Don’t feel like I’ll ever be able to drive

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Hi everyone.

Today I’ve had a driving lesson. I’ve been having lessons with the same instructor since last year; he’s lovely and very understanding , but after my lesson today he told me that he thinks I’m plateauing in my progress This is largely due to my overthinking really simple things, like indicating, at the expense of road position.

He told me that he doesn’t know how long it might take to get me to test standard: I don’t want to take a practical test before I’m ready, but at the same time I don’t want to be learning forever.

It’s also important to note that I really, REALLY want to drive. It’ll open up so many work opportunities if I do, and be another step on my journey of independence. It’s just that right now I know I’m making stupid mistakes (like not knowing where to turn on a roundabout towards my own home!) and can’t see a way past things.

Grateful for your advice.

You're doing way better than me! I had four lessons and just could not get the hang of the pedals so gave up.

You're probably over thinking becauase you're nervous. The vast majority of people can drive. It takes most people about 6 months to be good enough to sit their test. Given the virus you're not that much over the average and given enough time the over thinking will go.

I would continue with the lessons until you can’t afford them.

It took me years to learn to drive—but I succeeded, finally.

Always remember that much of the responsibility lies with the driver immediately behind you, like you’re more responsible for the driver before you.

If you have access to a friend with a car, ask the friend if you could practice with him/her, outside of lessons. It is essential that you get lots of practice in actual driving conditions.

Don’t be upset if your friend refuses, though. There is risk in allowing another person to drive one’s car.

Don’t feel bad. Driving in the U.K. is harder than driving in the US.

I feel the same.

I don't even know how to ride a bike let along handling a car, although they are different things.

And a car comes with a lot of responsibilities such as cleaning and insurance, I just can't handle that.

I recently got an electronic scooter and had two accidents already. I just don't think I can ever mobilize via tools.

Scooters are more prone to accidents than cars.

I hate them on the road with cars.

I did note when I was learning that attempting to take on board everything about controlling a car at once didn't work for me. So I concentrated on learning one thing at a time - first I downgraded to learning in an automatic so I didn't have to worry about gear changes. Then I concentrated on learning the 'feel' of steering as the instructor used the second set of pedals to accelerate and brake. Then I took over those functions and learned the feel of the car's inertia and momentum, and things like how long it took to stop and what various standard speeds looked like in terms of the amount of movement I could see. Then I added mirror-checking. Then finally went back to a manual gearbox. Only then did I start on things like road rules.

I found it helped to become comfortable with one aspect at a time so I wasn't trying to juggle all those different things at once, and could, to a degree, relegate each one to muscle memory with enough practice, before taking on a new complication.

It did mean taking slightly longer to progress, but it also meant at each stage I was comfortable with what I'd learned to that point, and was ready for the next small part.

There is an old saying that "Practice Makes Perfect" that applies towards learning how to drive. What that means is that the more you drive, the better you become at driving. Eventually driving becomes almost automatic like putting on a shoe and tying your shoelaces.

Generally when you learn how to drive, you practice in areas where there is more time to make critical decisions. These are on the backroads, far away from traffic. You learn the fundamentals there and then move onto busier streets and finally onto highways in busy cities. In the countryside you are given greater reaction times, therefore there is less panic when things start to go wrong. More time to correct mistakes.

By the way I hate roundabouts. I despise them. Give me a good old stop sign any day of the week. What is worst than one roundabout is when they chain 3 or 4 of them together, one right after another. This is someone who has driven over a million miles to date.

I agree with everyone on this thread & that never happens. Feelings aren’t facts. Just because you don’t feel like you’ll ever be able to drive doesn’t make it so. I think you will be able to drive with more time & practice. Good luck.

My advice is just relax and enjoy it. The more relaxed you are the more you enjoy, and the more you enjoy the less you overthink as you start to become one with the car and master it.
Remember. There is no time limit. Do not do that to yourself. Neither expect to pass the first time or any other time.
Just say to yourself "When I am ready I am ready, and when I will pass I will pass". That way you will unburden yourself with the pressure of trying to pass when you are not ready, and you will know that when you do pass you will e ready.
And a hint... You do not really start driving until after you have passed because when you have your own car and are out in it on your own, you get to really learn its limits. (I am not saying to go out of your way to intentionally take your car to its limits. (And I am not saying to break the law either!)).

But going back to what I am saying. Rid yourself of thinking you will take ages to pass or many tries to pass. If you do so what? You will be ready when you are ready, ok? So if you pass tomorrow or next week or 30 years what does it matter? There is no time limit, and here in Britain ones driving licence lasts years once you pass. So there is no pressure. Just enjoy the process of it.
When I took my third test I passed and I honestly thought I had failed at the start of the test as I had stalled the car. It happened because I had an 18 stone examiner sitting besides me and a 24 stone examiner sitting across the two back seats examining the examiner (Rear seat belts were not compulsary then) and my driving instructor had just had a new little Renault so I had only once briefly driven it, and there was a steep hill right outside the test centre. The previous examiner I had on the first two tests had a reputation to fail first timers if they were young men, and I found out after as when I was told on the third time that I passed, I was soo surprized I argued and pointed out what I thought were faults that I did and the last examiner would have failed me on! (They had told me I had done a faultless test).

But my point is that when I started my third test and stalled the car so I assumed that I had failed, I thought to myself "I may as well get my moneys worth as they have not stopped me" so I relaxed and treated it as an extra driving lesson! Haha. It is probably how I passed as I was soo nurvous!

Perhaps you should get a Vespa.

I agree with the idea of getting a qualified friend to sit with you so you can get frequent practice, as long as you stick to safe situations. I failed my test twice, but passed on the third try, and I think what made a big difference was that I was driving to work and back practically every day with a co-worker who was a good driver. We must have done that for months, but it took that long for me to get used to driving. During my previous attempts to learn, I could only afford one lesson a week, and I usually had to do that in my lunch hour. I sensed that the frequency of the lessons and the abruptness of them were the reason why I wasn't getting any better. But that constant daily drive, same route, same time of day, got me to the point where I felt I was almost part of the machine. It still wasn't easy because there were a lot of things to learn that didn't happen on that route, but once I'd got the hang of the basic driving thing, it freed up my mind to focus on those issues. And the other good thing about getting a friend to help is that it's much cheaper than lots of professional lessons.

It took me 3 years to get my license! So I had 3 years of lessons, because it took a long time for me to feel ready to take the theory and the practical tests. But after only failing the theory test once and the practical test twice, I managed to pass and get my license.

Learning to drive was a nightmare for me as well. My driving instructor gave me a valuable piece of advice "there's the driving you need to know for life and the driving you need to know for the test."

I'm unfamiliar with UK driving tests but in the US as long as you avoid any of the auto-fails its basically impossible to accumulate enough small errors to fail (you're allowed 16 I accrued I think 9 and was an awful driver). I was able to past my test ~1 year after starting to learn.

Passing the test took the pressure off learning. Once I was licensed to drive I really learned how to drive slowly over time. It was probably ~6 years before I was actually comfortable driving.