Your biggest pet peeves when it comes to ASD stereotypes

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What are some of your biggest pet peeves when it comes to stereotypes the outside world has about us?

My single biggest pet peeve is the fact a lot of neurotypicals think we're mentally challenged.

Not that there's anything wrong with being mentally challenged (being mentally challenged is beyond anyone's control). But a lot of people on the spectrum are above average in intelligence. To stereotype us as mentally challenged is an insult to our intelligence (and illustrates a vast misunderstanding of ASD)

Some common misconceptions about people on the ASD spectrum:

• Advanced Evolution
• Curable
• Cursed/Incurable
• Fakes/Malingerers
• Intellectually Gifted
• Magical/Psychic
• Mentally Challenged
• Psychopathic/Sociopathic
• Pyromaniac
• Rage-Filled/Violent
• Sadistic
• Sex-Obsessed
• Vulnerable/Weak

There are likely more, but these are the first ones I could think of.

My two most hated stereotypes:-

1. Autistic people lack empathy
2. Autistic people are more likely to be school shooters

These get me every time. If autistic people lacked empathy while NTs didn't then why are we so misunderstood in this world? Not saying NTs lack empathy and autistics don't. What I'm saying is that empathy is not a notable NT or autism trait. It's more subjective than anything else, something that anyone can both have and lack, depending on the situation. And that's normal.

I hate the idea of "female autism" being a whole different type of autism.
Pretty sure there's only one DSM.
The idea that young girls are "socialised to mask" is ableist and sexist.
I wasn't socialised to mask or to be "feminine".
It wouldn't have worked anyway, if someone tried.

Why?
Because I'm autistic and I don't follow social cues.

Duh.

Which goes to show how contradictory a lot of the stereotypes are.

Curable yet cursed. Gifted yet mentally challenged. Violent yet vulnerable/weak.

That there's just one singular type of autism that everyone on the spectrum has and affects us all in the exact same way.

You'd think the fact that it's called the autism spectrum would be enough to get people to understand that we're all different and autism isn't a one-size-fits-all thing, but apparently not.

Autism still being referred to as a single condition that requires one all encompassing answer to any questions.

Not the school shooters bit again.

That the main stereotypes are the opposite of each other. Either we are "ret*ds" or socially awkward geniuses. That is what my signature is about.

That people conflate disability with inability.

That we all have meltdowns.

That we all lack empathy and the ability to even imagine what things are like from a variety of points of view. I hate that.

Another stereotype I hate is that we're all mentally challenged. Just because I have Beatle hair does not mean I'm mentally challenged. I hate North American society.

Because a lot of ASD people are not married; (even though a lot of neurotypicals are not either) we are labeled as sexual deviants

I've never been married. I used to think it was because I was too weird for a man to be interested in me. Never even had a serious relationship. After my diagnosis last year, I NOW know the reason I never found the "right" man: Not because I'm too weird, but because I had always looked in the WRONG population: Neurotyps.

People might view me as a spinster, but in fact, I'd been looking in the wrong demographic. Now that I know I'm autistic, I should sign on with an autistic dating site, right???? W R O N G.

Too late. At my age, the only men who could ever be interested in me (autistic or NT) would be too old, way too old. I can't help this. I can never be attracted to a man my own age, let alone older. Completely off the table.

So I'll be going through the rest of my life with people thinking something was wrong with me because I never married (this happens to NT women, too, who never married). But if people ask why I never married (a really, really stupid question that only NTs would ask), I'll tell them I'm autistic. That should instantly shut 'em up. Hopefully they won't then suggest I join an autistic dating site. If they do, I'll then say, "Yeah, right, like a 30-year-old man is gonna be interested in ME."

Now I'm trying to imagine how this works. "I shall use my MAGICAL AUTISM POWERS to, uh, pull scarves out of this hat?"

OK I thought of another pet peeve I have, although I'm not 100% certain how much of it is a stereotype of ASD necessarily but the notion that 'everyone is a little bit autistic'.

No, everyone is not 'a little bit autistic'. Autism may be a spectrum but you're either on the spectrum or you're not on the spectrum, you can't be 'a little bit autistic'. Having one or two traits or behaviors commonly stereotyped as being 'autistic traits' does not mean you're a 'little bit autistic'. A lot of these things the 'I'm a little bit autistic' crowd love to use as proof that they just have a dash of the autism are things that aren't exclusive to autistic people, they may even be things that NTs do too!

And I've also seen the phrase being used as a way to dismiss people who are struggling and wondering if they may be autistic, some other flavor of ND, or something else entirely - acting as if they're just going 'Well I do these two things a lot of autistics do, that must mean I'm autistic too'. I saw a tweet on Twitter once about this, I don't feel like finding it right now but it went something like: 'Yes, everybody pees but if you pee 70 times a day, then there's something going on.'

Pet peeves for stereotypes... An Autistic person / Person with ASD:
* Is uncaring
* Can't understand body language
* Is selfish
* Is a white male
* Is unreasonable

* Being outwardly stoic while I regulate a massive emotional reaction does not equate to uncaring, in fact it's the opposite. * I am the hypersensitive type and score "Superior" for recognition of facial expressions and body language. I think a lot of folks have shared that part of the not-looking-in-eyes, is that information or empathy factor or something similar. * It's a joy for me to talk to my ASD friends and family members who get that, rather than asking a question, relating a story similar to their story is empathetic (not selfish). * ASD appears to travel the female line in my family (grandmothers, mother, aunt, niece, daughter, female cousins - only two diagnosed, not for lack of trying). I'm glad to see recent studies finally moved the girl:boy ratio from 1:4 to 1:3; my lived experience suggests we're still at the very beginning of discovery. * This the reverse TOM problem --- I could see the reason in my Aunt's ruminating, but my NT relatives couldn't and criticized her ("stop that!") Would if they had validated her and supported her...