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Why would someone pretend to have aspergers?

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Verdandi
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24 Jan 2012, 9:00 am

I do find it strange how intently some focus on "You might be wrong!" with regards to self-diagnosis.



hanyo
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24 Jan 2012, 9:39 am

I suppose some hypothetical someone could fake it to try to get ssi, get sympathy or to get people to take care of them, or to excuse unusual behavior.

Many undiagnosed people probably think they have it because they have many of the symptoms but have no way to get a diagnosis. They just know something is wrong and this seems to fit.



Verdandi
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24 Jan 2012, 9:46 am

Based on my experience, a good way to not get sympathy is to tell people you have AS.

Let's see:

My mother: Basically stopped talking or listening to me.
My niece: Called me "ret*d" and tries to criticize everything I do as subhuman or incompetent.
My stepfather: Treats me like a child.
My sister: Actually, she's a lot nicer than she's ever been. The worst she said to me was "don't use it as an excuse, you have to adapt to everyone else." Clueless, but she's strangely amicable otherwise.

Also, had some people stop talking to me after I revealed it.

And then several people who still treat me the same as before.



hanyo
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24 Jan 2012, 9:47 am

Verdandi wrote:
Based on my experience, a good way to not get sympathy is to tell people you have AS.


I never said it would work. I just thought some hypothetical faker might think that.



JeremyNJ1984
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24 Jan 2012, 9:48 am

Verdandi wrote:
Based on my experience, a good way to not get sympathy is to tell people you have AS.

Let's see:

My mother: Basically stopped talking or listening to me.
My niece: Called me "ret*d" and tries to criticize everything I do as subhuman or incompetent.
My stepfather: Treats me like a child.
My sister: Actually, she's a lot nicer than she's ever been. The worst she said to me was "don't use it as an excuse, you have to adapt to everyone else." Clueless, but she's strangely amicable otherwise.

Also, had some people stop talking to me after I revealed it.

And then several people who still treat me the same as before.



Have you considered just not talking to them? why put up with the abuse? if that is how family treats you...they aren't family.



Verdandi
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24 Jan 2012, 9:52 am

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Have you considered just not talking to them? why put up with the abuse? if that is how family treats you...they aren't family.


Until SSI starts, I don't have anywhere else to go. I am stuck relying on them for transportation, food, shelter, etc. I don't have any alternatives at the moment.

My niece is the worst, followed by my stepfather. My mother just gaslights me about both of them.



goodwitchy
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24 Jan 2012, 9:54 am

CrazyCatLord wrote:
The last thing we need is feeling rejected by the only people who can relate to us.


Applause! Thanks CrazyCatLord :)


_________________
Aspie score: 161 of 200
Neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 38 of 200
Autistic/BAP -123 aloof, 124 rigid and 108 pragmatic
Autism Spectrum quotient: 41, Empathy Quotient: 19


JeremyNJ1984
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24 Jan 2012, 9:54 am

Verdandi wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Have you considered just not talking to them? why put up with the abuse? if that is how family treats you...they aren't family.


Until SSI starts, I don't have anywhere else to go. I am stuck relying on them for transportation, food, shelter, etc. I don't have any alternatives at the moment.



I knew for myself what liberated me a lot was getting my drivers license...it took a while...not until i was 25, but it was well worth it....it really does open up a lot of opportunities...have you considered that? I know its scary..and believe me, i know its difficult at first..but its well worth it.



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24 Jan 2012, 10:00 am

A driver's license may be good to have but it won't do you much good if you can't afford a car.

I don't have a driver's license and don't plan on ever getting one. Not only do I think I'd have a lot of problems driving and can't afford a car, I can't even get a regular id, never mind a license. They have this thing now where you need 6 points worth of stuff just to get an id and I have a maximum of 3-4. My mother wanted me to get an id to put me on her bank account in case anything happened to her, like if she died or if she was in the hospital or ill and I needed to go to the bank for her.

Edit: I'm lucky to live where there are buses. Since I moved I'm less than a block away from a bus stop and can take one bus right to the mall or my city's downtown or if I switch buses I can get to another mall and Walmart.



Last edited by hanyo on 24 Jan 2012, 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

Verdandi
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24 Jan 2012, 10:02 am

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Have you considered just not talking to them? why put up with the abuse? if that is how family treats you...they aren't family.


Until SSI starts, I don't have anywhere else to go. I am stuck relying on them for transportation, food, shelter, etc. I don't have any alternatives at the moment.



I knew for myself what liberated me a lot was getting my drivers license...it took a while...not until i was 25, but it was well worth it....it really does open up a lot of opportunities...have you considered that? I know its scary..and believe me, i know its difficult at first..but its well worth it.


I can't afford a car and I can't pay attention to the road and the cars on the road at the same time. I get overloaded from everything I have to track. I do have other avenues I will pursue.

I appreciate the advice but me driving isn't going to happen.



