Exhausted. What do NT’s want?

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Do you ever keep it short n sweet, kind, polite and positive, only to get constant dirty looks and cold shoulder by NT’s? Sometimes bordering on contempt? I don’t seem to have this issue with the older generation. Mostly the younger generations.

Wtf do they want from me/us/each other?

I come from a genuinely polite, kind place, yet at the end of most interactions, it’s the same result.

I don't know what it is with me, but I can attract and make friends with people of any age, gender and neurology....except for NT females around my age (unless they are family). No matter how interested in them I am, how talkative and friendly I am, I seem to frighten them off and they unfriend me from Facebook or at least unfollow me. And I can never make out why. One theory I do have is that I was socially rejected so much at school by my female NT peers, that I have become rather afraid of being socially rejected by my female NT peers as an adult, and that they can just sense that I appear subtly standoffish. That's my only theory, because I don't seem to have a problem with making friends with anyone else, but NT females in their 20s and 30s, forget it.

In life there are a great deal of people who you may come into contact with.
Not all of them will be nice / good / kind / fair / honest / decent / friendly.

Just try and find a few that are all those things and just try and form long term stable friendships
a few genuine decent friends are worth much more than having loads of pretend friends.

Some (esp less well educated who are more firm in gender roles etc) young NT men want to 'win' social situations like it's a game.

If you're a trans man and don't compete, it's proof to them that you're 'really a woman'.
If you're a cis man and don't compete, they might even still say that - ie call you a 'girl'. Or they'll call you weak. Or (even if you're straight), they'll call you a homophobic slur.
If you're a woman, you can get away with it but only cos they're either busy ignoring you or cos they're busy trying to get into your pants...

It's very hard for aspies to win this 'game'.
So we just look bad all the time cos they're constantly trying to get one over one us and managing it.

There are people out loose who are so wrapped up in their own clique that others don't seem human. You may hear demands to declare loyalty to groups that exist only in Harry Potterland, among many others. The media is encouraging this fragmentation, because it distracts from the extreme wealth imbalance.

One thing I have noticed is that when people are feeling anxious - and interacting with NTs is a scenario for anxiety for us - our faces reflect it in that we can tend to completely forget to smile, not realising how this lack of positive facial expressions sends a negative, off-putting message which we are not conscious of. It can make us seem surly or unfriendly, even though we are not.

I have had to train myself to smile in social situations. It did make a difference to the reception received from others. It's only one factor in this, though I surmise that it is an important one. NTs judge on appearance and body language, unlike us - we tend to judge people on what they say, and whether they seem sincere in what they say. It's like two different languages are going on, and they don't like it. Should we make an effort to accommodate them then? It depends on what your social goals are. It's a choice.

What do NTs want?
It often seems they want us to become them.