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Are you proud of having Asperger's?

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Lecks
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30 Sep 2010, 1:01 pm

glider18 wrote:
There are two types of pride that we can look at here. One is the type people often see as "bad" like with overinflated egos or "I'm better than you." Then there is the second type that I use for saying, "I am proud of having Asperger's." What this type of pride means is a satisfaction of who we are. So...what I am saying is, "I have satisfaction in having Asperger's." That is what many people see as the "good" type of pride.

The problem is that the second "definition" isn't pride at all. You can be happy or content that you have Asperger's, but not proud.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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30 Sep 2010, 1:07 pm

By being proud I mean I am not ashamed to have AS. I don't long to be the "NT" type, either. People might interpret this as smugness, since, in our culture, we value fixing what we are convinced is broken. It's seen as humbleness if we think we have a problem and are working on correcting it. It seems like no one is supposed to be happy with who they are and proud of the fact they don't require any self help.

I would rather just be happy with myself the way I am and for others to feel the same about themselves.



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30 Sep 2010, 1:59 pm

Lecks wrote:
glider18 wrote:
There are two types of pride that we can look at here. One is the type people often see as "bad" like with overinflated egos or "I'm better than you." Then there is the second type that I use for saying, "I am proud of having Asperger's." What this type of pride means is a satisfaction of who we are. So...what I am saying is, "I have satisfaction in having Asperger's." That is what many people see as the "good" type of pride.

The problem is that the second "definition" isn't pride at all. You can be happy or content that you have Asperger's, but not proud.


It is pride by definition Lecks. Here it is quoted as it is understood by professionals:

"A common understanding of pride is that it results from satisfaction with meeting the personal goals set by oneself."

And another professional definition taken from the dictionary.

"Pride---Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association."

And from the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary:
"pride a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction that you get when you or people who are connected with you have done something well or own something that other people admire: The sight of her son graduating filled her with pride."

This is the pride I am referring to---a satisfaction with oneself.


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30 Sep 2010, 2:41 pm

Aspergers, like everything on earth, has a good and bad side. Like water for instance, it's good when you use it to drink, take a shower, or water plants. Its bad when it's dirty and not fresh, or if you live near a beach or a river, it can turn into a flood or come in a form of a storm surge or Tsunami. That's life for you my friend whether you have Aspergers or not, you're still going to have to ride that roller coaster. As for me, since I find out that everyone in life has ups and downs, I figured that I can just accept it and go through the trials.


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30 Sep 2010, 3:59 pm

glider18 wrote:
Lecks wrote:
glider18 wrote:
There are two types of pride that we can look at here. One is the type people often see as "bad" like with overinflated egos or "I'm better than you." Then there is the second type that I use for saying, "I am proud of having Asperger's." What this type of pride means is a satisfaction of who we are. So...what I am saying is, "I have satisfaction in having Asperger's." That is what many people see as the "good" type of pride.

The problem is that the second "definition" isn't pride at all. You can be happy or content that you have Asperger's, but not proud.


It is pride by definition Lecks. Here it is quoted as it is understood by professionals:

"A common understanding of pride is that it results from satisfaction with meeting the personal goals set by oneself."

And another professional definition taken from the dictionary.

"Pride---Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association."

And from the Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary:
"pride a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction that you get when you or people who are connected with you have done something well or own something that other people admire: The sight of her son graduating filled her with pride."

This is the pride I am referring to---a satisfaction with oneself.



pretty much that's what I was trying to say.



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03 Oct 2010, 11:38 am

I am, because it's what makes me me



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03 Oct 2010, 6:51 pm

I am proud of overcoming the difficulties I face, and the coping mechanisms I've developed, but I'm not proud of whatever I have.



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03 Oct 2010, 7:33 pm

No whatsoever.



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03 Oct 2010, 7:42 pm

ajlposh wrote:
I am, because it's what makes me me



this, love it.



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03 Oct 2010, 7:54 pm

I haven't read all of the nine pages of posts so forgive me if I say something that has already been said. I am not proud to have Asperger's as I feel that to have pride in something I need to have done something/accomplished something. I have Asperger's and I am not ashamed of that as once again, there is nothing I have done that caused my AS.
I am, however, proud of what I have been able to accomplish in my life in spite of, and in some cases because of my AS.



