Finally broke AS to my family.

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Forgive my scattered, depressive euphoria....
I was finally able to constructively talk to my family (dad in particular) about AS, and what it means in my life.
This conversation has been something like 10 years in the making.

Let me give you some context.
Up until now, my family had no idea that I had AS, and a very limited view of ASD's in general. They saw autism as an inclusive developmental disability, resulting in an individual who will most likely need care-taking for the rest of their lives.

Circumstances have forced the issue for me. I had been so reluctant to say anything until I was sure. AS explains my entire life, but I knew that my family was so skeptical. But things have come to a head. My living situation is intolerable. Things must change now, and I need help. I had to tell my family.

Tonight, in a flurry, I called up my dad and proceeded to just blurt it all out.
Told him that Asperger's is the key to everything, and here are 1000 reasons why.
I talked at him, in a straight crazy ranting drone, for almost 45 minutes. Then I apologized profusely for laying out so much weighty stuff all at once. But he stopped me and praised the necessity of my long, emotional monologue.

That was the difference.... HE GOT IT. HE UNDERSTOOD ME. He said, in reference to my troubles in high school and early college, "You know, we wondered what was wrong with you. We just didn't have a name for it..."

He said he would help me to get evaluated and seek a proper diagnosis, and with whatever needed to happen beyond that.

This is the blessing I've been seeking for so long.

I am almost without words.

so, um, here's this nonsense....
~*~**#*@*!**!*#*~*#@!*~#*@#@!*$*!
!*#@$!(^$@!($@!#@!^*#(*#(@^%^%&$!

i am very happy for you, my old friend Acacia.
it is very wonderful to hear of the support and the openness you speak of and i can only imagine it will be an incredibly validating experience that will increase in profundity as time goes on.

i am really pleased your dad was so open to it and so acknowledging of you, Acacia.

the sky's the limit.

(and i expect to get a personally autographed copy of your groundbreaking PHD in years to come....after you have blitzed your college course.)

gotta stop writing now as i want to be the first to congratulate you.

That's great! I was really nervous about telling my mum too, and it did take her a few days to give me any feedback about it.

You are so lucky. I would like to tell my family but I dont think they would accept the idea. I would love it if I did. They just think I am quirky and lack confidence. If only they knew.

wow- that's amazing- congratulations!! !! best of luck with everything in the future. must be sucha relief to know you have someone on your side!! !
ace!

That is GREAT! Hopefully he won't act like my mother! My mother will point out things about AS and autism, but STILL doesn't want to acknowledge that what I have been telling her for almost 40 YEARS is TRUE! She EVEN points out how I had a larger head when I was younger, and wasn't comfortable with certain fabrics as a kid. The obsessive interests were SO strong that EVERYONE knew about them! Teachers, friends, relatives, etc.... IT HAS A NAME! She STILL wants hugs, talks my ears off, complains about my not celebrating things. HELL, I don't celebrate my OWN birthday even!! !! She doesn't understand the thing about noise/light/preferences, etc.... So I have to try to treat her almost like I am an NT woman, even though I am AS and male. Males ARE supposed to, as a group, be more like I am than where she wants me to be.

I just told my mum and she didn't cope with is very well. It seems to have convinced her I need to be managed, nagged and continually instructed in how to be normal. And she's so sorry for herself I can't bear to have the subject raised. She also phones me every time Daniel Tammett is in the news and says what a pity I couldn't have been like him.

I'm glad your family are so supportive. Congratulations and best of luck!

I wonder how long it would have been for me to come to that same point if my parents hadn't sought out a diagnosis for me... Anyways, glad to hear you are moving forward.

Congratulations. You are lucky to have a family that is supportive and understanding. When I came out to my parents, I was met with anger and denial. The kicker, in my case, is that my family had actually known the entire time, and spent twenty years convincing themselves, the school, etc. that I was just 'gifted and misunderstood' (both of which are true statements, but do not capture the entire picture).

Acacia, you got my handshake somewhere else already

my first second tought at reading this was gosh,
what a senseless waste of time, all this unnecessary
not having addressed things earlier, and not even for reasons of secrecy, for nought than needless shame&hiding
gosh, may i never forgive myself for that


'kaysea, within the context of this thread, i suddenly
find myself wondering how to pronounce your nick

ZetecsAstronomy/[email protected]

I am very happy for you Acacia. Good for you. My father didn't react much when I told him I had AS---but he is kind of AS in a few ways. But he is more of the jock type and likes to socialize. My mother had a little problem accepting it. She has always seen me as perfect and normal. But AS is just a difference and not a disorder in my opinion. Now, Mom is very accepting of it and is helping me piece together things about my life and the possible genetic link of AS in our family. She realizes that the link comes from her side of the family. With her realizing this, she has become very interested in my research with it. I hope you are able to get your evaluation and diagnosis. I was personally relieved when it was determined I had AS. It explained my eccentric life. I used to think I was the only one like me in the world. Good luck.

So what is the exact definition of eccentric anyways?

1. deviating from the recognized or customary character, practice, etc.; irregular; erratic; peculiar; odd: eccentric conduct; an eccentric person. From the Greek ékkentros (out of center)

That's me... erratic, peculiar, and odd.

By the way, THANK YOU to everyone and your replies.

All I get is a picture in my head of a guy purposly acting crazy and without pattern to throw off an AI system, specificly like in this one book I read.

You're sort of right about that.
To be sure, I wasn't even aware of AS until about two months ago.
But I did hide it for that amount of time, anyways.
It was out of fear and uncertainty.
I'm just glad I didn't go for 10 years like that!

Wow, that's amazing, Congratulations . Reading that made me smile. I've told my mom (sort-of) about how I'm certain I must have it, but she had a stroke in '01 & doesn't really get it. She doesn't even get what Asperger's or autism is.