Going outside is scary

Post Reply New Topic

Hi! I'm new to this thing, and I'm curious about some aspects that I've been struggling with for a long time, not knowing it was autism all along.
Being raised with my parents saying "You're normal. Just because you are very different from the others, and are much more sensitive to things, doesn't mean you have autism" and having autistic classmates who struggled more with the outside world than me, I've come to think it is improper and wrong to have a day to day issues like wanting the whole world around you to just shut up for a minute, or not tolerating specific noises at all, or being afraid to go outside like a 20 yr old full-grown woman. Recently, (maybe 3 months ago) I started to search these "weaknesses" (because that's what my mother used to call them) on the internet, and even went to some psychiatrists to find out what's "wrong" with me not being able to live like the other 20 yr olds around me. The therapist ended up diagnosing me with anxiety disorder, and I was incredibly furious because I hadn't been able to correctly communicate and explain what I've been experiencing my whole life.
Deviating from the subject a little, I can't go outside by myself without my ANC headphones, or else I might panic or get too overwhelmed by the sounds around me and crash on the bed for many hours of "healing sleep", (that's how I call it) when coming back home. But I've been experiencing something that I looked up and found out to be called "autism burnout" (not too sure, is it that?). How can you function on days when even the noise-canceling headphones stop doing the job, and the music in them only seems to annoy you even more, instead of calming you, and everything turns into this yearning to go outside, but ending up staying inside due to the huge possibility of getting too overstimulated, even only by a short walk around the block?
How do you deal with daily extreme overstimulation just from being alive?
So why is it so hard to get diagnosed with autism as an adult woman, and do others feel the same litteral shiver down their spine when they have to go outside by themselves?
And also, why is it so hard for neurotypical people to "believe" you are on the autism spectrum if you are (as some psychiatrists call) "high functioning"?

I find it overstimulating and anxiety inducing to go outside, too. I also got told that I just have an anxiety disorder instead of ASD when I got assessed the second time, which is definitely them minimizing my issues, and is thus very frustrating to me.

Since I've been able to be more independent lately I've personally tried to keep where I go to specific routes that I already know, so it's less anxiety inducing for me to walk around, and if I can I go outside while there's less or no people outside (though that does limit what I can do on sunny days...).

As for it being hard to get diagnosed as an adult woman, I think ASD is sometimes still seen as a condition that mainly boys and men experience. It's also always suggested that girls and women present differently in their symptoms and behaviours, though I personally feel like that may be slightly exaggerated, and that the aspect of that which does exist might be more-so due to socialization, rather than an innate difference between the sexes.

I know that as a kid I had a lot of the same symptoms and behaviours that my brother did, but as someone born as a girl I was more heavily criticized and stifled for having those issues since it was deemed much less "appropriate", so I compensated and tried to please others by making myself mask more.

Edit: I forgot to add, welcome to WrongPlanet! I hope you find the forums useful and get any advice or support that you may need here.

I have friends who can barely stay inside by spring. I'm mostly an indoor cat, but I get depressed if I don't get out for some fresh air and sunshine pretty regularly. I don't interact with people much unless I feel like it. Nature is interesting and calming for me.

This is really relatable. Outside is where all the things I don't like are. Why would I go outside?

I can relate to being sensitive to noises, I wish I had advice.

This is a type of problem experienced by some on the Autistic spectrum. It does not affect me in that way. There are some articles on the internet that describe this condition and the solution to this condition.

The way to accomplish this is build up your tolerance to stress a little at a time. Some people are so stressed out that they cannot even look outside their windows without experiencing extreme fear. So they are not only limited to being indoors but even looking out of doors will bring them pain.

But anyways this problem can be fixed but it takes some effort to accomplish.

I tend to find a place in nature to go away from everyone and everything, once my body adjusts a little past the sensory assault of getting outside it's not the worst thing in the world if it's a calm day weather wise, the only issues is getting past the street. My body and mind will react to everything. Cars are especially distressing going by and make me very self aware as well as somehow even throw me off balance. It's just a mad dash for the trail so I can be at peace again.

I find sunglasses very useful, not only because of the brightness but also because everything becomes tinted brown-ish, reducing colour contrast. It just took me over thirty years to finally get a pair of prescription sunglasses.

I've used ear plugs in extremely noisy scenarios, but I found that to be dangerous at times. Also, it only makes me more sensitive when I don't wear them.
So i rather avoid extreme noise and go without earplugs, but yeah, as you can guess, not a great fan of the outdoors either. (Though my prescription sunglasses are a definite improvement)

I’d rather be outside; I’m lucky I can be “in nature” just stepping out my door. But I also have to remember to stop and observe to get the benefit.

I hate noise and cars and zipping around activity. Sometimes I have to put up with it due to my work. Sometimes it’s all in my head.

Hey Bulinozaur,

I think of two reasons:

1) Many psychiatrists and other 'professionals', are not trained on HFA, and how it differs from 'classic autism'; that is, people with severe symptoms, who are unable to manage themselves in daily life. That's not your fault, of course. Sometimes, we need to educate our caregivers, in order to let them research and get caught up with our own needs.

2) Neurotypicals, who are often our friends, family, neighbors, etc - they may really care, but are not aware of the degrees of autism.

If I think of myself even a year ago, before I knew what this was - "autism" to me then meant, "that dumb kid sucking his thumb and learning 5 years behind his peers". That sounds discriminatory (sorry), and I know better now as an ASD adult, like you. But our neurotypical friends, are also slow to understand. That's the NT responses I've got: "You think you're autistic? But you're so smart! Why would you call yourself something derogatory like that?"

I've really restrained the urge to tell others. If you're High-Functioning, as you say - don't tell everyone. For those closest to you, who may truly need to know - you'll have to sit down and have a long face-to-face talk. Autism has so many facets. It can't be explained in a text message or 'social media' post. Many of us function so well in daily life, that our strengths and weaknesses... well, merge, so that we just seem "eccentric" to others.

- The average person has heard of autism, but doesn't understand these finer levels. For those you really care about, you'll have to explain it to them in a more personal setting.

- Just do what works for you, and don't worry about what others think, or if people think you're 'weird' for wearing your headphones or for doing so-called guy-things. Make your world fit for you as an independent gal, rather than trying to fit into the world around you.

i am sorry you feel that way.Maybe you should try camping or hiking.