Is there any Aspie who wish they are born normal?

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F**k no, I'd rather not be born at all.

Joe90, I also met an accident when I was 8. It was not serious, according to my sister, just a bump on my head, leaving a small crack on my head front. My leg and hand bones were fracture a bit, but main problem was my left side of face was never able to move, and left ear can't hear. I can bend my fingers backwards!

Actually, long ago I did think it was the accident that left me with weirdness or different from other people kind of character, but yet I can't accept that because I see there are plenty of other people with head injury even more serious, but once they are ok, I don't think they have any weird character at all, still can talk as normal, etc. But then, what caused my different character, I never knew. About 25 years ago, psychologist did not notice my problem.

Well, now, I'm still a bit wondering, since you mentioned it, is it actually because of the accident, or asperger as diagnosed by the expert at my age of 50!

Eaaaahhh...sometimes.

My siblings have autistic traits but not enough to interfere with their life. They're all quite social and normal.

I forget about things all the time. I once left a DSLR outside at a lunch table while at college. Nobody took it but they could have. This isn't stupidity but a poor short term memory. You need to really stop calling yourself stupid because you will believe it and that's no way to live. I used to be the same. For what it's worth I have left the keys in the front door.

But yes, sometimes I do think 'why me'?

Deair Friends,
Last month I took my motorbike scooter, spent an hour with my employment advisor only to come back to find my keys still in the ignition. I have hundreds of these instances, nobody is daft, we just have other things on our minds

God Bless

Joall

sometimes--- i wish i could just blend in and feel like others simply because it would make things easier, less stressful. but then again, it would take away from the unique person that I believe I am.

With me, it depends on what people I am with to be able to have the right social cues. I think I've already mentioned this somewhere before on this thread. Inwardly, teenage girls really make me feel more like an Aspie, but if I am with people anywhere older than me (unless they are still quite immature in their 20s), my Aspie symptoms seem to hide away, and I seem to throw out normal NT social cues. (Until I make a social mistake).

I just wish I didn't have that anxiety where I'm thinking everybody's looking at me in the street. When I'm sitting on the bus and somebody is walking on the pavement, I feel they could see me through the bus window and me only. And now I get confused because I never know whether to look away, to keep staring at one thing until they've passed, or to just look at them. If I don't look at people, though, I will never spot people I know. I'm always whipping past people I know in the street, because of not looking, so sometimes you have to look at people as you pass so that you can have time to know if they are somebody you know or not. But, I don't like strangers staring at me because I am very self-conscious, so I tend to look away. It's such a confusion to know what to do when people are walking by me, which makes me anxious. I can't seem to separate my mind from other people around me. I have got into this anxiety, and it's hard to get myself out. I need to be convinced properly that I look ''cool'', and I need proof that people aren't just looking at me, but are looking at eachother as they pass.
I hate it when I first stand in the bus station to wait for the bus, because everybody already standing at my bus stand all turn around and stare at me for ages, and I don't know what to do when people stare. I seem to panic, as though I have developed a phobia of being stared at by strangers. It's a completely different matter when somebody is looking at me whilst talking to me. That is fine. But just strangers in the street staring at me for no reason, it agitates me.

Joe90,
Staring? In my country, normally people do not stare at strangers, unless they know each other. But instead, they do look at strangers, but only for a short moment so it doesn't look like staring. Maybe staring we consider as rude, I don't know.

Forgetfulness - I'm also very forgetful. What I normally do is, ex. keys, handphone and other things, I make sure to put at one particular place at home all the time so will never forget, won't get lost and have to search. Handphone, I've lost one before, so immediately after losing it, the new handphone I join it with a nice string that I can attach to my pocket, so when outside, will never place on the table and forget or get lost again.

