Do people tell you you're normal?

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This has been happening to me a lot, especially this year, and mostly very forcibly. I don't know why people (namely family members and a particular friend) have been doing this, and why I get so upset about it either. I don't know why the idea that I am normal upsets me so much, it should make me happy.

I don't think it is because of the obvious reason that springs to mind that I want to be different because I want to stand out and be special. I don't think this is the reason, because I can still be a normal person and be special in the same way.

I don't understand it. Maybe it's the loss of identity, like according to my mum I can be aspergers my whole life, then suddenly I'm cured and I'm the same as her and everyone else on the planet.

I feel these nameless negative feelings that I don't understand, I don't actually know what the feelings are, maybe fear/dread/despair.

Can anyone relate? Any comments on the subject are welcome, irrespectively. Also, I am fine with people criticizing me if they feel it is appropriate. I much prefer honest criticism to dishonest kindness.

I have asked some family and friends what was wrong with me (in the case with the friends, I have said there was something wrong, not really asking them). They all say the same thing. but I know better than that. "Nothing's wrong with you" eh? I'm not what you call normal. I'm not diagnosed as of yet and it's extremely hard to talk to my family of this entire aspie thing. Yet, knowing that this fits, I'd say there's something right with me.

unfortunately I am the only person who thinks that I am normal.

My mom always sorta plays me off as normal and I'm not a fruit. No offense to any one. She really doesn't like when I flap or get all sensory overload. She kinda thinks I have control. Honestly my closest friends have accused me of having ADD/ADHD for two years now. They always knew there was something diff about me. At first I kept it a secret but when teasing got bad I just said I have a form of autism.

Yes. Mostly my family too. Though members of my family let leak that they cannot understand me in moments of anger and distress and though they are aware of that I've been very different in my development than my peers, they insist that I am normal.

Since I know about my ASD, some teachers and so told me I cannot have AS/hf autism when I confronted them about it due to my inability to do a certain thing. I am presenting as very good in a 1 on 1 situation now that I'm older.

It's weird because nowadays people say they cannot imagine that I would ever have done the things I did as a child due to being a lot less functioning. But back then, in my childhood, people said they could never imagine me doing all the things that I am doing today. Back then I could never prove different to these people just as nowadays, people just will not believe me about the past.

There's so much irony in that.

People usually tell me that I'm NOT normal, but they never seem to guess or know why.

I've had a couple girlfriends (one in high school & one in college) who always managed to find ways - both implicit & explicit - to tell me that what I was feeling was "all in my head" and that everyone has problems, so get over it.

It wasn't so much that they didn't think I was "different" or "special" (AS was pretty much totally unknown back then) - but that they didn't believe me when I told them how I felt.

I think that many people are uncomfortable with the idea that their loved ones might not experience the world in the same way they do. I'm still apprehensive about the thought of telling my family that I have AS (they've known me for 50 years - I am the way I am, so how will they react when they are presented with a name for it?)

I don't want people to make a fuss over my differences, I just want them to accept that they exist. But I also think that people might have a difficult time with that. Differences must be "problems" - and problems need to be "fixed." AS isn't fixable - so the only way they can get by it is to tell themselves that I'm just like them. Unfortunately, that misses the point - and hurts my feelings.

This is kind of a different slant, but I am an NT Mother with a PDD-NOS son. I get the same thing with him. I hear things like "all kids do that", "he is fine", "you let him get away with murder", "make him eat this" etc. I get criticized all the time about my parenting because I allow him to eat what he will eat without forcing him to eat something he won't, and I won't starve him, and I don't always discipline (i.e. yell at, take away things etc) for things that I know are autism related and for things that he can't help. I do try to change routines, give him less control, allow him to hit without severe consequences because I am trying to work around his difficulties and be patient until he is old enough to better control his impulses and has the language to talk about things. It makes me angry because he is a really good kid, and very well behaved and it's unfair to him for people to have expectations of him that are unrealistic, and critical or judgemental with me because of the way I raise my child. Just because he can appear normal because of all of the hard work we have done doesn't mean he doesn't have specific challenges because of his neurology. It's hard, but just ignore those people. Be glad that your challenges are not significant enough to be apparant to everyone, and revel in your abilities that others do not have because of their NT brain. You're special, and unique. Screw them:wink: