I boarded the bus last night

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And I sat down next to a young woman because there were no seats left with nobody sitting on either seat. Her body language instantly became petulant and resentful. So I sat on the edge of the seat and looked away from her the whole time.

Then I got bored and felt miserable so I got up and went to sit on a bunch of seats at the front of the bus facing the windows instead of the front so you can either look out the windows or towards the rest of the bus passengers.

Then every once in a while I'd look over at all the other bus passengers in bemusement thinking to myself why are they so scared? Do they really think there are that many criminals?

People like to have an empty seat next to them - it feels less crowded and they can put anything they're carrying on the other seat. She resented your doing something you had every right to do. I feel that way all the time although I hope I don't make anyone feel as unwelcome as you felt. It has nothing to do with thinking you're a criminal. She just wanted something she didn't have the right to ask for and was mad she didn't get it anyway.

Just my opinion.

Good point you make. All I can conclude is public transport shouldn't exist. People just don't like strangers that much.

Er, I'm perfectly content with public transportation, or else I'd be one stuck monkey

But yeah, people just have to have their own seats with their own space. I honestly don't think I'd feel that awkward about it, if people didn't make it so awkward That was pretty rude of her, to be so open about her space being violated or whatever. Meh, pay them no mind.

It's possible you misread her body language.

If there is a completely free seat, I will (selfishly) sit on the aisle seat, and sit my bag on my lap, hug it, and pretend to go to sleep.

I know, it is selfish.

If I sit down in an aisle seat next to someone else, I will do my best to sit as far away from them as possible without falling off the edge of the seat. I try not to be rude about it though. It's not hard. (Hopefully) it ends up just looking like "I'd like to give you your personal space" even though actually it's about keeping mine.

I know...
it is selfish.

I can't see myself participating in public transport. I did my time on school buses - that was sufficient. However, if it was unavoidable, I would use this strategy. Thanks.

Maybe she just felt nervous to be near someone she didn't know. I don't look at people who sit next to me if I don't know them or we don't start chatting. I might even give them a look that they might take as me resenting them, when I'm not. I just don't feel comfortable when an unknown person sits so close to me.

Glad I could help. I do not like public transport either, but driving is far, far worse. I would rather take a bus than drive. Not for lack of being pushed and shoved to drive, or for lack of license, either, because I have had all those.

To me, public transport is the lesser evil :)

Pensieve - For me (again) it is the toss up of two bad alternatives. If forced to I would rather sit next to a stranger (if I could just avoid them by going into my own world) than next to a friend that I had to make conversation with... Again I will shamelessly use the technique of being deeply absorbed in something like sleeping or music or studying if I see a friend come onto the bus. If they tap me on the shoulder I guess I have no option but to say hi... I agree though, Public transport is definitely stressful enough without strangers rubbing against you.

But here's the point. Most people who use public transport don't have Asperger's syndrome. They have adequate social skills. What right have they got to be sullen with me? They're not like you people, they don't want personal space because of having a different kind of mind. They're just being mean to me.

How do you know she doesn't have AS?

You don't have to have AS to want personal space. Plenty of NTs are uncomfortable sitting next to someone they don't know. Aspies don't have a monopoly on social anxiety or social awkwardness.

i do not use public transport any more, but when i used to use a bus, i did not sit on seats unless the whole row was empty. i usually tried to sit at the front of the bus (on the other side to the driver) so i could see uninterruptedly out of the front window. if there were no seats and i had to stand, i made sure i was not moved along toward the back when new people got on. if i was pushed along, i just squeezed my way back to the front as if i was getting off at the next stop.

if i was sitting in a row of seats and someone else sat next to me, i used to place my bag between me and them and cross my leg in the opposite direction. i always sat next to the window, and i always looked out. i never looked at what was happening inside the bus.

I don't like sitting next to people because I don't like to be touched.
and when your sitting so close to someone you arm bumps there arm and It is a sensory problem for me.

One thing I do notice is that no one look's anyone directly in the eyes. I noticed this right away and made a not not to do it either.

I don't know why your supposed to avoid looking at anyone. I find it stressful cause I don't know where to look. People look upset and sometimes scared when I look at them and I don't know why. people also glare at me for looking at them as if it is some form of insult.

Why is that?

Yeah. What can I say haha I hate how some people do that though they don't need it.

If you weren't autistic I'd totally glare at you or walk over to you and say 'excuse me, could I please have that seat'? just to annoy you.




Not really.

I don't know where you got that idea but truth is, in the northern hemisphere normal people demand roughly a distance of one arm length between them and strangers.

It varies a bit from country to country (lessens further south and grows larger further north), but the majority of people living in one country unknowingly agree on how large a distance to strangers is comfortable or uncomfortable.

That's exactly why people dislike to sit next to someone else on a bus. In the middle of Europe the width of seat is about the distance people feel is an adequate and comfortable one.

These personal boundaries are why there's a social rule that says you shouldn't come too closely to people.

Which some autistic people who don't know this or don't intuitively understand that rule or can't read body language adequately will come too close or keep too far away from other people.

I do not like strangers sitting next to me on the bus as I feel threatened. I know that most people in my town do not have the intelligence to know what AS is and would not nknow that I have it. I do not like getting on a bus as it is so overloading when people take their young children on and they start screaming or neurotypical teenagers acting like wild animals. I live in what is propably the most Asperger syndrome unfriendly town on Earth as I am always worried about harassment when I am out. I prefer to take a front seat on the bus. This is so people can't try to make I contact with me as I find this painful and intrusive.