Do you want to be 'cured' of Asperger's Syndrome?

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So now the thread is illogical because it is about people stating if they want a cure for autism or not.

One thing you must admit to---my 5 minute brainstorm,not a story, could happen in real life if the illogical cure for autism was created. That string of events could happen if that person took the so-called cure.

Now, let's please let my "illogical" story idea rest in peace. This is getting old. And I doubt I will respond anymore to this because I have better things to do than argue about a silly Aesop type moral brain-storm idea.

If you respect me, please move this thread on without criticizing my brainstorm-story. There is no logic to continue it.

I would like to discuss thoughts about the cure in another light. As we know, there is no cure. And as you know, if one existed, I would not take it. I do admit to challenges in my life. Often times we seek to improve our challenges.

Therapy can help us deal with these challenges by offering us strategies to emply in dealing with them. I have participated in such therapy. I learned about scripting out my thoughts before talking to people in situations I would normally find awkward, for example.

In some ways, we with autism can appear a little less awkward in the public eye if we practice some of these strategies. But one thing I have found, many of these strategies recommended in therapy can actually cause me anxiety.

It is like if we work to improve a challenge in one area, it can cause another area to be more challenged (less awkward communicating, more anxiety in return).

Perhaps what many of us are looking for is a way of feeling better about ourselves. Sometimes we just need to laugh. I was watching a video last night of the autistic speaker Marty Murphy speak about her autism. She is very humorous in her approach to her challenges. I found it refreshing.

I have noticed that some aspies think they are better than others at times and truly believe they are more intelligent, or practical or some other thing. However, I know some very very intelligent and sensible people who don't portray any aspie traits and they are like angels in the world. If I was cured and I was one of those people, that would be great.

maybe, but it would be difficult for me and everyone else to adjust. if the question were, 'do you wish you were born without it' yup.

It is a hard question because we cannot know what it is like to be without it and although I don't mind now because my progression has been great, I also remember being younger and suffering terribly because of it, so probably yes, better being born without it.

Yes, a thousand times, yes. My Dad is the kind of Aspie that thinks he is better and more intelligent than everyone else and that was a huge influence in my upbringing. It has taken me a long time to work out that people are generally alright and that I actually like people. I have been working very hard to be less arrogant.

I feel like I missed out on being young because I couldn't relate to my peers. I didn't get to go to theme parks with my friends or go shopping with other girls on a Saturday and I feel like I have reached the stage of emotional development at 29 to be able to enjoy and take part in fun things I couldn't handle when I was younger. But most of my friends have been there and done that and are old, married and boring now. Ho hum.

I am intelligent and very artistic, but I would give up all of my talents to be better able to interact with other humans. I am lonely. I don't want to be lonely.

No, not at all. I'm finally happy with who I am. Sometimes I have days I wish I wasn't me but alot of that is to do with other complications in life rather than aspergers but I wouldn't give up the good things it has given me to be able to have more friends and interact with people better. That just doesn't matter to me enough, I have my wife and children so am not totally excluded socially

Say no more - I know exactly how you feel. In fact, the words you have put are the same sort of words I've been writing in my journals for years. I have 12 cousins, all aged between 13 and 23, and they are all neurotypicals. I'm 20 and still haven't reached the milestones they've all reached. Of course, they all still live at home with their parent(s), even the older ones, but the one's who have left school have all found jobs or are doing well in college, and I've been on job-seekers since I was 18 and I still haven't actually got a job yet, and it's been over 2 years. I just don't seem to have the confidence to go out there and get a job, like all my cousins have.
Most of them even have boy/girlfriends now, (even the ones at school), and they all have more friends than me. It just gets me so het up about having this horrible AS, and it just makes me wonder where did I go wrong. It makes me hate myself even more because I'm surrounded by NTs, and I wouldn't mind if at least one of my cousins actually had AS, so there would be someone else who struggles with friends and would understand me. It makes me want to get away from my family, even though they love me. Just looking at my cousins's and their full young happy lives just fills me with more dreaded lonliness. I used to cling onto them a lot, but now they're getting older and they have friends of their own, they won't want me tagging along with them their whole life.
There is one cousins whom everyone thought had a touch of AS because he wasn't mixing when he started school, and he used to have big panic attacks, and had an obsession with electricity, and hated loud noise - but I suddenly figured out that was wrong because he's 19 now and has a girlfriend and has some mates who he went out to a party with, and just seems to be getting on better than me.

