ReticentJaeger wrote:
Interrupting a conversation to say 'hi'.
Talking to someone who's reading a book.
I agree with both of these and it doesn't just appear rude. In most cases it IS rude.
I especially dislike it when store clerks interrupt while I am talking to ask if I need help.
Or in a restaurant, when the server comes by to ask if you need anything...of course it's inevitable that they are going to interrupt the meal, but some of them are very rude about it. They just butt in very abruptly while someone is speaking. They act like they are just going to keep walking past your table if someone doesn't call out a response immediately. If you gesture for them to wait while you finish chewing, they stare very intensely watching you chew the food, like they are mentally trying to force you to swallow faster. lol Or when the first person responds that everything is okay, they don't wait to see if anyone else at the table has something to say, they just move on.
In general, I find it very rude when people ask questions and don't pause to hear a response.
Dantac wrote:
You're talking to someone on the phone and they start talking to you.
...and then THEY get upset when I show them the palm of my hand to make them stop since I can't keep track of what two people are saying at once, each in one of my ears.
OMG. Yeah. One time this happened to me on a merchandising job. I visited this store once a week to stock and straighten the book section. Sometimes I would talk on the phone to my supervisor while I was working. One day the store manager came up and started talking to me while I was on the phone. I put my hand up because I couldn't carry on two conversations at once. All I intended was to signal, hold on a minute. She reacted like I had pulled a gun on her. Yelled at me that I had better NEVER put my hand up to her again. Total biotch. I quit servicing that store not long after that.
I think that to a NT it would come across as offensive. If you chose you could try something like smiling and either putting up one finger or moving your phone to the side to quickly say "Hold on just a minute or This is important or Just a minute". Usually, not every time because some people just seem to be mean, it comes across more friendly than a hand in their face. I think it's perfectly reasonable to do it, but it's not that way for many. They don't get that, they feel shoved away or somehow less important and that negative reaction evokes the anger you encountered. I'm sorry you both went through those situations though. A smile, as genuine as you can make it, softens an otherwise awkward situation, which they brought upon themselves to begin with....
I've spent my entire childhood and teen years learning to read moods of my parents and others, and this seems to be the reason for the reaction. Hope it doesn't happen again!