Have you ever felt suicidal in your life?

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I'm under the impression that everyone feels suicidal, at least once in there life.
Prove me wrong.

Suicidal thoughts are my status quo , the only time I don't have them is when I'm distracted and it's hard to distract yourself 24/7.

Fortunately most of us don't act on these thoughts. People may often harbour murderous or homicidal thoughts as well - towards meddling mom-in-laws perhaps - but don't act on them- just not worth it!

Then there are those other pesky thoughts initiated by seeing someone who sets your pulse racing and you'd like to see undressed - but we can't just take them like something on a takeaway menu... luckily thoughts don't always lead to actions!

I've seldom had suicidal thoughts but can't say never.

Yup, I've been there, went through some very low points in time, though thankfully not as a constant affliction that hijacks my autonomy.

It makes me sad the nobody has answered 'no'.

Yes. I have have in the past. Half tried. I don't do pain or suffering and don't do blood or heights, and torture to be in a hospital, so suicide... Uhmmm. Well. I am still here! Hehe.

Half tried in the past by tempting fate a couple of times but each time miracles happened which prevented me from doing it.

It was mainly being in situations I could not change and I did not have a way out of. Was situations I could no longer face.


If God was not real I would not be here today.

^I'm glad you're here with us on WP and that you help others feel better. Thanks!

Not really an L&D question, I think.
Also, don't forget that WP is a pre-selected group of people with "increased risk of depression and anxiety".

^Hadn't really noticed it was in L&D - would probably be better off moved to Haven or GAD.

Yes.

Only once.
And then never again.

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I did, briefly. However, I never attempted anything. It was an intrusive thought that followed me around. Something that I felt a little guilty about because I was aware of all the good in my life and I felt almost selfish for feeling that way. I think that the gnawing thought that the people in my life deserved better than me and the what ifs plagued my mind the most. Predominately, what if they are right? (They're not) What if I really don't make anything of myself? (Gotta at least try) Is messing up just what I do? (No) What if they (the bullies) were right about the fact that I shouldn't be listened to? (They weren't).

These were concerns I kept mostly private since I didn't want to be considered a bother, except for internet forums and in poems I wrote. Creative writing allowed me a space to let out my pent up emotions. I remember one line from an old poem of mine; You look down on me with such distaste, am I really such a waste?

Which is a good indication of the thoughts I was wrestling with at the time. I experienced childhood depression and frequent hopelessness throughout my teenage years and I didn't have a firm sense of identity outside of that. Which made me worry about being bland or never achieving anything and I didn't fully realise just how deep in the depression I was until I started to come out of it. For quite a long time I just thought that's simply how I was.

I didn't like who I was and I was under the impression that I never would, that the internal life / the fantasy I was living would always stay separate from my external. Then I moved to a better place, I unlearned a lot of the toxic lessons I was taught, and started taking steps to become that inner self. However, this wasn't exactly an overnight change and I'm still learning.

Never.

All of my anger and frustration has been directed outward at those whose only purpose in life seems to involve blaming me, shaming me, and increasing my misery.

Such people are not even worth the effort it would take to spit on them.