i stole alcohol from my dad

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i stole 5 cans of my dads beer yesterday because i was feeling depressed and wanted to have a drink, although 5 cans wasn't enough to make me really feel better but it gave me a buzz and it made me feel worse today. Also my dad is going to tell me my punishment for doing it later today

I'm not so worried about whatever punishment i'll get , i did steal it so i can't really moan about being punished. I'm more concerned because there have been a few times lately when i've been drinking alcohol (this is the first time i stole from my dad though) and i have been drinking about 5-6 cans at a time just to feel better. i am worried i might start to be a bit addicted to it, i don't want that to happen because i have enough issues already without adding alcohol to them too. Should i talk to someone? i don't know if its really a big problem yet as i've only done it a few times, i just don't want it to become a problem later.

I think you should look into alcohol counseling, to be honest.

Thanks for writing here.

I’m glad you have insight into your situation.

You seem like a sensible and smart person with lots of potential.

Counselor

Support group

As the OP is school age, the best options might be:

Talk to the guidance counsellor at school if there is one
Talk to a teacher you trust if there is one
Talk to anyone in your family (including extended family) who has a history of being kind/helpful/wise toward you

If there are none of the above, then google to find either a Childline or Youthline contact service (depending on what age you are) to discuss issues privately by phone or text.

Of these options, start with the one which is easiest for you.

As a teenager, I used to steal whiskey from my parents. And mind you, it's a lot harder for teenagers to get alcohol in the US than in the UK. I'd take big swigs from their bottle, and replace it with water. I did it because I was suicidally depressed, and the alcohol was my only source of joy in my life. Not "churchy" joy, real joy. I can safely that it kept me from taking my own life. I was seeing a therapist at the time, but she always made my depression worse by mocking me or retraumatizing me.

But even I would be concerned at this point, because 6 cans of beer is A LOT. (The amount I drank in whiskey is equivalent to 1 can of beer or less.) I will NOT tell you to seek counseling, because other people did it before me, and a counselor will side with your parents, not you. What I will tell you is to see a doctor, preferably a psychiatrist. You said you were feeling depressed, so maybe some medication for that is in order. While you can't get the good stuff like Effexor at your age---it's rarely prescribed to people under 25, and never to anyone under 18---you can get Prozac (fluoxetine) for sure, because it's approved for people 12 and older. It will elevate your mood just enough to keep you from feeling the urge to drink.

A lot of people with ASD tend to "self medicate" with substances, as it stops us struggling so much socially. Obviously it doesn't make us any more socially knowledgeable but it does help to neutralise the anxiety caused by social situations. I also drank way too much as an 18-19 year old but I realised that it was unsustainable due to the harm alcohol does to your body.

You're 16, you're still a child. You need to talk to your dad/parents and a mental health professional. If you have an ASD diagnosis perhaps go back to the professional(s) who diagnosed you. You may benefit from an actual medication, or you may just need to learn some coping techniques but these are all things a mental health professional will talk to you about.

Don't carry on down the alcohol path (or any other substance) because it wont end well for you or the people who care about you.

I REALLY don't recommend talking to his parents. Parents in general almost always overreact, because they "care" (notice the quotes), but by "caring", they make things worse for their child. I say the OP should go directly to a doctor. In some US states, teens over a certain age are allowed to see a doctor without their parents' consent, for obvious reasons. (I don't know the UK laws on that.) So, the OP will be able to get his depression treated without his dad/parents knowing about it, for the most part. It's only the Prozac prescription that will require an adult's consent.

As for alcohol, it's a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can indeed be dangerous. On the other hand, if it weren't for that whiskey, it'd be Ghost of Aspie1, and not me, writing this.

Maybe see a counselor through your school?

Absolutely not!

School counselors are school's flying monkeys. Their job is keep the school free of "problems" (read: the OP), rather than make life better for individual students. So a school counselor will make OP's life more difficult, to make him regret being depressed and thus "snap out of it", so that the school can say "we don't have any depressed students".

OP, is there a free clinic where you can go without his family knowing about it, to get depression treatment? That's the only option I'd recommend. If that's impossible, then an outside counselor, as a dead-last resort. But certainly nobody working for your school; they are NOT your friends.

How can you possibly know what their school is like?

He should be starting alcohol treatment through any means necessary.

I know there are adolescent walk-in places in the US where parents don’t have to be consulted.

I don’t know about the UK.

It would be great if he started this very soon.

He’s still very young.

Paradoxically, it’s possible that all this might actually be good for him.

Maybe this prevents this sort of problem commencing during University.

Yes, I believe that you should seek out some help.

My alcohol problems started in a very similar way, and once I got hooked, it took me years to get under control. It gets very much harder to feel that "buzz" once you start building up a tolerance, and the main other effect of alcohol is that it acts as a depressant. As the amount that you drink increases, the amount of negative feelings you get from the depressant effect increases, especially during the sobering up after a binge. The short spells of relief you feel from depression while you're drunk can allow much worse long-term depression to build up - effectively you're adding yet another cause of depression to whatever ones you already experience, and in the mean-time, the other causes of depression aren't getting dealt with.

So, I think it's not just help to stop drinking that you need; you may also need help with whatever is causing the depression that you're trying to self-medicate.

It depends on what kind of parents he has.

Aspie1 is describing a situation that is all too common. Telling my parents about my problems resulted in a disaster of unbelievable horror for me. I would guess from the passion in his post, he has had similar experiences.

At 16, parents and school are not at all necessarily your friends. They are more concerned with you toeing the line.

I would suggest you try to find an AA meeting. They will be warm and accepting.

AA has a hidden caveat: it's as Christian as it gets without mentioning Jesus by name. One of its core tenets is "reaching out to a higher power". It doesn't take a genius to figure out they're talking about praying to god. (Yahweh/Jesus, to be exact) If the OP isn't a devout Christian, such philosophy in AA will make him very uncomfortable. Not to mention, they're extremely preachy in how they want their followers going though the 12 steps.

If were the OP stuck in AA, I'd probably fake the whole thing: wear a cross, get a temporary "John 3:14" tattoo, quote the Bible left and right, talk about seeing god while hiking through the woods, etc. All while drinking cooking wine from the Italian food aisle at night in my room. Just like I faked many social interactions in my youth.

I'm sure there are other alcoholism recovery support groups, that don't incorporate elements of Christianity and aren't as preachy, but I don't know any of them. I really feel that alcohol had its rightful place in my teenage life.

Last edited by Aspie1 on 26 Oct 2019, 5:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

^ Yes, I have to agree. I attended AA a couple of times when I was trying to dry myself out. I didn't find it so much Christian specifically (maybe it's a little different here in the UK), but was very much like a cult in many respects.