This video is just disgraceful to the autistic community.

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19 Dec 2011, 5:31 pm

You're comparing apples to oranges.

People empathize with caregivers who have to take care of handicapped and/ or elderly parents on a day to day basis with little or no help. And, on some level, they understand how it can push them over the edge to the brink of destruction.

Mind you, i do not agree with a lot of things BUT i have understanding.

TheSunAlsoRises

TheygoMew
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19 Dec 2011, 5:40 pm

How am I comparing apples to oranges when I am comparing one child to another child?

So we're that different that it's like an honor killing? :roll:

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19 Dec 2011, 5:45 pm

Quote:

No one wants to have a disabled child.

This is true. It is normal for parents to want their children to be perfect, and that so many people take it for graunted that their children will be neurotypical and will just have a ''normal'' sort of childhood life through school and so on, so practically every parent gets caught up in thinking that. Although the true saying is ''nobody's perfect'', but you know what I mean. And when the child is born disabled, the parents will (or should) always love him or her the same whether the child was born disabled or not.

But before the child is born, people don't think about whether the child will have a disability or not. My parents never thought that. My brother was born first, and was a typically developing child, and started school well, then I came along and was a typically developing toddler, which was what my parents probably took for graunted - until the day I started school, which didn't go as expected, which gave my parents a shock and from then onwards had to find out with doctors and psychiatrists what was wrong, and it was very stressful for my parents, and my mum was very emotional. Then came all the heartbreak when I got to high school and got depressed because I was lonely and didn't have any friends at school, because my mum didn't want me to be in a lonely state, and neither did I. And it was more hard for her because she didn't really have any other parents to relate to, since every parent she knew had neurotypical kids, and most just thought I was delibrately alienating myself from other kids, and they also thought that my mum was being overprotective. But it wasn't that at all. It was my lack of ability to socialise normally and be able to fit in and make friends - which is nobody's fault. But it must have been hard for my mum.

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19 Dec 2011, 5:56 pm

TheygoMew wrote:

How am I comparing apples to oranges when I am comparing one child to another child?

So we're that different that it's like an honor killing? :roll:

Taking the life of any child is beyond tragic.

However, society does take into consideration 'why' and 'how' an event may occur.

Do you know how many parents have probably been at the brink of doing similar things and by the grace of god, they found strength enough to resist ? Parents like the one i speak of, don't condone the senseless killing of a child, they shed a tear for both parent and child. Often-times, they reserve judgement because it could have been them.

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19 Dec 2011, 6:05 pm

I'm going to be honest. At first I was quite disheartened by the thought of my son having Autism. I had certain visions of his childhood and adulthood and it became obvious they did not match reality. However, after losing my daughter to a terminal disorder (Spinal Muscular Atrophy) I realized that all my visions and plans for his future were frankly BS. (Am I allowed to swear?). It really puts things into perspective and shows everybody what is important in life. I hate this video and I don't understand how anyone can feel this way about their precious, living, breathing child.

Also, MY visions and plans for my son's future are not important to begin with. He is his own person and will live his own life.

Is life all rainbows and marshmallows and roses? No, but it's LIFE.

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19 Dec 2011, 6:16 pm

I like the video. Like I said, it's a bit tame for my taste.

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19 Dec 2011, 6:32 pm

How do these parents know, for sure, that their autistic kids can't hear or understand them? Just because the autistic kids aren't very good at expressing themselves doesn't mean they're not taking information in. I'm trying to see where the parents are coming from, but it's a hard thing to do. If I were in the parents' situation, I don't know how I would feel. Maybe I would be more accepting of having an autistic child since I'm autistic myself. Maybe I would be angry about my circumstances. I don't get why the video only showed autistics on the very low end of the spectrum. How about the views expressed by parents of moderately-functioning or higher-functioning autistics/people with Asperger's?

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19 Dec 2011, 6:41 pm

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:

I like the video. Like I said, it's a bit tame for my taste.

TheSunAlsoRises

What would you rather it have?

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19 Dec 2011, 6:46 pm

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:

TheygoMew wrote:

How am I comparing apples to oranges when I am comparing one child to another child?

So we're that different that it's like an honor killing? :roll:

Are you talking about just any child and how many parents have been on the brink of murdering that child or are you just talking about an autistic child? Raising children is hard work and there are cases of parents murdering their own flesh and blood minus autism because they were under alot of stress but those parents don't get a victim status nor do they get little to no sentence.

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19 Dec 2011, 7:15 pm

SyphonFilter wrote:

How do these parents know, for sure, that their autistic kids can't hear or understand them? Just because the autistic kids aren't very good at expressing themselves doesn't mean they're not taking information in. I'm trying to see where the parents are coming from, but it's a hard thing to do. If I were in the parents' situation, I don't know how I would feel. Maybe I would be more accepting of having an autistic child since I'm autistic myself. Maybe I would be angry about my circumstances. I don't get why the video only showed autistics on the very low end of the spectrum. How about the views expressed by parents of moderately-functioning or higher-functioning autistics/people with Asperger's?

Apply what I'm about to say below to Autistic Children as well.

IF the Highest functioning Autistic Adult(s) are allowed to SOLELY represent Autism; the services needed across the spectrum will not come to fruition. The debate will digress into what constitutes disabilities and what constitutes differences. Unfortunately, our society does not fund, support, and protect groups for simply being different. The laws are specific concerning who and how someone falls under certain categories. Our society tells Adults that appear healthy to either get a job, go to college or both. Misunderstood sensory issues, social issues, and behavioral issues are placed in the categories of "get over it", everyone has problems" or "i don't believe you because you look fine." As a consequence, in order to get your problems taken seriously, there has to be a representative who shows visible signs of those issues. And, take one guess, who that might be ?

