First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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Eagleye wrote
Thanks for your reply RainbowCelt. I agree that communication is the key. My partner and I communicate effectively most of the time but still have regular miscommunication that causes our major problems. Either I say something that I believe is clear and complete - it always seems so to me at the time - only to find out after an argument that i was imprecise (how the hell did that happen ?).
OR my partner will say something that she believes cannot be misunderstood by me - i find more than one option in her statement and try to query it. After many years of me (and only being diagnosed in the last month) she has no patience left and is quick to anger ( how can i not get it ? -she thinks).

My counsellor has said we need to work on our communication , i beleive what is more important right now is "the rules of engagement". Once we do get into trouble we need an agreed "Switzerland" , neutral ground or agreed rules to sort it out. It's been too long and too painfull to easily work this out. What do other couples do ?

HELP!!


BUMP

My wife saw a Jack O'Neil quote today which said - " No I will not Macguyver you a Daedalus"

We both thought it was funny but for drastically different reasons and I wanted to ask others what they thought. I (AS) thought it was funny for the Jack O'Neil character of SG1 to talk of "Macguyvering a spaceship" , eg of rubber bands and toothpicks, a very humorous mind picture. She (NT) thought it was amusing sounding to replace the word make with Macguyver and then repeated the sentence a few times to emphasise this. For her it was about the sound , me the sight (mind picture).

Any thoughts ?

To the NTs here: Have you taken the rdos aspie test, and/or the AQ thing, and if so, what did you score?

I retook the rdos one recently and scored thusly:

Your Aspie score: 106 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 93 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits

I'm a bit half and half then?

My AQ was 38.

I just now went and took it.

My Aspie score: 29/200
My NT score: 183/200

"likely NT"

AQ=6

so that settles it, I'm NT

Thanks for doing that, Janissy... it's rather a long test! Have you never took it before?

I think I just want to see how I compare to NTs. a lot of the results (from aspies) I've seen around here are in the 140+ region on the aspie scale.

I took the AQ test when it originally was published in Wired (I have a subscription). But I didn't remember the score so I took it again. I had never taken the rdos aspie test. It is rather long. I noticed that some questions were asked multiple times but reworded. The AQ test just seemed like an abbreviation of the rdos test.

I honestly thought I was going to get a score that was edging a little more towards the middle, like yours; an Aspie score of 60 or 70 out of 200, perhaps, rather than 29. I'm so pedantic I thought for sure I must be Broader Autism Phenotype. But I guess not. I don't monologue (one of the questions) in part because I can see when people are getting bored. My mom monolgues (maybe she's BAP) so I don't know if I avoid monologuing because I'm less BAP or because from an early age I learned not to because I could see people getting bored by her and I was embarrassed and swore I would never do that.

Or do long posts count as monologues?

Interesting. If I was in that situation when I was young, I would have reacted quite differently. I would not have noticed that other people were getting bored by her. If I personally was bored by her, it would not have affected my behavior, because I would have assumed that was her problem, and would not have thought that it applied to me.

Some things about you do strike me as slightly aspie... the mentioned pedantry for example. I don't know you tooo well, but I am also a bit surprised that your score isn't less skewed towards the NT section... still I am very happy to have a 'true' NT result to compare my half and half with. Thanks

Hi Moog, I've not taken those tests. If you point me to the tests and are still interested in other scores, I'll let you know mine. Thanks for asking And, great avatar BTW

Hey Dave, cheers man!

The rdos test is here (it's a little long) http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php

AQ test - http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

Good luck!

I got a 45... -.-

I guess that makes you an aspie?

i just took the Baron Cohen eyes test. It took me 40 minutes on and off whilst watching a show - i needed the breaks because I found it difficult and many of the "best" answers a very poor fit for me. I scored 30 which is apparently fairly good. My wife (NT) did it earlier and over probably 2 minutes and scored less..
Any thoughts ?
This confuses the hell out of me - obviously I can "read" eyes at least - or is it just not in "real" time or in stressful (read emotional) situations.

As a NT trying to figure out my possibly-Aspie husband I've gotten a couple of books about Asperger's. Some of the stuff I've read talks about how being completely unable to read emotions (including in the eyes I suppose) might not be the problem. The problem might just be the time it takes for someone with AS to analyze the emotion because they have to see all the details before the big picture. A NT would just be able to read the eyes intuitively within a fraction of a second. This may explain why it took you forever to do the test, but you did well. She probably just hurried through the test and didn't think about it much. Since thinking about it isn't part of her daily existence maybe she just didn't score well out of laziness.

Is this test available on the internet? I've tried talking with my husband about Asperger's a few times, but it went over very strangely. I was just explaining about it, and he said "I push too hard" and had to leave the room. Other times he took the social situations I was trying to describe and came up with good reasons why he didn't like that particular situation and thus explaining away what I would consider the Asperger behavior. So I'm still unsure about it. I would really like to be able to use something that would show him the difference between what is considered NT and what he is like.

By the way, EagleEye, I think it was you posting about problems in your relationship. I've learned a ton about communicating with my husband since reading books about AS. The different methods I've been using have been working very well. Your partner just has to put forth the effort to understand what you can't understand. I can explain more if you want. Let me know.

I have another question for those with Asperger's. Recently my husband had a meltdown in the evening. But it didn't start until after a situation in which he mistakenly thought a word from a text message was literal. I was wondering if the confusion of that situation could trigger a meltdown? He didn't indicate at the time that it bothered him, after I explained what the text meant, but his meltdown started about 10 minutes later. Just wondering if that confusion can create a lot of anxiety, or if he just had another trigger that night.

I don't think the in the eyes test is as valid if you spend that much time working on it, I think It is supposed to be a response based around your first gut reaction.

I have found that every woman who looks at you when facing in another direction for this test, the correct answer is in some way sexual. It helps get a good score on that test, but doesn't mean i can actually read people's eyes.

Also I'm fairly faceblind but if i'm very careful about how i measure and characterize faces on the faceblindness test I can beat most NTs i know. Although i'm not really remembering a face, I'm remembering a set of facial measurements and that is kind of cheating, and does not work nearly as well in a real life scenario. If one of the measurements changes in people that I know it is like they are completely alien.

the first post in the Set of scientific tests related to Autism Spectrum Disorders thread has a good list of links, this test included

i would rarely admit if something bothered me, but that confusion doesn't usually lead to anxiety unless people start reading more into my literal interpretation or the reason i didn't understand. If he has looked into AS at all, I'm sure he knows that this is on the list of indicators and strengthens your case.

If you avoid a situation because you don't like it, if you are bad at a specific skill but consider it unimportant, these things are under your control. If you have a condition, it is like they are suddenly out of your control.

Have any NTs here read the book 'A field Guide to Earthlings'? If so - would you say that the way the author depicts NTs is accurate?