It seems the Aspies on these forums who have other relatives with the same sort of condition as them don't feel so alone and so seem more ''proud'' of having AS, but the ones who were brought up in a family full of NTs and are watching them all grow up and reach their goals are the ones who feel ashamed of having AS. So the way we feel about having AS depends on one's aspect of their lives and the way their life is going.

I just hate feeling singled out of my family. I totally know how you feel, watching NTs around you getting on and you're still in the same position with your life. It is a horrible feeling. I'm glad I have someone else on here who feels the same way I do.

Last edited by Joe90 on 30 Sep 2010, 12:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I've noticed a trend here. The over 30 crowd generally see AS as a gift. We came of age, when kids were allowed to be kids and we were allowed to develop naturally, instead of forcefully. The younger people are more likely to want to be cured, because they've gone through hours if intensive therapy, being told that everything that they did was bad, or wrong. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I'd take a cure.

I am over 30 (45 to be exact), and you know that I see my AS as a gift. Your point about the kids today---that makes sense to me as to how many of them feel. Good observation CockneyRebel.

There's something there, yes, but I think it stems more from the fact about when people over 30 tended to be diagnosed vs. people younger and how that affected their life experience. Autism has only been an official diagnosis since 1980 and officially recognized as continuing beyond childhood since 1987, while Asperger's was officially recognized in 1994. So people over 30 most likely did not have a neurological (pervasive developmental disability) explanation for their challenges, and people (others and/or themselves) might have instead thought someone to be crazy/lazy/unintelligent/selfish/aggressive etc. when we have complex challenges so our behaviors are not always what they seem and can be quite unintentional compared to most NTs. So for many over-30 autistics, getting diagnosed was a relief, and that feeling is less likely for those who were diagnosed at 4, 9, 16 etc.

That is a good point. As I got my diagnosis at 44 years of age I felt RELIEVED. Finally I had an answer to why I was so eccentric and preferred solitude. I used to worry about this as a youth. Why did I feel this way? I didn't do things the same way other kids did. But now, I had an answer and I was not alone in the world. That was a relief.

Not sure you're wrong, but not completely right.

Those of us over 30 likely grew up with NOBODY telling us we had something wrong with us. I was having trouble in school, taken to a child psychologist who ran a battery of tests. I got the official "normal" stamp. But hardly anyone in the USA knew of AS then, and the quack I was seeing was focused on getting my grades up, not dealing with any social dysfunction I might be suffering from which (ultimately) is why I was doing so poorly in school (hostile environment = impossible to learn).

1994 - 30 = 1964. Born before that and you definitely never got a Dx as a child/teen. Born after that and it all hinged on your how symptomatic you were and if anyone recognized the signs of AS.

However, once you reach 30, you've had time to come to terms with who you are. If a cure existed today, would I take it? I'm over 40 now. My professional life (for the most part) is over. A life of aborted and crippled opportunities has established that while I might be a reliable worker, I'm no success story. Suddenly becoming NT would be of dubious value now. Maybe I'd still want it...maybe not. Certainly, I wish I at least knew of AS back when I was 14-16 and therapy could have helped me avoid many of the bad things that happened because I was unaware of my condition and how it could complicate my life.

Your view just illustrates both sides of the coin. If you grow up thinking nothing is "wrong" with you, you can be harmed because you don't know how to compensate for what you will do wrong until you learn through painful experiences. However, knowing at an early age brings the mixed blessing of "knowing" so you can do something about it, but you also must grapple with the anger of being forced to be "different" from most other people. As I, in my 40s, have some latent anger over having AS (the "why me" factor), I suppose everyone with any disability must struggle with this issue, and age does not exempt us from feeling it. Age and experience might enable us to handle it more gracefully, though.

I'm under thirty. I knew there was something "off" about me, but I didn't know what it was and I didn't like it. I wasn't forced to develop.

Last edited by Delirium on 01 Oct 2010, 10:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fanatically pro-cure here.

The irony is that when I was younger, I didn't mind so much. I figured my 'gifts' would allow me to compensate. And for a time they did: I was quite wealthy in my 20's. I had a nice big condo with a billiard room, Lincoln Continental, etc. Of course, the house was empty, I had nobody to play pool with, and the passenger seats of my car were always covered in books (i.e. not used).
At 30, I concluded that money is no cure for loneliness, that I couldn't stand living so miserable anymore, and that I had to change myself somehow. And since the cure doesn't exist, I decided to become a scientist and create it. (Of course, I'm using my AS gifts to do so. Perhaps more ironic.)

I'm not saying the under/over idea isn't correct, just that it doesn't apply to everyone.