Attention hogs

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Some people get all the attention and all the awards. When I was in school, the same few people got most of the awards and attention. There are the people that hog up the pastor's attention at church. There are the people that hog up the boss's attention at work.

I get tired of being invisible everywhere I go. I can sit at a table full of people and nobody will notice that I left the table. Hell, nobody notices me sitting down at the table to begin with. My extended family doesn't even acknowledge my existence on Facebook or in real life.

What are your experiences with feeling invisible? What are your experiences with attention hogs?

I know it's probably not what you want to hear but I've always gotten attention and I hate it. I was always the most talented and the like.
Obviously that has died down but it still happens. You want what you can't have I guess.

Interesting - it seems everyone has a different perspective on this issue.

I prefer invisibility, and feel uncomfortable when attention is on me. In a weird way I guess I'm grateful for people who are more noticeable than me, so I'm not the one that's standing out like a sore thumb.

People always think I want attention. Too bad I don't. I'd trade all the attention I get on social media for 2 friends.

Last edited by Buc on 29 Dec 2017, 8:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Facebook friends or RL friends?

People tend to focus on those in the spotlight and dismiss everyone else like them who aren't in it.

Being invisible can be good sometimes. I have overheard many conversations and gotten important information that way. It makes it easier to leave the room if no one notices.

Sometimes it would be nice to have my accomplishments acknowledged once in awhile. It would be nice if people could get to know me. It would be nice if my grandparents' world didn't always revolve around my aunt.

^ That is tough, when it's family, as opposed to a social situation. I often feel that way with my family - that other people's interests are worth talking about, but mine are stupid and dorky and I just have to keep quiet.

I was thinking more of a public setting, in which case I want to be as invisible as possible!

I don't mind being invisible around people I don't like because it gets me off the hook from having to interact with them.

I suppose I know the feeling... maybe. I don't like it when the attention of many people are on me (minus the times I'm keeping a lecture on a subject I know and the people who are present are there because they are interested in the subject I have chosen. Even then I tend to get a bit of a stage fever though), but I don't like being completely invisible, either. For example if I bother to take the time out of my day to visit a relative (a meeting we've agreed on beforehand, not just me showing up behind their door), I'd like them to pay me a bit more attention during my visit than saying "Welcome! How are you?" and "It was nice to see you again." Those are the basics I tend to hear if I go somewhere with my family or if there are other guests, too. It doesn't really work when I try to get in to other people's conversations, either. Even worse than that is when people come over to my place and just do stuff with their phone/only talk to each other... why did they come here if they didn't want to talk with me? For a free snack?

I doubt Elaine wants to be the center of attention but a lot of us ASD people are exceptionally talented in our areas and would like to be recognized for it.

^ Absolutely! Sorry if my own aversion to 'standing out' came across as meaning others don't deserve recognition.

In the professional world, it seems success often requires being good at marketing yourself, and getting out there and doing promotional activities, which can be overwhelming and exhausting for people with ASD.

Sometimes it comes down to a popularity contest, in which we tend to lose out.

I get tired of the basic " Hi How are you" stuff too. I have to hear all about your life all the time. Why not take an interest in my life? It is hard as hell to join conversations. It just feels awkward. People wonder why I'm quiet all the time. If you would give me a chance and include me, then maybe I would talk more.

I get tired of everything being a popularity contest. That's high school behavior. It seems like the most popular people are the most obnoxious and self absorbed people around.

Hearing about other people's lives all the time without them showing interest in yours is why I don't bother with socializing.

I think that, in society's eyes, it's accebtable to want to be popular and act like you're in a populary contest even after teenage years as long as it's done subtly enough. Where the line between "subtle enough" and "not subtle enough" goes I have no idea.