I would like to see a series showing Autistic people( across the spectrum) on their best day, a typical day, and their worst day. And, i can just about guarantee you THAT the similarities will be striking.

TheSunAlsoRises

Last edited by TheSunAlsoRises on 19 Dec 2011, 7:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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19 Dec 2011, 7:23 pm

TheygoMew wrote:

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:

I like the video. Like I said, it's a bit tame for my taste.

TheSunAlsoRises

What would you rather it have?

I would have liked to have seen more night footage, more family outtings, and more fathers involved.

I want to see another representation that is just as prevalent.

Working class people, unemployed, caring for elderly parents with atleast one child that has Kanners Classic Autism.

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19 Dec 2011, 7:30 pm

Every child is a gift from God and that's why I'd rather have a disabled child than no child at all. I'd rather that disabled people live than be aborted. Hitler has done more harm than good and that's why Autism Speaks exists. I have more than one disability. I have autism and a certain type of incontinence. I'm happy to be alive. I also get out as much I can.

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19 Dec 2011, 7:37 pm

TheygoMew wrote:

TheSunAlsoRises wrote:

TheygoMew wrote:

How am I comparing apples to oranges when I am comparing one child to another child?

So we're that different that it's like an honor killing? :roll:

I'm talking about children with disabilities (physical and mental) and i'm talking about elderly parents with disabilities (physical and mental). Basically, what I'm trying to tell you, is that this issue is NOT simply ABOUT children with Autism. Again, i do NOT condone such behavior BUT I'm not beyond comprehending IT.

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19 Dec 2011, 8:16 pm

Guineapigged wrote:

Oh, please. Let's not be wishy-washy here; by "low functioning" I mean individuals who in a previous generation would have been termed "mentally redarded" and put in an institution. I'm talking about people who are too low functioning to use wrongplanet.net.
I, too, may never live independently - but I'm astute enough to know that there's a huge different between me not being able to live independently because I burn food sometimes and forget to wash, and a severely autistic individual not being able to live independently because they need 24/7 supervision and intensive care.

I'm not being wishy-washy. I dislike functioning labels, but I used them in my response because you used them. But even so, I don't like them and this is why:

Quote:

Because of the assumption that someone labeled as low-functioning is incapable of a long list of things whether or not they are actually capable of some of those things. Also the assumption that someone labeled as high-functioning is capable of a long list of things whether or not they are actually capable of some of those things.

It's not that anyone denies that there's a range of severity, but the idea that it's a smooth spectrum where you can easily categorize someone as high functioning and determine that they are supposed to be capable of all kinds of things, or someone else as low functioning and determine that they are supposed to be incapable of all kinds of things.

These assumptions can be fairly difficult to deal with. Yesterday there was a four-five page thread in which a few posters laid out things that they said that someone diagnosed with AS should be able to do - some of which I find extremely difficult without assistance. Last week, my therapist told me I was too high-functioning to receive certain kinds of assistance that would be a huge help to me. Do I need those services? I don't really know how badly I need them, but I do know that a lot of doors are closed to me, service-wise, because it is assumed that I am capable of a lot of things that I have a lot of difficulty with. (Note: This quote is five months old. More recently, that same therapist suggested I needed support staff to live independently)

I've also seen people confidently assert that people who would be classified as low-functioning couldn't possibly post on a forum like this - sometimes in the same thread that another poster who would be classified by many as low-functioning - posted in earlier.

I don't really agree with labels as they are often used, although I don't really try to stop people from using them (and I use them myself if they're the best way to say something I can think of). I do agree that severity is important to acknowledge so that people can get necessary services or assistance. I do not think they are meaningless, nor do I think there's no difference between someone diagnosed with mild Asperger's Syndrome and someone diagnosed with severe autism. I just wish that the label didn't always come with specific assumptions about abilities.

I even posted this yesterday morning:

Quote:

And you see that a lot here - a lot of posters like to speak up "on behalf of" low functioning autistic people, and characterize them as incapable of any form of communication, or even an ability to understand other people exist. This is despite the fact that this is at odds with what people who would be described as LFA have actually said about themselves when they've learned to communicate (through typing, or using other forms of augmented or facilitated communication).

I didn't say that I had the same needs as someone with more severe autism. My point was that you were creating a false dichotomy by placing particular traits at the "low functioning" side of things, in terms of consequences that others in this thread may very well also experience, even though we don't have the same severity and thus perhaps the same reasons.

Also, that bolded bit? You're making exactly the same mistake that many others make. You're defining a group of autistic people as being unable to speak for themselves under any context and speaking for them. Except you're doing so while berating others for allegedly speaking for them. Is it really necessary to tokenize them to make your point? Are you really taking moral high ground here?

Last edited by Verdandi on 19 Dec 2011, 9:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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19 Dec 2011, 8:21 pm

MrXxx wrote:

Until then, I don't want to hear it. Ask questions if you like, but DON'T tell me that just because I say it's hard, I'm a horrible parent.

There's a difference between "It's hard" which I am sympathetic to and "I wish I could kill my daughter[/i] which I cannot sympathize with.

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19 Dec 2011, 8:24 pm

TheygoMew wrote:

When parents kill normal children, there is sympathy for the children.

When parents kill autistic children, the stories talk about the suffering of the parent and there is no sympathy for the dead child.

Read the comments...
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/infamous-cas ... u-cd1aXd1k

Read the comments...

http://www.imperfectparent.com/topics/2 ... of-murder/

Thank you for linking these.

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This video is just disgraceful to the autistic community. Post Reply New Topic

This video is just disgraceful to the autistic community.