Do/have you use(d) AS as an excuse for stuff?

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3 times my mom accused me of using it as an excuse but I never. At least I never used AS itself as an excuse, and never consciously, and wasn't the times she accused me of doing it.

Have I used my AS as an explanation? Sure.

I try not to use it as an excuse, though, because that carries with it a whole different set of implications.

Now that I know I have AS I'm certainly going to use it as a reason/excuse if I find myself in situations I find difficult because of having it.
So far all I've done is email my family and told them "this is why I did all those odd/bizarre things" (ok, in some cases still doing them).
As I live alone it isn't too bad because I'm not dealing with people on a daily basis (I am no longer able to work due to another problem I have), so most days it's just me and the four walls.
If I was living with somebody I'd want to have lots of AS related literature around and if a problem cropped up I'd be able to point it out, "See? It's here in black and white." It must be difficult though if you're living with somebody who just doesn't get it no matter how hard you try to explain.

ITA I try to simply use it as an explanation to better help others understand me, I try not to use it as an excuse for not doing things and all. Of course, it's hard to always avoid it and all where I try to set a good example for my autistic son as well.

Well, I am not professionally diagnosed, and wouldn't use it as an excuse, although I might alude to it as an explanation, etc... I guess I sort of always have even if I didn't know others had the condition. My mother, for example, said I could never be a sales person because she said I don't have enough larceny in my soul. My teachers generally knew I was more interested in my interests. I could NEVER sell ice to an eskimo in the dead of winter because, EVEN IF I COULD, my personality would be one that said "Well, their ancesters used the natural stuff".

It gets me out of going to lots of parties during the festive season.

Ed Almos

LOL I never use my AS as an excuse to do that... I just say I can't find a babysitter for my kids. That works very effectively I find and it's mostly the truth because I rarely leave my kids with a babysitter. They may go to preschool or afterschool program and all but never a private babysitter.

My autism is one hell of an excuse for why I don't talk to people I don't know.

I try not to. However, it could be an explanation as to why I like a lot of things considered unusual for a person my age.

I never use it as an excuse, at least not consciously or deliberately. More or less, I see it as an explanation, perhaps even a predictor, of how I behave. If I don't want to go to a party, I just say, "I don't like parties." I never say, "I don't go to parties because I have AS."

Off topic: MAN, I hate parties. I had to go to a cookout this weekend... and I was the very first to leave after having spent close to two hours standing in the exact same spot. (I literally did not move, and a deranged squirrel kept throwing acorns at my head.) People think I'm an eccentric loner who does weird things with her hands, but I doubt they think "AS."

Same, except my mom does it frequently. Its times when she gets bitchy about one of my quirks and I try to explain but she says Im using it just as an excuse

I don't use it as an excuse, but mainly an explanation. If I can think of another reason for doing something the way that I am doing it, or another reason for misunderstanding someone, I will say that before I say anything else. It's up to them whether or not they accept the initial reason, and if they keep pushing, sometimes I will blurt it out as a reminder to them that I don't see things the same way.

Never have, never will.

Tim

Am I just not understanding this ?

I mean. . . here we have this thing that the NT call a disorder

and we aren't supposed to point to it and SAY "hey, we are having a problem because of this disorder thing?"

we are supposed to be as NT as possible and just swallow it if we miss the mark?


am I understanding this right?

I think maybe we (or maybe I!) need a clarification of what excuse means. From what I gather, excuse connotes something negative -- that, regardless of our actions, we try and blame everything on Asperger's, even if the action isn't a symptom. Basically, instead of taking responsibility for one's actions (e.g. being rude, breaking something, offending someone greatly), we victimize ourselves and put all blame on the disorder.

I don't think that saying you have a problem because you have a disorder is an excuse -- that's an explanation. Some NTs, or persons ill-educated about AS, might view it as an excuse, but that's just out of ignorance.

I personally think the distinction between excuse and explanation is abstract. But, if I'm interpreting the lingo correctly, I think the differences between the words deal with intent. Are we using the phrase "I did this because I have AS" in order to get away with something, or are we using it for very real and legitimate reasons, so that others might understand us better?

I think that's the main difference. But, I could be wrong.

I use AS as an explanation when I fail, but I never use it as an excuse not to try. For example, if I go to a party and have absolutely no luck socializing despite my best efforts, I will freely attribute that to AS. However, I will not say "Oh, because I have AS I will always suck at socializing, so there's no point in even trying to go to the party."