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Why do you find the word "ret*d" offensive?

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CyclopsSummers
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31 Dec 2012, 8:08 am

Janissy wrote:
I found the same thing. If you say "that's a stupid idea" people will interpret it as "only a stupid person would think up that idea". But if you say "that's a bad idea" people will not take it personally and the discussion will stay focused on the idea itself. People don't think you are calling them a bad person if you say their idea is bad.


Yes indeedy, I think it's because the word 'idea' has an inherent aspect of 'thinking prowess' to it. When people hear 'That's a stupid idea', or 'that's a foolish idea', it's interpreted as a judgment of their intelligence. 'Foolish idea'--->'It's an idea born of folly' ---> 'Only a fool would think of that idea', as you pointed out above. Same with 'stupid', where the idea will have been 'born of stupidity'.

Whereas 'bad' casts no judgment on the intelligence of the person coming up with the idea. It casts judgment on the idea itself, and on the feasibility of its realisation.


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League_Girl
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31 Dec 2012, 12:49 pm

And people don't interpret that as you calling them a bad person if you say "that's a bad idea." Doesn't make any sense.


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31 Dec 2012, 5:37 pm

I know, it makes no sense. Sometimes "bad idea" gets defensive reactions, but not like "stupid idea" does.

I am still learning that there are bad ways and good ways to tell someone their ideas are wrong, and with some people there simply is no way to do it because they can't handle the fact that they're wrong about something.