I'm no longer proud to have Asperger Syndrome.

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I going honest to with everyone,I'm no longer proud to have Asperger Syndrome.There was a time,even as soon as a couple months ago,I used to feel proud to be on the Autism Spectrum,but now thinking about it,I don't have really any strengths that comes with Asperger Syndrome,but have many negatives. Aspergers has denied me of friendships over the years.Women are not even willing to talk with me,let alone be friends with me,let alone date me,which is why I'm probably going to be single forever. I suffer from anxiety. I only have average intelligence. Over the last couple of years,I been dealing with on and off depression. No one really likes me except for my parents. I even feel disliked within the Asperger/Autistic community. I feel bit upset right now.Does anyone else feel the same way?

Being proud of something that is a part of us is tricky. I might as well be proud of my five o'clock shadow. Nope.

If you would rejoice in something about yourself, rejoice in doing good things. It will catch on. As far as being disliked here, I haven't seen that. But I think you're cool.

Anyway, depression is a beast but it is defeatable. At least your parents have your back. Sometimes I have a hard time telling what my family thinks; it's tough like that...good intentions can be tricky to read sometimes.

I do believe you have some strength of some sort; you just won't find it somewhere. I can take an Edison phonograph motor apart & rebuild it in anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours...this is if it has sat for 110 years without an oil change. That's not a strength you will find listed anywhere but it helps me fix my phonographs & enjoy some old music. You probably are good at something, I am sure of it.

Isn't phonographs more like a thing from the earlier parts of the 20th Century? Now I do remember people telling be that I'm good when it comes to technology/computers,but I think it's just a product of my Generation being the first Generation to be truly tech savvy. Also, people used to think I'm good at Photography,but I'm not sure if they were being sincere.

One of the reasons why I feel disliked within the Asperger/Autistic community dislike because I have seen people on this Website said that I was a troll,that I'm full of sh*t,etc,not realizing that I was simply very frustrated.I felt unwelcome,so I just stopped posting for over a year.I will say I also made my own mistakes as well.My approach when to comes talking my issues related to Asperger Syndrome could've been so much better.I also did went to a support Group for people on the Autism Spectrum a couple of times,but it seem like people weren't interested in talking with me,so I stopped going.

--Well, I didn't see anyone attacking you on this website.

Regarding computers this generation might be the first to be tech-savvy but I am quite sure after watching people struggle with computers every day that we Aspies hold a definite edge in the game of bits and bytes. Most people think a RAM is a Dodge truck or a sheep and that Google is the name of the internet.

Regarding photography, if you can do it decently enough you will probably do better than 75% of amateur shutterbugs. Seriously.

I mentioned phonographs--yes, they're old; mine are old enough to require no electricity. They must be cranked to start and still manage to sound quite good after a tuneup. (Phonographs are one of my special interest areas. I have always liked them but there is a difference between liking something and collecting a bunch of them.)

That's a useless special interest, phonographs are. Literally no one needs them in 2020. But it's still something I am good at.

See? You're good at something too--I want to know more. Windows, Mac, Linux?

I have never been proud of Aspergers. Just after the diagnosis I tried to think about it positively but now it just gives me convenient explanation for my shortcomings and something to blame for my failures. As for feeling disliked - I just feel utterly invisible. I have some problem with communication that I just can't figure out. Most of the time I am unable to elicit any form of response from people.

I've never been proud of having Asperger's either. It's caused nothing but problems in my life. It's probably why my mother is ill now, from all the stress I brought her in the past, all because I have Asperger's. I should be charged with manslaughter.

Maybe theres a clue to part of your problem in your thread title.

"I'm no longer proud to have Aspergers syndrome"

Why would you be proud to have a medical disorder?

Replace "aspergers" with "depression" or "bi polar" and you see the problem.

Sadly this what comes with the whole empty ND identity obssssion, it leads to nothing as ASD is a disorder and everyone else (the 99% of the pop without it understands that)

Try doing something you can be proud of like helping people, fixing things or working for charity etc...

Being proud of simply being alive is meaningless, as the other 7 billion people saying the same thing.

I've never been formally diagnosed, and am not proud to have something that limited my potential. I am more fortunate than most, but always feeling that I'm just short of okay, always falling short of the mark, is nothing to be proud of.

Rick42, there is a natural talent which is things you are good at but the thing is, the media puts it out there that all people on the spectrum are born savants who are math nerds. However, there is a thing called neurodiversity where one autie is different from another. So you didn't get the math gene or some of the other gifts that the media talked about, big deal. There are lots of people on the spectrum who are also good at the arts. Theater, art

You can also develop talents based on things that you are interested in because you found a hobby that you may really like.

