Things you used to believe

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As funny and great as this sounds it's probably an urban myth. A very similar story came out years ago about a parking attendant in Bristol Zoo , the story went viral but sadly was not true.

You can , it is known as 5 fingered discount ( joke )

I thought walking in a thunderstorm was very dangerous because I didn't realize that the chances of getting struck by lightning you had a higher chance of winning the lottery.

As a child I was very curious and confused about the existence of belly-buttons: no one really ever explained what it was or why it was there, so I made up my own truth about it. I became convinced that because no one wanted to talk about it, it was a sign I had some terribly dangerous stomach problem.

My mom had a boss that did that and she caught him one time but thought it was a lot of stuff he bought so she didn't say anything. Most people would have gotten suspicious and reported it. He did get caught eventually so someone else must have seen him taking stuff and reported it. He would fill his van with a bunch of stuff and take it somewhere and when he got caught, it turned out he had been stealing from other stores he managed and selling it illegally and he went to jail. If he had only stuck with one item, he might have gotten away with it but if he did it all the time then probably not. This was before they had surveillance cameras.

I used to think that the BAR exam was a test people for potential bar tenders.

When my mom would take me to the store and ask me to choose breakfast cereal, it was a dilemma. I was afraid if I chose one breakfast cereal over the other, I would cause the respective mascot of the unchosen cereal to cry. E.g., Sugar Bear would start crying if I chose Captain Crunch.

I thought I could reach into the television and enter the actors' world. I tried to look for different ways to get into the TV, e.g., looking at different angles.

I used to think that the leading cause of death in America was getting sucked into a tornado.

I thought if you did a murder as a juvenile, they would wait until you are an adult to execute you. I didn't know they go by how old you are at the time of the crime when they give out a sentence. So if you committed a crime and it took them four years to convict you and you were now over 18, they wouldn't sentence you to death because of your age at the time of the crime. Though it used to be 16 when I was a kid depending on what state you were in but they got rid of capital punishment for 16 and 17 year olds in 2005. But yet they still try them as adults which will never make sense unless it's about giving them mental treatment and to continue giving them mental treatment when they are over 18. That is like a loop hole in the law they do by playing the system.

I remember worrying all the time that my mother would die. But then I heard of a funeral home and thought if we got her there before she died, she would be okay. But the catch was she wouldn't be able to leave the funeral home but my dad and I could go visit her.

This wasn't so much something I believed as it was a lack of understanding of circumstance and perspective, but when I was in middle elementary school I wondered if I would marry one of the boys in my class. I tried to imagine it and didn't like what I saw in my mind. The reason I thought I would have to marry a boy in my class if I were to marry was that I couldn't imagine where else I would meet a boy

Perhaps it'll make more sense if I tell a story.

When I was 10, our class was having a discussion about ethics. This led to discussion about the food industry. One girl said: "My brother has autism, and he's 16. He can't have gluten, and we can only order certain foods."

And then another girl said, "My brother is also 16 and has autism."

The next time I heard someone talk about their autistic relative was 1 year later. A boy said: "I have 2 nephews who are older than me. The 16 year old has autism."

And so I believed from now on when I hear about someone's autistic relative, they'll say that the autistic relative is 16.

Or maybe I just secretly hoped that I can set some sort of world record for "Consecutively Finding Out Someone's Autistic Relative is 16".

The next one I heard about was 9.

If the tornadoes don't gecha, the flying monkeys DO!

That doesnt follow logically. It IS kinda dangerous, to tempt fate by walking around on .say, a golf course during a thunder storm.

The odds of you being hit by a car as a pedestrian during a given year is slim (like one in a billion) ,but that doesnt mean that its a good idea to run blind folded across the Washington D.C. Beltway at rush hour!

Last edited by naturalplastic on 01 Apr 2017, 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

before i could read,
"speed limit" was "speed lemon",
"treadmill" was "threadmilk",
"sunglasses" were "sunplaces",
"lawn mower" was "lawn moater",
"grocery store" was "crossery store",
etc.

a lot of my language was like this until i could read and then i felt really stupid. i used to believe even the ones that didn't make any sense at all were just named that randomly.

I understood the meaning of quite a few phrases before understanding the words. When my mother would shout "Keep it down to a dull roar!" my older sister knew to make less noise or shush me. Years later, I finally understood the sarcasm, etc.
I once gave a ride to a teenager who hadn't understood that 60 MPH means that it will take an hour to travel 60 miles. He was making wild guesses about our arrival time.