I have misophonia, meaning I develop irrational anger and fight-flight behaviour from everyday sounds. They don't have to be loud or obnoxious like a baby crying or a dog barking. In fact, I'm better with those ones because I have empathy for the baby or the dog in distress.
Most of my problem sounds are innocent, repetitive and rhythmic sounds from humans:
- typing on a keyboard or phone
- squeaky shoes or high heeled footsteps
- crinkling a snack bag (I'll need to kill you for that)
- fidgeting or moving around in a chair
- chewing, slurping, breathing, clearing throats
- heartbeats
- talking (too much, but sometimes talking at all)
- eating takeaway (scraping chips in the container)
Other killers include:
- paper bags (I can barely touch them because of the sound)
- weather, traffic or news on TV and radio
- styrofoam squeaking or rubbing (firing squad please)
- doorbells
- dogs chewing their feet
- televisions on in the background
- quiet music in waiting rooms (I subconsciously strain for it)
- food sizzling in a pan
- cutlery hitting bowls or plates
- snow shovelling when it scrapes the ground
- bells and alarms
I know these aren't all repetitive but to my misophonic brain if it continues more than a second or two, it's repeating endlessly and I need to scream, melt down, sit on the ground with my hands over my ears, cry, or flee. Not gonna lie, many of those make me feel violent. I have to get away asap and it can take me a few days to calm down.
Having bilateral Tinnitus for 14 years hasn't helped. I haven't heard silence since January 2008.
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I never give you my number, I only give you my situation.
Beatles