Sora wrote:
when I start to have a meltdown, I usually just can't help but start to hum, make some other ongoing sound and clasp my hands over my ears, close my eyes.
I have the exact same response. Usually I repeat "Hmm Hmm Hmm" in a monotone sound. Just humming. And I close my eyes, hands over my ears, and I rock back and forth rhythmically. Honestly, most people see this as classic autism style behavior to over stimulation. Sometimes I repeat a word over and over really low, I can remember I was 15 when I found out my grandmother had cancer, I rocked back and forth chanting "no" for a long time. And when I finally stopped, I started writing it on paper. I filled an entire notebook with the word "no." There was something soothing about the repetitiveness. And there still is to this day. Sometimes I still scribble and write words over and over on paper.
I have noticed though that if the high stress situation is something that I NEED to do something about, the reaction is different. Like, yesterday the bathroom door got locked by one of my kids. My 1 year old son was in there alone and the door was locked. Normally I'd take the coat hanger and pop the lock, no big deal. But for some reason it wasn't hanging where it was supposed to be. Suddenly I started to panic. My baby is in there, with a toilet full of water he could drown in. And I just couldn't focus my brain to think "Now whats next?" I did end up finding the coat hanger, but what I did was different. I still made the humming noises, but they were not quiet. They were louder. And while pacing and searching and trying to locate in my brain where the coat hanger could be, I was also flapping both hands frantically.
Most likely I looked pretty silly. My 10 year old refers to it as me "flipping out" or "having a spaz attack."
The humming, hands over ears and rocking thing? My family knows the first thing they should do is stop talking to me, and shut off anything that might be making any noise. Especially odd background noises like computers, the fan over the stove (oh that one drives me crazy!), the baby monitor left on, etc.. even if what triggered the overload wasn't auditory especially it can always help to minimize noise. (sometimes too many requests of, "honey what do you want me to get at the grocery store?" when I'm already absorbed in something else can trigger an overload meltdown)
Incidentally, our neighbors in a connected apartment had a fire a few months ago. I was able to get all four kids and myself out of the house in the middle of the night, in the freezing New England weather.. in wonderful time with ZERO meltdowns. It was an emergency situation and I didn't have time to stress over it. I just did what I had to do, and my autism did not impact my decisions in the least. (fire alarms going off and all) Later that night I found that I was pretty stressed out about it, and cried quite a bit though. Still, in the moment all was well. So I think for me, there are times when stress doesn't sink in. Adrenaline takes over maybe?