Classic Aspie Moments. Share your own.

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My sister is better at pointing them out than I am. But one that comes to mind is that whenever my husband answers his cell phone I shout ot "Who're you talking to?" until he tells me. My sister pointed out that this is not socially acceptable.

When I was 14 I was obsessed with a man who I really hate now and I never think about him at all any more. But back then I used to tape myself talking about him, and I put music on the tape what came out the year I was obsessed with him (2004). The other day I got out the tape and decided to listen to the whole thing, and I was laughing at myself. I thought, ''why the hell was I so obsessed with him for? He was a weirdo, and I hate him now! Goes to show how immature most of us are at 14, compared to 20!'' And when I heard the 2004 hits, they really took me back to when I was 14, and I'm so glad that I've changed a bit since then. They remind me so much of those early naive teenage years, and as I listen to them I could actually see those days clearly in my mind. Then I feel so glad I'm past those years. Even for NTs 14 is a difficult age.

Today I was travelling by train and, like usually, I was totally absent-minded. I had very fast slide show in my mind (I think in pictures) and suddenly I said loudly ich bin mehr als Mensch (I'm more than a human). Then I realized that I spoke something. Woman sitting close to me went away.

My dad and I were getting some Mother's Day stuff and had gone through the till and were going to go to the fish and chip shop next to get our tea when I asked Dad what else I could get Mum and he said we could get her a fish (meaning for tea from the chippy) and I got annoyed and said 'but we've been through the till now' because in that moment I was thinking we were going to the fish counter to get a whole fish with all the scales on and present that to mum for Mother's Day.

At the end of my junior year in high school, I was trying to donate blood. First, they made me eat some crackers or something so that I wouldn't get anemic after the procedure. There were several other students seated near me eating. While I was eating, one of the workers told me to come over. I replied that I wasn't finished eating, and the kids sitting around me starting giggling.

I've lost count of the number of times I've embarrassed myself publicly by forming a crush on a girl only to find out later on that she's a lesbian.
Once, I can understand but to consistently pick the lesbian time after time - that's just weird, even for an Aspie.

I think it ties in with my inability to distinguish whether some people are male or female and my Prosopagnosia (face blindness).

Here’s a classic: No ToM

This took place when I was somewhere between 3 and 5. My mother and I were outside when I saw part of a fireworks on the ground. Its body was blue with drawings of yellow and red fireworks. I thought it had pretty colors, so I wanted to pick it up. I was told to leave it. Well, it was really pretty, I thought, so I snuck it in anyway. I wanted to hide it and knew I had to hide it in a place no-one would look. But where? Not in my room. That was an obvious place to look for something I had hid. I finally decided on a safe place, somewhere I would never look. Later that day my mother went into the kitchen cupboard. Sitting in a pot she found my fireworks, and promptly saw to it leaving the house.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I went back to check on it and found it was gone.

My wife said to me "Hey, you know that guy who X, Y and Z" and I said "No, I don't know him, do you?"

She had a good laugh (in a nice way) at that--and gave me that look that says 'Ah-ha! This is you, being an aspie.'

Of course, this was a topic-setting figure of speech. I normally get figures of speech, or perhaps I should say, I think I am normally quite good at perceiving figures of speech, but sometimes I just miss obvious things.

I was embarrassed, but also had to laugh.

This is a fun thread. Here are two aspie moments I had at work last summer. I was really nervous about the new job even though it was only for the summer and I got it though a summer employment program for people with ASD.

1. On the first day, being shown around the office:
Boss- "This is your desk ......Here's a list of co-workers to contact of you need anything....."
He proceeds to explain who I can contact for what purpose and puts the list on my desk. Then he picks up a red thumb tack from a near-by desk and hands the tack to me.
Boss- hands thumb tack to me "You can pin it up on the board here" indicates large cork board behind me
Me- pins red thumb tack (not list with thumbtack but just red thumb tack) on the cork baord -wonders why boss asked me to do this
There is a long awkward silence. The boss says nothing, I look at him, he still says nothing. Eventually he starts another sentence but I'm still thinking about the incident. I look down at the desk and see the list and reason out what he was actually asking me to do,pin the list on the board , it meant the list not the thumb tack ,with this thumb tack was implied so I interrupt him and apologize profusely and pin the list on the board.

2. I go up to my boss to inform him that I've completed X task and am ready for him to explain Y task. I step up to his cubicle and he is talking to someone. Normally I am to come to him and other superiors/ co-workers and ask for more tasks when I finish those assigned to me and he is often talking to somebody but will stop to give me my new task. He makes a couple of hand gestures which it takes me a moment to realize mean something like"wait a minute, stop, come back later". By the time I realize this I've already begun talking, saying the first syllable of the boss's name. I abruptly pick up the social cue and panic so I scream "oooh" and I mean actually shout it and then run away ,actually run, back to my cubicle.

Another recent one: My mum says "I'm sick of this" in regards to the T.V show she's watching while eating dinner. I'm finished eating at this point and had just gotten up from the table and am standing beside it. She puts out her hand and reaches and says "give it to me" and points at the other end of the table where there is a T.V. remote , a salt shaker , some paper towel and some ketchup. I absent-mindedly pick up the salt shaker and hand it to her and she says 'what? no! not that!" and laughs and so I say "oh" and hand her the paper towel and then she says "no, I meant the remote, sheesh"

edit-I forgot to mention that first my mum just stuck her hand out to communicate that she wanted the remote and I didn't do anything, I didn't understand what she wanted. Then she had to say "give it to me" and point at the remote. So that was actually two aspie moments in one.

@Hblu- I also get confused about whether people want high-fives, hand shakes , knuckle bumps ect.

I can never tell when someone wants a high five or a fist bump or handshake.They stick their arm out and I draw a total blank.
My thoughts
-Does he want to a salute?
-Maybe he's stretching?
-Does he want to show me something?
-is he giving me a sign of surrender?
-Maybe he wants to take an oath or make a pledge?

-why is this lasting so long?
-I can't believe I just did a research paper on Stalinism and I can't figure this out

Friend: "high five"?
Me:(gives awkward high five)

These are such awesome stories! Helps me not feel so alone in this NT world.

Two of mine: I have major face blindness... as in major...

1) About a month ago a lady at the store said "Hi! my name" ... I was with my life-partner. I just said "Hi.. this is 'name of my partner." The lady then introduced herself to my partner as so-and-so who works at my office in HR. <- me with no clue even though she says Hi to me every single day and I have to walk by her desk at least ten times a day.

2) One time I met my friend at the movies (we go a lot) and she was already in line. I was late but the ticket booth had not opened yet. I hate lines anyway and hate crowds and HATE confrontation. So I walked up to her, avoiding eye contact of the mass of strangers and especially one larger guy in a ball cap standing right behind my friend and just let her know we were there. She started talking to me and I was getting nervous because I could feel the guy behind me closing in the space a bit the more my friend talked (which kept going on as friends tend to do)... I was ready to run for my life. I had turned my back fully to the man in the ball cap by this point.
Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I jumped out of my skin. The man behind me started laughing and laughing. I turned around and looked right at him - clueless still as to who in the heck had just caused me to grow several grey hairs before their time.
It was my co-worker who I had worked with just about shoulder to shoulder on the same team for the last seven years (at that time - it has now been 14 yrs). Not just someone in another cubical, but a very tight work group (there were only 4 of us at the time). He still teases me about that.