Where I live, people intentionally look at people who may look just a tiny bit odd. Last week I went bowling with my friends, and one of my friends hadn't been bowling before. When it was his go, he went half way up the lane and was about to bowl, when my other friend yelled, ''that's not how you do it - you must stand behind the line!'' And the people in the lane next to us looked at him.
There are lots of different types of looks, and I know them off by heart. Some looks are ''friendly looks'', which I don't mind. Some are ''flirty looks'', which I do sometimes get from men. Some are ''odd looks'' which people give you if they are trying to figure something out on you, which are also known as a type of glare. I don't like those looks. They offend me. But I can't look that weird or stupid, because I've often had strangers coming up to me and asking me questions, like, ''excuse me, do you know if the Chelmsford bus has come?'' or something general like that. And I know what people are like - they wouldn't go up to a person who looks like a bit of a freak and trust them to answer their question, so I can't look that freakish then. Also, parents with small children don't think anything when they're standing near me, so I can't look that untrustworthy either. And I seem to get NT men fancying me, so I can't look that weird. Plus I wear nice, trendy clothes, and I am tall and slim and attractive, and I always make myself look presentable.
So I don't get what the odd looks are all about.

Joe90 "Plus I wear nice, trendy clothes, and I am tall and slim and attractive, and I always make myself look presentable."

I also make myself presentable. It helps me look confident, though my confidence level is not high enough! When I go to most places, most people look up to me, I think it's because I can look like their good prospect if they are selling something! Long ago, I never bother what I wear, so I remember I was looked down. So nice clothing or make ups really helps. Good looks also helps of course.
You said when something has happened, people stare or looked at you? That's common. They just wanna know what happened!

Good advice.

I don't like the way I get so obsessed with something that I will become morbidly depressed if my obsession got destroyed.

That's why I am panicking about the government cut-backs. I just know it will affect my obsession......






ps, what's the difference between the word ''affect'' and ''effect''?

Here's a link which explains the difference, Joe90: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/af ... ffect.aspx

Btw, what is your obsession and how will government cut-backs affect it? I get obsessed with things as well, but I normally try to have more than one so that I'm never bored!

I accept what I am, and all the wishing in the world will not change what I am.

The truth is, though, that if I could wish away my life and give it to this NT version of me, I would do it gladly. Maybe he would have a better chance of happiness than I have.

Would be nice sometimes (especially easier to relate to people,) but I do enjoy my eccentricities.

Well, I am obsessed with my bus what I catch every day to work. I like the route, the schedule, the regular passengers, the drivers, and even the bus company what runs this bus. I fancy a few of the bus-drivers, and one of them has taken a shine to me too, but he is much older than me and is married. We still talk in the bus sometimes, and the other drivers are really friendly. Not just that - getting on this bus relaxes me.
And it takes me to work, of course. But all over the news they are saying that hundreds of bus routes are going to be cut by the government because the greedy a***holes want more money, even though they are in 44 million pounds debt they still don't need to go this far.....(OK, don't get me started on the government, otherwise I will go completely off-topic), and I am just so frightened that this bus route will be taken off. It may not sound much to other people (unless they need to get to work on it), but it is double the worry for me, because a, I need it to get to work and so I will be thrown on the dole without being made redundant b, I will miss all the drivers c, that is the only bus what goes through where I live, d, I will lose my special interest, which is one of my only pleasures I have. It makes me feel sick to think about this.

I am obsessed with the weather, kind of, but not enough to be ashamed if I lost it, (for example, if I moved to a type of country where they just get heat, sun, and about 10 rain showers a year). And I've only become obsessed with the weather because of my anxiety, which is snow. I hate snow so much, because of the icy pavements and the slipping. Where I come from, you get humiliated when you slip over, and people laughing and looking at me also makes me anxious, which has made me hate snow. And I seem to be more prone to slipping than others because of my Dyspraxia - I have low muscle tone in my lower legs and feet which makes me hold myself stiffly, especially on ice or other lethal surfaces.
So now, (back on topic), I find myself excessively looking on the BBC weather website for the outlook. If the temperature gets below 2 degrees, it is likely to snow heavily (ooohh, *shudder*). In the spring and the summer, my obsession with the weather goes away, because I don't mind sun, rain, thunder, wind, mist, hail, ect., because there is no chance of snow, obviously. The temperature rises to 24 to 38 degrees, which won't result in me slipping on ice.