what are your Social skills deficits?

Post Reply New Topic

mine
standing to close to somewon
starting, continuing and ending conversations
reading social cues
reading facial expressions
no filter
reading body language
making friends
keeping friends
reading peoples thoughts
flat affect facial expression
and monotone voice
literal thinking

Total inability to do small talk
Talking too loud
Saying inappropriate things and it comes across in a way I didn't intend
Not reading expressions... I think people are looking at me in a funny way
Taking things too literally
Worrying and over-analysing what I've said

I know a lot of this looks like I've copied it out of an Aspies' handbook, but that's the way it is.

So... nowadays I just tend to keep my mouth shut and leave it up to Mrs Trueno to do the chat.

Social anxiety that causes: wierd movements or lack thereof from trying to cover up the anxiety, wierd self-conscious voice, wierd expression caused by trying to hide an anxious expression.

Not a lot any more though; I got therapy, hehe.

No sense of norm.
Tone and volume voice control -- either it's too extreme of high and low pitch or too monotonous.
Misleading body language/expressions -- I go either exaggerated or flat out... Flat.
Misspoken/Mishearing speech.
No subtile reading/literal mindedness.
No filters/irrelevant interferences.
Overall social cluelessness/'bad etiquette'/etc...
One sided relationships. (They want to, I don't.)

From where I live, I could get away with half of these things. I'm 'active but odd' type.
And the kind of social skills I sought had little or nothing to do with "good manners and right conduct".

Gained Number Post Count (1).
Lose Time (n).

Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

-Maintaining conversations I'm not interested in.

-changing subject or refusal to.

-butting in when something of interest is mentioned.

-starting conversations and small talk.

-greeting and replying to others in a socially acceptable way...I've been criticized and attacked by complete strangers for how I've worded things or my tone even though I tried my best and thought I did good. This has caused me approach anxiety.

-eye contact. Too little or too much.

-leaving groups or refusal to participate in them.

-communicating my thoughts into words that make sense to others. I'm either confusingly over descriptive or vague.

-social energy. I run out of energy easily when socializing.

Withdrawn, stimmy and nonverbal.

-Inconsistent eye-contact, which makes me seem "distracted" according to observers

-No filter ("Where do you live?" "Over there. Our neighbors do drugs.")

-Queer word-choice or sentence structure, which I expect others to understand ("The hordes approach" = "people are coming out of church now")

-Distractibility

-Over-analyzing responses, resulting in awkward lulls in rote conversation

Being too shy/not knowing what to say to people

Not showing enough interest in other people

Being childlike (not childish)

Feeling too awkward and self-conscious

Difficulty speaking up and being heard in groups

Not knowing how to respond to jokes, besides a forced laugh (but I know when someone is joking)

Attention difficulties (due to ADHD)

Talking too quietly or mumbling


However, I don't really have any social deficits around close family, close friends and my boyfriend.

too blunt

lack of self awareness

cant really connect with other people

dont care for friendships

aloof and sometimes angry

dont understand when someones joking with me

difficulty reading nonverbal social cues

Having a hard time with small talk. I don't usually watch the movies or television shows other people watch, so I have very little idea about them. What I have heard seems overwhelmingly negative, so I avoid the popular shows and movies of the week.

Overfocused interests. This was worse years ago when I didn't do as much as I'm doing now. I think I have vastly improved in this area.

Not being able to "read minds." I want to do the right thing but when people are overly specific, I'm doomed to failure.

Being too negative. Complaining too much. Being too nervous and too stressed. Talking about my anxiety too much. Stressing others. Answering with facts when such an answer was not expected or desired. Not remembering names.

I often get the feeling I only get along with people that share some of my interests, like music or literature or computer stuff (actually, I'm interested in a lot more things...). When there's a connection, people often start to like me and are interested in me. Otherwise, it's really difficult, because people are bored. I wouldn't even call them special interests, there are really many things I am interested in. I'm just not able to talk about the weather. I have no idea what people talk about if they are not interested in good movies, literature, music, arts, psychology, computer science, physics, history...

Of course there is always something I have in common with someone...but it's not always that interesting. So, you have been to Barcelona, too? Great. I will ask you if you liked it there and what you did there, but somehow it's boring for both of us. So you played the flute when you were little? Many children did, it's not an interesting conversation topic. So you like shopping? I don't.

I still can not fake being interested in social interaction.

Following someone's directions can go badly depending on how they do it.

If someone is going to give me a list of things to do, just give me a written checklist.

Have a hard time with small talk because I don't share most people's polite interests. I know better than to talk about mine, but I can't make myself watch TV or sports enough to be able to keep the conversation going.

I tend to tell the truth instead of giving polite answers. I guess because I'm looking for relationships with people I don't have to lie to.

Trouble with volume control-- too loud or too quiet.

I don't have the right expression on my face-- it usually reflects what I actually feel, which is either hopelessness or terror entirely too often.

Anxiety leading to awkward responses and times of responses

Lack of eye contact

Cannot do small talk