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Does anyone forgive easily?

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daspie
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01 Apr 2011, 10:42 am

Tequila wrote:
No, not especially. Apart from family. Anyone else pisses me off enough they (mostly) get cut out of my life.

This strategy should be applied to relatives and friends in case the offense is slight but persistent. If the offense is life changing or real bad then one should take appropriate revenge and that might require one to pretend to be still nice with them.



daspie
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01 Apr 2011, 10:45 am

Babs01 wrote:
No one can make someone 'feel' something that the other didn't believe(which may albeit be incorrectly) was true. Propaganda plays with our heads if we start believing in it's parameters. There is no such thing as 2nd class in my world! And every one lives in this world! If someone else believes in 'classes', then it is a choice they can make...it doesn't make it true for any other but themselves.

We are who we believe we are. One must be careful when listening to others in this regard, as all things are seen from different perspectives.

Listen deep in your heart. You know you're not a second class citizen.

To understand your social position one needs to understand what others think about you and not just what you think about yourself :).



Pandora_Box
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01 Apr 2011, 10:49 am

I am not the type of person to forgive easily. Actually I only have two major labels:

Friend or Foe

Either you're on my side or not. There is no in between and if someone ruins something, they can turn into foe real quick.



Babs01
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01 Apr 2011, 10:51 am

daspie wrote:
Tequila wrote:
No, not especially. Apart from family. Anyone else pisses me off enough they (mostly) get cut out of my life.

This strategy should be applied to relatives and friends in case the offense is slight but persistent. If the offense is life changing or real bad then one should take appropriate revenge and that might require one to pretend to be still nice with them.


Really bad requires authorities to come into the situation. One still doesn't need to 'even' things out. I believe something similar to karma is a beautiful thing if left to its own devices. I don't have to be part of it.



Zen
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01 Apr 2011, 11:00 am

I think Babs is very wise.



Babs01
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01 Apr 2011, 11:02 am

daspie wrote:
Babs01 wrote:
No one can make someone 'feel' something that the other didn't believe(which may albeit be incorrectly) was true. Propaganda plays with our heads if we start believing in it's parameters. There is no such thing as 2nd class in my world! And every one lives in this world! If someone else believes in 'classes', then it is a choice they can make...it doesn't make it true for any other but themselves.

We are who we believe we are. One must be careful when listening to others in this regard, as all things are seen from different perspectives.

Listen deep in your heart. You know you're not a second class citizen.

To understand your social position one needs to understand what others think about you and not just what you think about yourself :).


My siblings thought us to be poor financially. So they hung around people they believed to be in the correct 'social' class. I saw us to be rich. (I rate poverty and richness according to the amount of love one has). I spoke to all people and treated them as equals. I ended up being around people who where interested in intelligent things. Those people just happened to be children of judges and lawers. Now there where pompous toochies in the bunch, but most where just like you and I, human. They saw everyone as equals. Sometimes its those who have believed the lie that can create a problem. I don't know the situation you refer to, so I won't comment. But there are a lot of people out there. If one is able, sometimes, it's more 'productive' to just walk away. People have a way of 'feeding' off other peoples' energy. Any reaction to them is something they can mess with. No reaction, makes the target loose it's appeal.



Babs01
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01 Apr 2011, 11:04 am

Pandora_Box wrote:
I am not the type of person to forgive easily. Actually I only have two major labels:

Friend or Foe

Either you're on my side or not. There is no in between and if someone ruins something, they can turn into foe real quick.


What happens if you change you perspective and are on the other side?



Babs01
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01 Apr 2011, 11:30 am

Zen wrote:
I think Babs is very wise.


I'm not wise. I've just found that I can't always count on my mind. It flows in and out of thinking. My heart on the other hand, once I convinced it that I would value the information giving, has served me very well. I doubt my heart is any more...or less wise then any others'. I believe the world to be a grand place once everyone begins to truly listen, with out fear, to their own hearts.