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03 Oct 2010, 8:06 pm

websister wrote:
I haven't read all of the nine pages of posts so forgive me if I say something that has already been said. I am not proud to have Asperger's as I feel that to have pride in something I need to have done something/accomplished something. I have Asperger's and I am not ashamed of that as once again, there is nothing I have done that caused my AS.
I am, however, proud of what I have been able to accomplish in my life in spite of, and in some cases because of my AS.


well just remember that you've been dealt certain "cards" in life, and you can either feel sorry for yourself, or use those cards to your advantage; I'm proud to be using them to my advantage.



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03 Oct 2010, 9:08 pm

I'm proudly celebrating my differences, right now. :)


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03 Oct 2010, 9:39 pm

Well I dont mind telling people I have Asperger's because at least there is a reason behind the flaws with myself that I cannot fix.

But I fail to see the pride in getting b****ed at by society everyday for being slow minded, not understanding what one means when they want this or that, for messing up the little things, being teased or insulted by other people who feel victimized when you return the favor in kind, and living in a society that solely depends on being able to socialize with people in order to get you a job.

If that's pride then I have no idea how the rest of you do it.



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04 Oct 2010, 2:01 am

raisedbyignorance wrote:
Well I dont mind telling people I have Asperger's because at least there is a reason behind the flaws with myself that I cannot fix.

But I fail to see the pride in getting b****ed at by society everyday for being slow minded, not understanding what one means when they want this or that, for messing up the little things, being teased or insulted by other people who feel victimized when you return the favor in kind, and living in a society that solely depends on being able to socialize with people in order to get you a job.

If that's pride then I have no idea how the rest of you do it.



Probably because you haven't learned how to use it to your advantage yet. Believe me: you can use society's behaviors to your advantage, whether you behave that way or not.

Y'know, one thing that destroyed my mother was that she was always worrying "what if he/she looks down at me for saying this/that at this/that given time?"

I work around it--and even my girlfriend and my Dad know this--by basically telling myself "they will look down at me for doing this/that. That's completely inevitable...and there's nothing I can do about it. So.....why should I care? Let them look down at me; let them think they're as superior as they want. Are they really?" :wink:

Bottom line: you just stop caring what everyone else thinks, and you prosper at levels you never thought possible because of it. I now have a level of self-confidence I never thought existed because of it. You expect it to happen, and when it doesn't happen, you're very impressed--though admittedly mildly suspicious at times. Nonetheless, you expect the bad to happen, and either what you expect will happen--and you've already got a plan for that, or what you expect won't happen, and you can enjoy it :)



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04 Oct 2010, 4:21 pm

I expect bad things to happen because they do happen for me. I'm just one of those people who get given bad luck all the time, no matter how nice I am to people. I never got bullied until I was 19, because I had made some friends in college, and one came across as literally simple, and the other one came across as really loud and confident but had social problems. (Yes, you can be really outgoing and loud but with social problems too, and my mum says that's worse than being nice, sweet and shy with social problems, and I know what she means). And another one came across as rough and mouthy and sounded like she had been brought up in a very insecure household. And the other was on drugs. They all seemed nice in college, but when we all left they started spending time together without me, then when I started asking them why they didn't want me any more, it reduced me down to bullying, and I actually knew that they would end up bullying me some day, but I was just telling my conscience to stop bothering me.

Now I will think twice the next time my conscience kicks in. So no - I'm not proud of having AS because it has caused my nothing but bad luck all my life. I've never even found a piece of money on the ground. Everyone else I know have at least found a 10p!

I could write about everything unlucky what has happened to me or a loved one, but the story will just go on and on......


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04 Oct 2010, 8:09 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I expect bad things to happen because they do happen for me. I'm just one of those people who get given bad luck all the time, no matter how nice I am to people. I never got bullied until I was 19, because I had made some friends in college, and one came across as literally simple, and the other one came across as really loud and confident but had social problems. (Yes, you can be really outgoing and loud but with social problems too, and my mum says that's worse than being nice, sweet and shy with social problems, and I know what she means). And another one came across as rough and mouthy and sounded like she had been brought up in a very insecure household. And the other was on drugs. They all seemed nice in college, but when we all left they started spending time together without me, then when I started asking them why they didn't want me any more, it reduced me down to bullying, and I actually knew that they would end up bullying me some day, but I was just telling my conscience to stop bothering me.

Now I will think twice the next time my conscience kicks in. So no - I'm not proud of having AS because it has caused my nothing but bad luck all my life. I've never even found a piece of money on the ground. Everyone else I know have at least found a 10p!

I could write about everything unlucky what has happened to me or a loved one, but the story will just go on and on......



again, you're expecting people to show good will and appreciation towards you; that right there's your downfall.

I don' care how good you are to them, this ain't Hollywood chief.