First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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question for NT

Why do men think that if a female smiles at them that they are attracted to them? Do they all think that way? It makes being friendly cut out half the population if it's true. And how can one be friendly and just be that?

I don't think all men think this way, but some men certainly do. Also, there are many different kinds of smiles: there are flirtatious smiles, sincerely friendly smiles, cheer-up smiles, "hey baby" smiles, condescending smiles, smirks, fake smiles, go-away smiles, etc. So if a female gives the flirtatious smile, I think it would be natural for a male to think or hope they are attracted to them. For myself, I try not to assume anything about anyone based on how they look. Hope this helps.

so how do you know what smile is which?

Good question. I still get it wrong. Which is why I don't assume anything anymore. I think the best you can do is do your best and be true to yourself.

Thank you for your answer Janissy. Could you tell me what info about NTs contained within the book you found to be accurate?

I would still love to hear from NTs who have read the book - because it contains a scripted play with a number of NT characters - and I have to confess to stong feelings of dislike toward these characters!! Has the author been a bit harsh toward NTs or are they truely like this? Why do I dislike them so much? How will I ever combat loneliness if I'm going to have a natural dislike of most of the earths population?!

Since I don't own the book and just read an excerpt on Amazon, I didn't read the play. I avoided reading parts of it because I hate jumping into the middle of plays and Amazon will only let you read a few pages for free.

The part that I did read was about details thinking (AS) versus big picture thinking (NT). There was a good description about the way these types of thinking differ and how they can lead two people to perceive the same thing differently.

Maybe I should go back and read a bit of play excerpt even if it will only let me read a page or two.

edited to add: Ok, I just popped over to Amazon to read a bit of the play. I can see why you don't like the characters. But they aren't really much like any actual people. They are caricatures exaggerrated to illustrate behaviours. Maybe it's best to just skip the play with it's unrealistic people and just read the non-fiction text explanations.

This book looks like it is good for explanations of NT thinking styles and behaviours. But the fictional portrayals of NTs aren't very good. I don't know what your literary taste is, but I think the best modern author who will create a believable NT person and let you see inside his mind is Stephen King. Not the early stuff, like Carrie. Carrie is good horror fiction but King hadn't yet figured out how to create real people. But if you read books he wrote from the late 80's onward, His recent books Under the Dome and Duma Key are good. You won't like some of the characters (there are villains, after all) but he will take you literally inside the NT mind for as close to a visit as you can get, if you are interested. I notice in your profile that you are female. Unlike most male authors, King is able to understand NT women. If NT women make no sense, read Rose Madder or The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon.

I didn't find the book to be very useful. It seemed to me to jump from the play to some general statements about NTs, then it jumped to some conclusions about the characters in the play. It could have done a better job of explaining how to use the general principles to come to specific conclusions.

I have been in a relationship with an Aspie male for a little over a year. I absolutely love his mind and individualism. We tend to get along really well when we are together, but when we are apart I'll get a text or email out of the blue that says "this has to end because it can't go anywhere. It will never work. I cannot love you like you deserve. I will never fit into your world." I try to reassure him that I don't share this sentiment and that usually angers him to the point that he screams at me that he never wants to see or talk to me again followed by a week or two of absolutely no contact. During that time I stay in touch via email just being a constant in his life and telling him about my comings and goings, nothing too heavy usually but an occasional I do really love you and want you in my life and I know we can make it work. After the weeks of silence, he comes back around and things return to normal. If I ask him point blank if he truly means when he says those things and does he really want me out of his life, he won't respond. Not yes, not no. I guess I'm at a loss. It's been happening more and more frequently. I feel like I'm being tested for loyalty or something, but maybe he does want the relationship to be over and doesn't know how to tell me? I'm not sure how to handle. We are both divorced with children and are professionals in our forties. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated!

Can someone explain to me why AS and NT are related? I mean from what I understand NT is a completely different disorder? I am interested because I think I know people that are related to me that might have NT... and am just wondering if this is a coincidence

NT isn't a disorder. NT means neurotypical. People who's brains work like most everyone else's. Some people use it to mean anyone who doesn't have an autism spectrum disorder, whether or not they are neurologically normal. Me, personally, I don't ever do that, since I'm one of those not AS, not NT people.

Lol, I get it now. I just cackled like a maniac for like 10 minutes, I'll leave it up to you guys to imagine what just happened to me

Question for NTs:

A Temple Grandin TED talk has left me curious. Do you really think in something besides pictures? If so, what?

Words. And sometimes, just, well ideas without words. But I don't visualize in my head. At least, not typically, and not strongly.

(Not that I'm a proper NT. Though I qualify by some people's usage of the word.)

I have several different "modes" of thinking, including thinking in pictures, thinking in terms of musical phrases or ideas, thinking in terms of mathematical equations, thinking in terms of words and sentences, "free-form" thinking where I just let my mind wander or make free associations, and other modes of thinking I can hardly articulate. Sometimes I can consciously switch between modes, other times my brain calls the shots. Please note: I speak only for myself and not other NTs. I don't think I'm a typical NT, so please do not misconstrue (where is she?) my answer as being representative of anyone else on the planet.

Hello all, I'm desperately needing test data from people who are not autistic in order to make the aspergers prediction calculator accurate. If you aren't autistic, please help by taking the tests at the following link and reporting their scores (If you haves aspergers or some form of autism, then your scores would still help!). If you don't have the time for more than a few quizzes, then scores from the AQ and the Aspie/Neurotypical quizzes would be most appreciated!

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt157848.html

Hi,

I have seemed to ask this question for ages to NTs, and always assumed that NTs do ask this also. But I have always assumed that NTs would interpret questions like "Are you angry?" or "Are you upset?" as "Don't you like me?" which would indicate a lack of self confidence. But my friend who worked all her life with children with special needs, says NTs it only shows your inability reading facial expressions.

See, my friend I live with seems to have a constant grimace on her face (which I hesitate to categorise between serious, upset, angry, resentful, worrying, indifferent)

So, is it true what she says, is my constant asking of this question a proof that I cannot read faces and that NTs rarely ask such a question?