"You can't use your autism as an excuse for everything&

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Actually I was just really really mad at someone. I ended showing it in a cold shoulder kind of way, and I ended up hearing the title of this thread. I don't understand why she didn't understand that I was angry with her. I'm not going to go into this situation though (Thank God I'll never be vulnerable to her again).
The purpose of this thread is to ask, have you had people say you were using autism as an excuse?

mostly when i was todler

Yeah, but it seemed clear they were using that phrase as a look the other way or pass the buck.

Only myself.

No but I have had people state about another Aspie that he shouldn't use it as an excuse for bad behaviour, not that he did. You see this is exactly the problem, some of how we are just cannot be helped or cannot be stopped quickly enough in some situations and we can only apologise.

I doubt that many on the spectrum use it as an excuse, the NT world is much too unforgiving for that and very unaccepting of some things.

No. In fact, I know there are certain things I need to do, despite whatever I may have wrong with me.

Seems to be said a lot on here and on other forums having a go about WPers as excuse makers to,'reason' should not be mixed up with 'excuse',some people only see autism as a non disability social dyslexia,so they assume those with stronger autism [whatever the label] who have more problems and noticeable differences are just making excuses.
Am often think people on the spectrum can be just as ignorant in ASD as NTs can be.

Am think if people really are making excuses,they should be allowed to think like that,perhaps instead of people telling them they are making excuses,they could show them alternative ways to do it that they might find easier.
Telling someone who has developed a 'can't do __________ because of autism' mentality that they are making excuses is not going to change anything,the brain will always win,it takes time to develop a 'can do' mentality.


Am have had a lot of problems before in previous homes with some staff,and this 'autism as an excuse' excuse.
Am had it off them every day,either directly to am,or heard them all talking about it in the lounge.
Sister eventually got involved,arranged a meeting with the managers to complain about them,speech therapist also spoke on behalf of am to,both he and the team pysch. gave the staff autism training,and suddenly they started to understand and never used the word 'excuse' in front of am again,only thing is,they still did it when they were all together in the lounge,they had automatically assumed am could not have autism and learning difficulties because am was able to turn on a computer,they said am was 'too intelligent' for that reason.
am left that place a long time ago,but still see one of the staff occasionally as she works in other council homes to,she calls autism both a disease,and a mental illness,she also says autistics are all dumb.
she said am have regressed since am used to be with her [she was key worker at that place],because--- am do not make teas for anyone anymore [thats' not regression,thats' called not making tea for people that don't deserve it].

I say it's not an excuse, it's an explanation. Doesn't mean I'm proud of it, but at least I'm aware of it. I'm trying to do better...so cut me some slack..

Yes, I agree, we have reasons for what we do. Doesn't mean we are any more happy with some of our actions or speech than the NTs.

This is a common problem in the world today. Yes, a lot of my social problems can indeed be chalked up to my autism. No, I'm not using that as an "excuse" - it's a reason, the why and wherefore of my inability to "blend in". It means I've got that much more to overcome in the world, and it means that when I'm at home, I'd really like not to have to continue the same fight I've had all frakking day. Had the diagnosis existed when I was first married, things might have been very different (odds are, the marriage itself would not have happened, and in many ways I'd be happier today). Now that my current wife and I understand what's going on, we can construct our lives such that I get my downtime here, so I have the mental energy to fight the rest of the world when I leave here.

I don't "excuse" my difficulties - having the explanation just gives me a way I can work around them, and accomplish what needs to be done. And calling my reason an "excuse" helps no one - I'm not asking to be excused when I err, just understood.

"Don't use AS as an excuse to be rude" seems like it would be an easy way to hound anyone over matters of delicate politeness. Most of us joke every now and then, whether or not we have AS.

Next time someone tells you that, try asking specifically what it is that they want you to change.

What a good idea. I never seem to be able to think quickly in social situations and this sounds useful, at least if I say something wrong I will have a way of finding out what it is exactly and can consider it at length in my own time.

Yes I agree My therapist was leaturing me about using it as an excuse, but I was just trying to explain why I did things that way. My Autism is a part of me, and I thought I was being good by starting to accept that I can't help some of the things I do, and all I can do is try my best anyways!

Funny enough I did use my Autism once (ONLY once - it was to this really evil math teacher who was a complete jerk and had no clue how to teach me. I'm a visual learner, but ALL he did was talk! I had no clue what the heck this guy was saying half the time, especially since he would switch topics EXTREMELY quickly without warning. He also called visual learners stupid, and he was really mean to me in class!) so that I could say things in class that most people would go to the office for, but since he had no clue about Autism and he was scared of me because I spoke the truth, he just let me be
I probably wouldn't do it again though, since I basically was letting him know that he was totally getting to me

You see, the NTs just don't understand and don't forget in this 'blame culture' you are wrong even if you are right.

No. No I have never heard this from anyone. Ever.

I didn't know till last year I WAS AS, so I have never been able to use it as an excuse.

Since I have found out, I have been WANTING to use it on EVERY ASPECT of my LIFE

I mean, who DOESN'T want a 'get out of jail free' card?

but thank goodness, my maturity helps me realize that there is no excuse that would be acceptable if I blamed it on my AS.

so I deal with it.

your mileage may vary,

Merle