things could happen.

someone has to operate the electric chair (capital punishment).

some vegans claim that eating chicken, pig, cow, or other nonhuman animals, is the moral equivalent to killing people.

so even what is killing is subjective.

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having said that, what if someone does kill someone, then what? does that automatically make them a "bad person", thus immediately and completely eliminating all the good things they have thought, said, and done, their entire lives?

Werner Forssmann, nazi doctor



nobody is completely good or bad. not even murderers.

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almost everyone i have ever interacted with acts like they are completely good. (dichotomous thinking). and that everyone and everything is completely good or completely bad. and they are entitled to judge. and their judgments are important.

they make me wanna puke.

they downplay, minimize, ignore, and deny they ever did anything wrong.

and then they treat me like the enemy.

have never read or heard of that book, but the topic is familiar to me. no doubt that there are some people who try to "help" others merely out of selfish desire, but i hesitate to assume they are the majority. surely, when one tries to establish the ability to be self sufficient in others, other items arise that alone can requite assistance.

so sometimes it can be a matter of weighing what is worth it, and what isn't. it is not always 100% one way or the other, yes. long term and short term consequences are different and they can sometimes even be opposites, but if the situation is dire enough i would not allow that to prevent me from doing something.



"bad" is a very overly loose concept that i don't like to apply to people, IMO it is better suited for properties of objects where the subjectivity is much less. ie: "that car's wheel has really bad camber" (it is a safety risk), or "this room smells really bad" (if the room reeks of decaying bodies, something human brains are hardwired to be revolted towards).

it's certainly not fitting for food.....as i have found.

there are no "bad people", only threats to certain interests of certain groups at certain times. that may be what is meant by "bad" in some cases.



i'm sorry you had to go through that....you certainly were/are not "bad" for having lived in that way. but as i said before, maybe they saw you as a threat to their beliefs?



first degree.

a difference may be made between "murder" and "kill", the former implying aggravated removal of another life with intent to do so, the latter not making any difference between accidental or deliberate causation of death. but this is certainly not concrete and is my own interpretation of a dynamic (blended) semantic split. english is full of such words, arguments and misleadings can happen.

those vegans you mention are right only if one sees it with an economical eye: if you buy meat, you give your money to those who provide it and give financial incentive for them to keep doing so. maybe that is true even it you don't buy meat but merely accept it.

if whether you made an action or not doesn't affect an end result, i don't think you can be blamed for that result. but then, how can you know in advance whether your decision will matter?



true. if someone kills someone else, then IMO those around the killer are totally justified in being suspicious and afraid around him. if there was intent/not accidental, there is reasonable suspicion in most cases that he will do it again.

i believe his former "good" deeds and actions are still valid, but i would wonder if he were doing it out of genuine concern and interest in what he does, or if it is a mere attempt to patch up his reputation....

I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am. I focus too much on what other people (mostly my peers) are doing, and I feel that they are doing much better than me, even if they're not. But I don't know how to stop myself thinking this way. It sometimes gets to me so much, that I find it hard to concentrate on my own life.

I often feel stupid. I probably look stupid a lot of the time, especially when I get object-blindness. People get angry with me when this happens. They yell "it's right THERE in front of your nose!" Ugh! What an idiot I feel. When it happens to others (which it does occasionally), I be patient and just calmly point them to it then laugh it off.

yes.

I certainly hate parts of myself.

I hate that I lack intellect. I hate that I do not relate well to others. I hate that I have a short attention span. I hate that I lack an imagination. I hate that I need things to be repeated all the time because my working memory is poor. I hate that my interests are so singular. I hate that I frequently 'zone out', even when I am relaxed.

Conversely, I do believe that I am rather soft, generous, honest and polite, which can all make me quite easy to get on with. Thus there are aspects of myself that I like.

It is just unfortunate that the bad far outweighs the good.

Not as much as I used to but sometimes yes, quite a lot.

I hate myself too and I've just become a completely bitter miserable person as a result.

You're saying you would rather help your friend in a wheelchair than help yourself, but that's not a bad thing at all. It shows you're not selfish (though I understand you say you feel bad about yourself). It's a self-less act and a good quality to have, just make sure to watch when people start stepping over you to take advantage of you.

I personally can't bring myself to be nice/help anymore. Unless I'm being watched or something, I would just ignore the person in need of help. I've been having a horrible mindset lately where I wonder why anyone else should get help when I'm also here and miserable as ever. I need to get over this.