Mourning

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Anybody here go through a close family/friend dieing?

Did you mourn? For how long? Was it debilitating or more like "Oh well they're gone"?

a close friend of mine killed himself last year... i remember thinking he was pretty stupid for doing that, but otherwise i was like 'eh'

my dad died suddenly and also my sister.
my first reaction was denial and I shouted at the person who told me they were lying, then I sobbed uncontrolably for several minutes, then I went into 'well what needs to be done now' mode.
I was okay but then cried uncontrolably at my dads funeral (however there was a lot of complicated stuff about my mum's behaviour surrounding the whole thing)
For several months after I would sometimes feel strange and want the world to stop and acknowledge my dad had died - it was like 'how can everything just carry on like nothing happened?'
I cried whenever I had to tell someone my sister died for several months after it happened but was depressed about a lot of other stuff around that time so it was a general outlet also I think.
I don't fear death so much as I have a belief it is not the end and that it is just a release from the horrible world we live in. my tears were for the situation in which they died and the people left behind rather than for the fact they were gone.

A friend of mine killed himself a long time ago, when I was a sophomore in high school, shortly after I moved away. For the shortest time, long enough to end the phone conversation, it was just factual information. Then I was off the phone, my parents had been listening and understood and wanted to comfort me. But I was uncomfortable (in the truest sense) and couldn't do but to leave the house and walk alone till I could understand.

I cried when I got back, not when I was alone. For maybe a minute. I think his family thought me heartless. He was one of my closest friends.

I guess I've never mourned. Mourning sounds a lot like depression, and that happens enough for everyone. There's more to be learned from celebrating life than regretting death, anyway.

Last edited by nomessiah on 10 Aug 2007, 5:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

i dont really get death, i laughed at my step dads fathers funeral.

My granny died when I was 12 years old. I had just started at high school which was REALLY stressful. When I was told, I didn't really do anything. I just went to my room and only emerged for food, Digimon and the bathroom. My Dad (who's mum she was) reacted violently, and in turn I ended up becoming violent too. I became depressed, developed SEVERE OCD and I had a huge regression and became a withdrawn, stimming type of Aspie. I am better now, but I still get sad sometimes.

Like 4 people that were close to me died. One was the best friend I ever had, and like a father to me. I never cried, never mourned, etc... Frankly, I don't understand that.

I was very much the same way with my Dad, close Uncle, close cat, but my great-grandma will still get me choked up. Especially the song Ruby by Tweaker... (Ruby was her name)

Forget the video. Listen to the song and lyrics.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djJ-FG22lP0[/youtube]

My dad died when I was 14 years old and what happened I went into deniel and I stayed like that for about 5 years then one day when I was 19 years old I just got really angry and I let all out I couldn't control myself at all and early this year my nephew died at 10 weeks I felt more for him then I did for my dad. My dad was ill for the last 4 years he was alive but my nephew a ten week old baby with his whole life ahead of him that was how I felt.

I forgot about my great grandmother, and several grandparents. I had three uncles die, that I was eventually told about. One was a close friend that was like a father to me. I also had another friend die.

When I was told my granny died (I had not seen her for years but had been fond of her), I actually tried to cry but couldn't.
I felt almost nothing and remember sitting there trying to work out why I was feeling almost nothing.
It bothered me at the time.
I had a sort of brief, delayed reaction to her absence a few years after.
Not really had anyone else I know die, but I am in dread of a parent dying and how I will deal with it as I tend to see them as my only support in life.

I felt nothing when family members I wasn't close to died.

I know it'll be different for the two people I'm close to; I try not to think about it....

No. I can't mourn, though I want to. My grandfather passed away two years ago. He was the person who was closest to me, not just among my family but pretty much among anybody I've ever known. I miss him very much, but I wasn't able to mourn then and still am not. I don't think I can fully comprehend death when it comes to people passing away; I do understand the death of animals, it hits me hard every time and I can cry, but not people. With people it's too much for me to really grasp.

Last edited by ixochiyo_yohuallan on 10 Aug 2007, 7:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

The thing is, I get very depressed when somebody I know dies. I have a very good aspie friend whose younger brother lost his life in a traffic accident last month. Every time I think about it, I cry. I only met this guy a couple of times but he was the kind of person who made a big impression on everybody he met.

My (NT) husband died some years ago and I showed no outward signs of mourning or grief whatsoever. I think others found that strange. However, as my closest friend, I badly missed him and still do. As an atheist, and a person for whom reason means a lot, I do not believe that any part of ourselves survives death so I found it strange dealing with the rituals following death which you have to go along with.

I (and other people from my family who thought me to be a person with antisocial personality disorder thanks to that) always found it odd that I never cared what happened to others. After all, it's highly illogical to cry for somebody - *I* am alive and dead ones don't suffer. Somebody's death was never a source of sorrow for me.

My uncle died when I was 8, my grandfather died of pneumonia when I was 12 and my grandmother passed away 5 years ago of a skin cancer. Every time my feelings looked the same - in the beginning there was a mild shock (when grandma died I observed myself to check after how a long time I'd get used to the fact she was dead - after about 1,5 hour) that wasn't quite unpleasant, on the opposite, I derived pleasure from looking at crying people, visiting a charnel-house and taking part in a funeral.

Recently there was a national mourning in my country when a group of Polish pilgrims died in a bus accident in France but I wasn't sad at all - why should I? Generally death of people doesn't influence me, for example I was more shocked by Dumbledore's death or when Danisha Wood, a character of HoND fanfics read by me seemed to be dead than when JP II died.