DW_a_mom wrote:
OK. This is the deal, from an NT perspective. There is nothing you can do about people who choose to be mean. Yes, there are plenty of them, but it is not a majority in this world, just a very painfully destructive small group. The only thing to be done about them is to keep out of the path and give them freedom to self-destruct. So the focus turns to those who would be nice but misread your intentions because you don't know the social rules. THOSE interactions can be worked on and improved.
My son knows who I think he should just stay clear of, or take any issues with straight to the principals office. We can't solve their issues; they can't solve his; the common ground for getting along is pretty non-existent. So you press the ignore button, or go through offical channels when they insist on pressing through the ignore button. We identify those kids and people, and develop tactics for staying clear. I have to do that, too, as an NT; everyone does.
Your son is truly blessed. He is a lucky boy, to have been born in a time where teachers knew about ASDs. I wasnt so lucky. I was punished by teachers, not only for being bullied, (they thought I was too passive so the bullying was my fault, apparently) but also punished for verbal inappropriate statements I had made. I was so confused, I had no idea what was going on, why the school, and its staff, seemed to hate me. There was no knowledge whatsoever of AS.
So what I am saying is that, many people with ASDs have had an incredibly rough time. I didnt even know what was wrong until I was 25. 25 years of some good times, but a lot of misery, which were supposed to be the best years of my life.
Also for me, something I would like to have known, is that many of the people who bullied or rejected me were ordinary people. Not the minority of nasty to the bone people who are around. But I couldnt even get Joe/Josephine Average to like me.
I feel better now in many ways but the information age has been largely responsible for that
.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that people who are not on the spectrum need to remember that there are many people on WP with a lot of pain in their past, never dealt with, and a lot of unresolved issues.
_________________
"Caravan is the name of my history, and my life an extraordinary adventure."
~ Amin Maalouf
Taking a break.