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01 Apr 2011, 11:32 am

Aspiewordsmith wrote:
I don't forgive. My experiences most NTs see forgiving as a weakness and like a licence to repeat the offending behaviour.


Forgive an error, but never forgive evil.

ruveyn



Babs01
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01 Apr 2011, 11:45 am

ruveyn wrote:
Aspiewordsmith wrote:
I don't forgive. My experiences most NTs see forgiving as a weakness and like a licence to repeat the offending behaviour.


Forgive an error, but never forgive evil.

ruveyn


To forgive requires courage. To release ~allows 'evil' to be lost in the death of the past. Keep the lessons learned, but not the means. There are NTs and Autistics that see forgiving as a weakness, but that is only because they fear the 'unknown'. Holding on to others' garbage can prevent us from crossing new thresholds simply because we can't fit. Don't be alluded, those who pass on the belief about forgiving being a sign of weakness are quite simply too afraid to put down their bags of garbage. I think it has to do with 'comfort zones' or 'creatures of habit'. But I'm not sure/



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01 Apr 2011, 12:15 pm

nemorosa wrote:

You two are getting confused. TeaEarlGreyHot misread Nostromos as "Nostradamus". Incidently, Nostradamus was not quite a full shilling.


Oops! lol


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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01 Apr 2011, 12:18 pm

Tequila wrote:
No, not especially. Apart from family. Anyone else pisses me off enough they (mostly) get cut out of my life.


This is how I am, but there is no exception made for family. Their behavior has to be pretty destructive, though.


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twinsmummy20
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01 Apr 2011, 3:01 pm

My husband forgives insanely easily. I could do anything to him (I wouldnt!) and he would forgive me in a heart beat! He has told me through general discussion about infidelity that I could cheat on him and he wouldnt leave me.



twinsmummy20
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01 Apr 2011, 3:02 pm

My husband forgives insanely easily. I could do anything to him (I wouldnt!) and he would forgive me in a heart beat! He has told me through general discussion about infidelity that I could cheat on him and he wouldnt leave me.



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01 Apr 2011, 3:48 pm

twinsmummy20 wrote:
My husband forgives insanely easily. I could do anything to him (I wouldnt!) and he would forgive me in a heart beat! He has told me through general discussion about infidelity that I could cheat on him and he wouldnt leave me.


And if you had sex with a farm yard animal?

I am the great sun, but you do not see me,
I am your husband, but you turn away.
I am the captive, but you do not free me,
I am the captain but you will not obey.

I am the truth, but you will not believe me,
I am the city where you will not stay.
I am your wife, your child, but you will leave me,
I am that God to whom you will not pray.

I am your counsel, but you will not hear me,
I am your lover whom you will betray.
I am the victor, but you do not cheer me,
I am the holy dove whom you will slay.

I am your life, but if you will not name me,
Seal up your soul with tears, and never blame me.



twinsmummy20
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01 Apr 2011, 3:56 pm

Surfman wrote:
twinsmummy20 wrote:
My husband forgives insanely easily. I could do anything to him (I wouldnt!) and he would forgive me in a heart beat! He has told me through general discussion about infidelity that I could cheat on him and he wouldnt leave me.


And if you had sex with a farm yard animal?

I am the great sun, but you do not see me,
I am your husband, but you turn away.
I am the captive, but you do not free me,
I am the captain but you will not obey.

I am the truth, but you will not believe me,
I am the city where you will not stay.
I am your wife, your child, but you will leave me,
I am that God to whom you will not pray.

I am your counsel, but you will not hear me,
I am your lover whom you will betray.
I am the victor, but you do not cheer me,
I am the holy dove whom you will slay.

I am your life, but if you will not name me,
Seal up your soul with tears, and never blame me.


I would never do anything to my husband, we will be married forever. It was completely hypothetical and I know that and I hope he knows that!