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24 Jan 2012, 10:11 am

hanyo wrote:
A driver's license may be good to have but it won't do you much good if you can't afford a car.

I don't have a driver's license and don't plan on ever getting one. Not only do I think I'd have a lot of problems driving and can't afford a car, I can't even get a regular id, never mind a license. They have this thing now where you need 6 points worth of stuff just to get an id and I have a maximum of 3-4. My mother wanted me to get an id to put me on her bank account in case anything happened to her, like if she died or if she was in the hospital or ill and I needed to go to the bank for her.

Edit: I'm lucky to live where there are buses. Since I moved I'm less than a block away from a bus stop and can take one bus right to the mall or my city's downtown or if I switch buses I can get to another mall and Walmart.


I can't renew my photo ID, as I don't have enough documentation. I can't get enough documentation. I am worried as my photo ID is out of date and I have to present photo ID to get into my hearing for SSI benefits.



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24 Jan 2012, 10:17 am

Verdandi wrote:
I can't renew my photo ID, as I don't have enough documentation. I can't get enough documentation. I am worried as my photo ID is out of date and I have to present photo ID to get into my hearing for SSI benefits.


I have that problem too and haven't figured out yet what to do about it. It seems like almost all the documents you can use are related to work, welfare, or banking. I don't work, am not on welfare, and I don't have a bank account because I have no money and you need an id to get a bank account.

I have a birth certificate (0 points, proof of age), social security card (2 points), ged (1 point) and credit card (1 point). The credit card might not count because it's prepaid and doesn't have a signature or a place to put one. My old id is too old to count. It needs to be less than 2 years old and it's almost a decade old.



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24 Jan 2012, 10:20 am

Verdandi wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Have you considered just not talking to them? why put up with the abuse? if that is how family treats you...they aren't family.


Until SSI starts, I don't have anywhere else to go. I am stuck relying on them for transportation, food, shelter, etc. I don't have any alternatives at the moment.



I knew for myself what liberated me a lot was getting my drivers license...it took a while...not until i was 25, but it was well worth it....it really does open up a lot of opportunities...have you considered that? I know its scary..and believe me, i know its difficult at first..but its well worth it.


I can't afford a car and I can't pay attention to the road and the cars on the road at the same time. I get overloaded from everything I have to track. I do have other avenues I will pursue.

I appreciate the advice but me driving isn't going to happen.



The trick becomes....get your drivers license, start looking for jobs..look for something close by near mass transit...save up to get a car while continue looking for better jobs...and if you find a better job you get the car...I know i had the same issues when it came to driving..sensory issues..but it really is not as bad as we make it out in our head..when you consider that in the car, your moving at a constant speed its really JUST like walking except in a machine. If you take it one day at a time, it becomes simple beyond belief...



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24 Jan 2012, 10:24 am

hanyo wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
I can't renew my photo ID, as I don't have enough documentation. I can't get enough documentation. I am worried as my photo ID is out of date and I have to present photo ID to get into my hearing for SSI benefits.


I have that problem too and haven't figured out yet what to do about it. It seems like almost all the documents you can use are related to work, welfare, or banking. I don't work, am not on welfare, and I don't have a bank account because I have no money and you need an id to get a bank account.

I have a birth certificate (0 points, proof of age), social security card (2 points), ged (1 point) and credit card (1 point). The credit card might not count because it's prepaid and doesn't have a signature or a place to put one. My old id is too old to count. It needs to be less than 2 years old and it's almost a decade old.



Here in NJ, you can use your birth certificate as a form of points to the 6 point system. Also consider getting a passport...its good for points. If you have a credit card bill with your name on it, it counts.


Edit: just looked it up...a Birth Certificate is 4 points of the 6.



Last edited by JeremyNJ1984 on 24 Jan 2012, 10:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

hanyo
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24 Jan 2012, 10:26 am

JeremyNJ1984 wrote:
Here in NJ, you can use your birth certificate as a form of points to the 6 point system. Also consider getting a passport...its good for points. If you have a credit card bill with your name on it, it counts.


Passports are expensive.

I don't have a credit card bill. I have one of those prepaid ones that you put money on and it works like a debit card.



Verdandi
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24 Jan 2012, 10:26 am

hanyo wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
I can't renew my photo ID, as I don't have enough documentation. I can't get enough documentation. I am worried as my photo ID is out of date and I have to present photo ID to get into my hearing for SSI benefits.


I have that problem too and haven't figured out yet what to do about it. It seems like almost all the documents you can use are related to work, welfare, or banking. I don't work, am not on welfare, and I don't have a bank account because I have no money and you need an id to get a bank account.

I have a birth certificate (0 points, proof of age), social security card (2 points), ged (1 point) and credit card (1 point). The credit card might not count because it's prepaid and doesn't have a signature or a place to put one. My old id is too old to count. It needs to be less than 2 years old and it's almost a decade old.


It's nothing so simple here - a list of acceptable documents of various types and how many of each. If you're late in renewing, you need even more documents.