"The Asperger's Stare"

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I think people learn (a bit) to not point out people's differences as they grow up. The first time I was told was by a little boy, I must have been 10, he was pestering me and annoying me (not proper bullying, or maybe it was but I didn't mind since I had a crush on him lol) , I looked up at him and our eyes met and he said "wow ok ok, I'll be good".................. I wasn't even mad.

I do it quite a lot
but I think it's "dissociation", not necessarily an aspie-thing.
just a defense mechanism for emotional overload.

Oh, I certainty have the stare!

My pet peeve, is when these moron NTs make snide remarks about me staring when I'm not even looking at someone!

The place where I work is sort of like a office setting, I have a fake job training program so I don't really "work there". I purposely sit sort of facing a wall or some other object to avoid to looking at people, which helps a lot.

I've improved a lot to not look at people, compared to when i first realized I stare at people, when I silp up, 9 times out of ten these dipshit NTs must make a sinde remark (Both Genders, but much more so with females) its extremely annoying.

I wish I was a Truck Driver or some job where human interaction is at a minimum, so my crappy life could be a little less crappy.

lol I sometimes want that too!
unfortunately I do not have a driving license.

Yeah i have it, but mainly when im deep inside my own head, switched off to anything else around me. then someone like my dad comes a long and says "stop falling asleep" im actually not asleep I am awake, Idk ive never actually seen the reflection of myself like this as its always at a computer screen., maybe one day illbe lucky enough to see myself when im like this. but other people have also noticed it and have no real idea what to make of it.
my Aspies friends who were diagnosed at a young age know exactly what im doing n just leave me be.

I do it badly, all the time.

I think part of people thinking I'm "staring" might be that I have to be looking *somewhere*, so it might very well be in their general direction.

When I'm "zoned out", I don't really notice things. I "see" them, but it's just kind of like they're irrelevant background noise. The problem is, just because I don't notice that I'm looking at somebody doesn't mean that he or she won't notice that I'm looking through them. Crowded public places make it worse, because then I'm likely to get overstimulated, withdraw, zone out in self-defense, and end up staring in some random direction at some random person.

I have a theory why aspie stares freak out NT people so badly. It's (AFAIK) totally unsubstantiated by hard research, but I'm convinced it's at least semi-plausible.

Due to the way your eyes work, they have to be in motion in order for visual stimulation to occur. However, there's more to "eye contact" than just looking in the right direction. When you make eye contact, you somehow *know* it beyond doubt. I think that what's happening is that the eye's scanning pattern is visible to others, and the scanning patterns of the two eyes change while "handshaking" to make it mutually obvious that the eyes have "locked on" to each other. Maybe an eye that thinks it senses the motion of another will alter its jitter rate by a few hertz, then when it senses the other eye has changed its own shift pattern, shift again and watch for a similar shift from the other eye in response.

Why is this relevant to Aspies? I think that when Aspies go into "blank stare mode", the handshaking protocol gets messed up (relative to NT norms). NTers look into our eyes, their brains sense the presence of human eyes and initiate the 'handshaking' pattern. Meanwhile, the zoned-out Aspie's brain somewhat recognizes the handshake attempt, but throws a curveball and launches into its own response that (to Neanderthals) might have been a protocol extension that implied, "I'm here, I'm busy, call back later". To someone without a Neanderthal heritage, the response either means nothing, or triggers the "WTF, something is seriously weird here!" subconscious alarm, and the NT'er goes sailing off into the Uncanny Valley.

If you want to prove the theory, conceal a 1" peephole somewhere non-obvious and camouflaged. Then bring people into the room who aren't expecting you to be hiding behind a peephole, and see how long it takes them to notice you. Chances are, if they're NT, it'll happen within a matter of seconds. Now replace yourself with a video camera in the same location, and repeat the experiment. You'll see very different results, guaranteed. There's something about an eye in motion, even one that's concealed amidst visual clutter, that makes it totally stand out from the background and be noticeable. To prove it's not just the appearance of an eye, replace the camera with something that has a realistic-looking eye, like the head of a mannequin with glass eyeballs. Same outcome -- lost in the visual clutter.

Last edited by dr01dguy on 03 Dec 2011, 2:12 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Is this the same stare as the, "I don't know what the f*** you're talking about" stare? I've been told this, and told I have a blank canvas look.

Most men have this problem. They stare rather than gaze.

Yes btw, I have a few of the stares described here....
There is the one you mention (staring straight, straight face, straight neck, waiting for a darn clarification à la Spock)
There is the "oops you just got out of focus let me fix you", in conversation, where you can feel yourself going and the person becomes blurry
There is the daydreaming stare
But I think this thread refers to the "PTSD stare"

I haven't read this whole thread. Has anyone mentioned the intense Dementor I'm going to suck out your soul stare?

that one?

I don't have a creepy stare, but people have told me I look spaced out... Everybody thinks I'm high.

haha sounds familiar!

I know right? It gets annoying after a while. I guess I don't help myself though with my rasta hat and hemp messenger bag, lol.

I had people say that a lot when I was a teenager.

I've had both the 'stoner' stereotype and people making vague comments about scary eyes. I hate that one. I'd rather people think I'm a stoner. I need to hurry up and get formally tested because stuff like that, people thinking you're a psycho, really hurts. Especially when deep down you're pretty much a softy but you just don't know how to share it with people.