i_wanna_blue wrote:
I often feel this way, when I go out. I usually go out by myself. I don't have anyone to talk to, or any group to associate myself with. Sometimes I feel imtimidated and overwhelmed by this, but most times I watch and see and try to figure how all the others made it to a level which I have yet to experience - being part of the herd....
I think this why I prefer being on my own, on my own.
So anyone else know how this feels?
I used to spend a lot of time envying those who are content without worrying about anything. My big thing was constant obsessing and worrying about all sorts of things, especially social things.
I often wondered to myself how people could go out, be at ease, and behave so spontaneously toward one another. I knew someone who could hug anyone and that was something I could never do. She even hugged me which was surprising because I am not what one would call "huggable". Have to admit I admire someone who can give me a hug without hesitation, especially if it's someone I don't mind being hugged by even though I feel sorta weird about being hugged in public like that by someone I only see while visiting a specific locale.
When I went out this is what I spent a lot of time thinking about: how others remain carefree.
Nowadays I don't feel intimidated about going out alone, unless I get stopped for a traffic violation, which is rare. I got stopped for not wearing my seatbelt and I thought that was a bit petty but, oh well. It was a small thing, but it rattled me a bit because I think about everyone else who does worse than that, like driving 65 mph on a street that has a 45 mph limit, it happens all the time on a nearby busy street yet it seems like it's tolerated.
So, besides that, I don't feel intimidated. One thing I never do is eat in a restaraunt alone. I cannot handle the thought of being surrounded by parties of more than one eating whilst me and maybe two other individuals there are eating by ourselves. I would rather take it home and eat instead.
So, most of the time, being alone isn't that big a deal.