As for the people in the autism community who dislike you, I am sorry. The best you can do is learn to be your own friend and learn how to like yourself. Also, learn how to be grateful for the things around you.

I though that the Millennial Generation is known as the first Generation to be tech savvy Generation.I know Gen Z is the first Generation to fully grew up with it,but I though the millennial Generation was the first was know Generation to become more adoptive towards technology.

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2 ... ology-use/
https://www.business.com/articles/tech- ... s-at-work/

Far as technology are concerned,I'm good with technology a sense that I understand how the internet works,and understand about Gaming Consoles ,and what cause them to overheat,etc,but far as fixing technology,I suck at, and I'm really not all that great when it comes to programming technology. I might be good in the area of photography,but it hasn't been put to the test yet and really,it has been a while since I took a lot of pictures.

Uhh, it's best not to generalize too much about each generation regarding "tech-savviness."

A lot depends on what you mean by being "truly tech savvy." Knowing how to use a smartphone, and knowing how to use other specific devices such as Gaming Consoles, and knowing how to use various social media, is not at all the same thing as, say, having the skills needed for computer programming. The majority of younger folks today are "tech savvy" in the former sense but not in the latter, deeper sense. On the other hand, there do exist quite a few (though, obviously, not the majority of) older folks who are "tech savvy" in a deep sense. I would also point out that while computers have gotten more and more powerful, thanks mainly to Moore's law, and while new kinds of specialized devices get created periodically, the basic principles of computer science have not changed much since the 1960's.

Be that as it may ....


Alas, groups in general have a strong tendency to become cliquish unless they specifically make an effort not to be. Most people in general, and especially most people on the autism spectrum, feel more comfortable talking to people they already know than to strangers. To make friends in a group, you might just have to keep attending regularly for several months and put up with being ignored by the old-timers until you become a familiar face. In the meantime, you can keep an eye out for fellow newcomers and make a point of being friendly to them if possible (although they won't necessarily be interested either; some autistic people really are completely averse to socializing even with fellow support group attendees).

If the leader of the group is open to talking to rank-and-file members, you might bring up this problem and ask him/her to consider what, if anything, can be done to help newcomers feel more welcome.

One thing I do in my own group is make sure the newcomers get opportunities to talk in meetings (but without forcing them to talk if they don't want to).

Another thing I do is keep a record of members' interests, with the aim of introducing members to other members who share their interests. Currently I'm doing this manually; I'll eventually be involved in creating an online platform for this purpose.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 10 Mar 2020, 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

"no longer proud" sounds like you used to be proud

i have never been proud

I have never been ashamed of being an aspie.

Afraid of persecution for being an aspie, but neither ashamed nor proud.

Back to the main topic:

- I take pride in the ways I've worked around my difficulties, not by heavy-duty "masking" but by finding places where I could be myself as much as possible. (My greatest desire these days is to help other autistic people find or create such places too.)
- I take pride in the ways I've resisted and avoided pressures to conform to oppressive norms.
- I take pride in being a deep analytical thinker. (And I think most of us are deeper thinkers than the average person is; we pretty much have to be.)
- I take pride in my curiosity and my natural desire to acquire deep knowledge of whatever I'm fascinated by. (If that's an autistic trait, then, without the existence of autism or at least BAP, science would never have come into being, nor technology, nor scholarship of any kind.)

I too have never been proud of having Asperger's syndrome. I seem to have gotten most of the downsides with none of the benefits (except the stereotypical Aspie memory, but that was only through childhood - it got destroyed by fifteen years of depression and ECT that I had in an attempt to treat the depression, and now I'm to the point where I can be actively watching a TV show and forget what's on during a commercial break). I don't feel disliked - honestly, I doubt people pay enough attention to me to take a liking/disliking to me. I just fade into the background, becoming just like a decorative fake plant or something - people see me enough to not run into me or anything, but otherwise I am completely off their radar. I have never felt like I fit in or belonged anywhere in my life (at least, not for more than five minutes or so before I am once again made to feel "other"), including here on WP and a social skills group I've been going to for over a decade where most of the attendees are on the autism spectrum.

Autism is a disability (in social interactions among other things). NTs derive great amounts of joy from social interactions but not us. I don't see how having important sources of joy denied is beneficial. Some may say that since we care far less for social interactions we can spend our time on more 'productive' activities and make greater contributions (as some likely Autistic academics have). But the personal price is too great. Achievement is important but so is happiness.

This is not to say that there are no positives to Autism at all, but the benefits are greatly outweighed by the disadvantages.