Is osmosis the best ally with Aspergers?

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Hello,

More often than not, osmosis might very well be the best experiences regarding Aspergers; especially if quality people are a part of one's life experiences early on!

Overthinking/overcompensation might actually draw energies away from immersion in important life examples (for lack of better words).

Relating Aspergers to a "stranger in your own land" applies. Consider neurotypicals (NTs) from westernized countries who visit (non-westernized) countries for extended stays e.g., work, school, etc.

NT visitors first learn enough of the local language "to get by," and also learn local customs. Outside of the periodic advice from a local guide, and both routine work, and recreational related interactions, much of the rest of cultural immersion would largely come through osmosis.

If only we can have guides "of sorts" in our own land!

I thought that was our whole problem to begin with. We don't absorb the info we need to adapt socially, we miss the signs NTs pick up and we have to be told directly.

I certainly didn't learn skills through osmosis. It was mostly through making mistakes and being corrected or realising that what I did had not so good consequences.

I don't have much faith in it myself, though I don't doubt it's possible to learn some things in that way, and I'm sure I have done. But a lot of the time, being around people who know more than I do about a subject just makes me feel isolated and irritated. For better results they'd need to explain things to me, on my own terms, in a clear way. Anybody wanting me to learn stuff quickly wouldn't make much headway just by exposing me to folks who understand it.

My father taught me my letters and numbers when I was 4 years old, before I started school, and he did a good job. He treated it as a game, and I enjoyed it. Central to his success was his patience, flexibility and tolerance. I was way ahead of the rest of the class from the start.

I sometimes think that student-centred learning might work quite well on me. Roughly, the student chooses what they want to know about, and the teachers' only role is to be there to answer the student's questions and provide them with whatever materials they ask for. The beauty of it is, I wouldn't have to force myself to take an interest in what they decided I should learn......that's one part of conventional education I didn't fare well with, it kind of worked but the older I got, the more tedious and uncomfortable it became.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Student-centred_learning

As hurtloam points out, osmosis is one of our problems, hence how do we use it when it's not even really in our tool kit?

Pretty much everything I learned was the way to do or say things, I know I actively studied rather than took on naturally. I actually read books on human behavior, body language, psychology, and observed people in order to try to replicate what they were doing.

There isn't a lot of osmosis going on, on the spectrum. . .

Hmmm........one of the things I "learned" that might be called osmotic was years ago when I was at a social gathering. There was a guy talking to a couple of other people. I walked up to them, expecting that as usual I'd get ignored and feel excluded. But as soon as I approached, instead of just looking at those two in turn, he looked at me as well, and I felt included. I was quite impressed, and if I ever get used to doing the eye contact thing, I hope I'll remember to try to emulate him. To my mind he was the kind of NT that's worth copying......so many folks just don't bother to be so sensitive and inclusive. As usual with me, I'm useless at most things for a very long time, but eventually when I do get there, I get the skill to an uncommonly high standard.

I don't know if that qualifies as a good bit of osmotic learning of the social kind or not, especially as so far I've only sussed the theoretical part of the thing. But it strikes me that it's possible to learn a lot of social tips simply by observing likeable people. I think it can also work quite well with music - being around good players doesn't teach me much about the technical aspects of music, but I think I've learned a lot about style.

I learn best by doing something. After that, by visual, though that's less effective.

Learn by reading or listening? Forget it.

I mean learning on how to do something, not just learning in general. I read news, and I learn about what's happening in the world, for example.

I'm a technology person, so learning about an application has always been a huge chore. I can learn by doing, but I may not learn the preferred method or it may take me longer. Sadly as I've gotten older, that's gotten worse but that is true of most things.

To clarify, those situations/wisdom laden with subtleties, nuances are the toughest to learn/understand. Applying what is learned to actions can also present difficulties.

Osmosis (again from my own personal experiences) is usually a good thing for those common, straightforward environments!

It sounds like you may be able to pick up non verbal clues if you just trust your instincts. But, if you try to think about it, you get confused.

An analogy might be someone who can't read, because they get double vision when they attempt to focus on writing. But, if they casually look at, they may be able to understand much of what is written. This may mean nothing to someone whose eyes have has no sensitivity to light. They might think that bright lights are warm and can't figure how one can read something based on that warmth.

In my personal experience, one major problem relates not only to osmosis concerning the learning of social skills, but to something I'd like to refer to as 'experiential osmosis'. What I mean by this is, that NTs tend to gain secondary experience vicariously by spending time with the people from their social circles; let's say a certain individual never got their driver's license, or has never been married, or never went to university, they'll at least know something about the experience on a somewhat deeper level, by their friends or relatives sharing with and confiding in them. It adds something which is not attained by simply reading about such experiences. I have no close social circle, and I find that whenever I converse with other people, I'm ignorant about a lot of mundane things that are taken for granted by the other party, yet which I probably would have a bit of a deeper understanding about if I socialized with others on a regular basis. This is 'experiential osmosis'.

I should agree with hurtloam and BirdInFlight that we most of us lack the tools for properly acquiring the skills other people get through osmosis; in my attempts in earlier stages of my life, I've even stumbled upon rejection from my age peers, thereby setting an even higher barrier.

ADDENDUM: Critical thinking skills (more or less with osmosis) can also be an advantage with Aspergers.

Bumping up thread.

Observing/learning through osmosis plays a major part in understanding enough "to get by!"

Even with opportunities to participate in social situations diminished on account of a pandemic, I sense important experiences will be remembered after pandemic is brought under control.

^ why do you have 2 accounts?