OLDER ASPIES (Over 40, More Like Over 50) Do you think?...

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...your Autism has "improved" with age, gotten worse, or stayed the same? Has a diagnosis had any bearing on improvement OR regression?

I came across an article that seems to suggest Autistic hindrances actually get worse with age, with or without an earlier diagnosis. If you're an older Aspie, what say you? And do you feel worse off compared to NTs your age in regards to the natural aging process (like worse cognitive, psychological, physical problems than your peers)?

Here's the article:
https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/au ... n-old-age/

Much worse because if I am on the spectrum, I hit burnout several times as I am older which I do not remember hitting in my youth.

Last edited by Mountain Goat on 30 Sep 2020, 7:31 am, edited 1 time in total.

It depends on you. You need to learn to deal with people or you may have more problems then because everybody expects you to be mature in social interaction a way that matches your age. Be aware that other people will care about you and your condition less once you are older. On the other hand your experiences may help you and your social skills may haved improved but this depends on yourself and the way that you learn to deal with your condition and to improve with other people and to prevent bad triggers. Don't ever stop trying to improve!

I wasn't asking for advice. I was asking YOU a question about yourself.

Do you feel you've learned to deal with people or do you, quite an extreme, have more problems? Have your experiences, quite an extreme, helped you? Have your social skills improved? Have you learned to deal with your condition?

I have more problems than I did when I was younger. My social skills have practically vanished. I have not learned to deal with my condition.

The only things that have become better are my abilities to cope with this crazy world we all live in.

My social performance has improved. ..because I have all but withdrawn from society.

Last edited by Romofan on 30 Sep 2020, 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Speaking as an Aspie who is 70, upon reflection I suspect that back when I was 37, I also would have been rude to someone who was trying to help me. Perhaps even failing to notice they were from another country.

Now that I am older, I think that I would be able to translate what was said into information that would more narrowly bear on my question and even express gratitude that someone would take the time to respond.

Along with the progress in coping and management skills acquired over time I have also accumulated observations that some others never attempt to improve. If you are looking to collect evidence to either support or refute the thesis that Aspergers is degenerative over time, my observation would be not necessarily.

The AS stuff has been quite constant; getting a DX at age 56 just made sense of my life. The accumulated PTSD from trying to interact with NTs before I really understood their limitations has gotten worse.

Not sure what to say about how things are now with Aspergers/autism since there is now so much neurological, endocrine, mitochondrial, stuff going wrong and some of the effects interact and some of the effects are the same.

Thanks to those who responded. I'm not trying to meddle in your lives, simply looking for honest feedback. Much appreciated. I'd like to respond to those who responded. If you don't feel like answering, that's cool. But I'd like to reply to those who replied to me...

@Steve1963: If I may ask: Why do you think this is, that the social skills you may have once had have disappeared with age, and when did you learn you had Asperger's / were autistic?



@Fnord: All-in-all, a very positive message, if I interpret correctly. On one hand, you're saying that the challenges and social differences an Aspie has in childhood are still there in some form in later years, (still real, and felt, and noticeable from cradle-to-grave). But accepting we are who we are, and that it's a life-long thing, inevitability helps or at least leaves us less surprised and disappointed than when we were younger. Learning to cope.

@Romofan

Or, rather, your social failures have decreased because you've restricted your social interactions. You'd still have those problems, but you're not in the lion's den as often, so the ill effects aren't as prevalent as in your younger years. Not a criticism, as I don't blame you at all. If you have the ability to totally withdraw and still be able to survive and live in peace and relative comfort, it may very well be worth it. Apparently, the out-of-sync nature of Asperger's remains throughout life.

I wonder, though, if the researchers who wrote the article were biased. To them, such social withdrawl from an older Aspie is seen as a NEGATIVE, (because, from an NT perspective, social withdrawal = BAD). So, they say the older Aspie is doing worse for being withdrawn, when it may be saving the Aspie's life. Maybe the ability to withdrawal socially is a POSITIVE and a survival mechanism for an Aspie, and we'd fall apart sooner if it was necessary to still be as socially involved in our later years.

Perhaps my reply to quite an extreme can be perceived as abrasive, but I am indeed Autistic and may come across as rude, even when it's not my intent. And it wasn't in that response. Moreover, sometimes being direct with someone (especially someone who doesn't speak English as their first language) may help clarify things. I was trying to clarify the nature of my question. I'm asking people for their personal experience and how they feel (not for direct advice). And I know (stereotypically) we have trouble expressing our feelings...if anything, that seemingly doesn't change with age, as this thread seems to indicate.

I'm grateful for all responses. But if I misinterpreted a question and gave a tangent response, I wouldn't be offended by the OP for clarifying the nature of the original question.

Maybe I have a lot to learn. If I make it to 70, I'll have to self-evaluate.

I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with the theory that Asperger's gets worse over time. I'm curious and looking for answers from those who actually have experience. I guess I had hope that it would get better, or coping mechanisms would make things easier. Some here have said that's true for them; the article says it's not necessarily true. I'm also looking for "bad things" regarding Asperger's-and-aging that I hadn't taken into consideration before.

So, without alluding to me and my response to another poster...how do you, timf, feel about the aging process and being autistic? You mentioned you were quite a different person at 37 vs. almost 70. What changes did you personally experience in your 40s, 50s, 60s that shaped you and changed your behaviors from the time you were in your 20s and 30s? Anything you'd like to share about your journey and the things that have / haven't changed throughout your nearly 70 years?

@Dear_one:

What are these limitations of NTs (in a nutshell) that you've come to understand? Are you saying ignorance was bliss? Now that you've realized these limitations of NTs, are you saying accepting that they exist and will never change has caused more PTSD than when you were younger and less aware?



@kitesandtrainsandcats:

This is a good point. Since autism is genetic, it's possible that there are other genetic problems (health, mental) that have nothing to do with socialization or living in an NT world. Rather, the "interaction" of our genes may mean we have things going on in later years that the average NT does not; rather, they're tied in with / amplified by our autistic genetics.

@Mountain Goat:

Good point about Aspie burnout happening at various stages throughout life. Indeed, the mental and physical toll this takes on a person inevitably adds to the aging process. I was hoping maybe such burnout would become less common or disappear with age, but it's not necessarily so.

I was diagnosed at age 55. My social skills began to disappear when I stopped drinking/drugging. I guess that's not a big surprise.