Are you proud of having Asperger's?

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There will never become a day where I will suddenly turn round and say, ''I love having Aspergers! I love myself! I love living my life!'' It may happen when pigs fly.
I'm so ashamed of having Aspergers that I've rounded up a few whys. I garentee you that the answer to every why will be ''because I have Aspergers''. And it's because I have Aspergers that I'm sociably unnaccepted.

Why do all my cousins have more friends and I don't?

Why am I the only Aspie in my whole family?

Why am I in a horrible habit of following my mum around the house talking and asking questions?

Why do all young attractive men want girls who wear make-up, have the modern hairstyle, and wear fashionable clothes?

Why can't I help myself scowling at people and toddlers?

Why am I pale, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, thick-haired, unconfident, low-voiced and tall?

Why do people tell me to stop moaning, but when other people, who moan even more than I do, never get told to stop moaning?

Why did everyone expect me to be an adult when I was 14, but now that I'm 20 I see 14 year olds being allowed to be immature?

Why do I get insulted by people when all I'm doing is joining in a conversation?

Why does my family have an answer for everything about me, as though I'm the worst person in the world?
Every time I say something inappropriate, I get shouted at, and when I say, ''so-and-so says that a lot!'' the reply is always, ''not as much as you do!'' It's always exactly the same response.

If I never had this Aspergers, I will be socially accepted, even if I still acted awkward. People just assume that I'm going to talk about crap, so they choose not to listen to me. I hate my life, and the more I try to act NT, the more I get chewed out.

You're very lucky if you like having Aspergers.

Because either your cousins are NT and you're not, or if any of them are Autistic, they caved in to peer pressure very early on, and decided to follow the crowd netting them friends; does that guarantee they're happy? No, it just means they figured it's what will make them happy.

How do you know you're the only Autistic one? For a few years I believed I was the only one; now that I've learned more about my family history, it was passed down to me, and I'm the only one not trying to hide it.

I...actually followed my parents around too; you want someone to talk to, someone you believe you can relate to whereas you don't think you can relate to anyone else, and your mom's the closest you got. You figure "she knows something I don't". I was there, too.

For the same reason young attractive women want guys who look like the Jersey Shore crew who treat them like crap, and make asses of themselves. They say they regret it when they're older, but I don't really believe that.

For the same reason I had problems holding back from scowling at society in general. You know something about them that they already know, but aren't willing to admit. And you want to know how they can go thru life just accepting the crap they've been raised to accept.

For the same reason I'm tall, hairy, have a squeaky voice, a bad back, have brown eyes, and dark brown hair. And you're unconfident because you chose to believe it when society tells you you're wrong for being you.

They single you out cause not only does it stick out when you do it--cause you already stick out--but also because it's easier to out the person who already sticks out rather than "finding fault" in others. Remember: everyone has skeletons in their closet, but once you have social status, most of that gets "swept under the rug".

Because society is brain-dead, just wants you to confirm, and can't figure out why. In short, society doesn't know what the hell it wants either. Well, it does...but it's dream scenario is totally unrealistic, and almost entirely emotion-based.

Because--again--you stick out like a sore thumb; it's not your fault, but the cards you were dealt didn't give you the ability to easily navigate into conversation; but you do have the ability to do many other things that they don't. Now, whenever I try to join into conversations, I also like to present different perspectives, and people "out" me as being negative. I don't see it as being negative at all, but because it goes against "the flow", that's how it's viewed. Seriously...I'm really given virtually no incentive to learn better social skills...

The other people probably do it as often as you do--if not more--but they're just trying to shut you up. You stick out, and they're trying to get you not to. Of course it won't work, but they're trying to get you to conform, and of course they'll fail miserably...whether you want it to fail or not. My mother--who was Autistic--used to have these weird characteristics that I do, but they never outed her because she tried to conform and miserably failed--but she tried( it also took her life); they used denials, and outed me over it. It was crap. I've come to resent most people for a reason...IMO a very good reason. I used to ask the same thing about cousins on my Dad's side, but of course everyone defended them too. See, to them, two wrongs make a right as long as it's those who are socially accepted. If someone without social status does it, it's not cool. I never said society made a whole lot of sense; they don't.


Don't hate your life; you only hate it because you're being told by everyone that you're wrong for being who you are. You aren't; you just have to find your way, and grow into your own skin.

I was conflicted for years as I didn't understand feelings of love, and I felt like a horrible person for it. People kept telling me I was doing everything wrong, and I discovered I wasn't, it's just that I wasn't conforming to their standards. When my eyes were finally opened and I saw the truth, everyone else pretty much made me sick. People had lost my trust ages ago, and no matter how good I'd been to them showed zero desire to get it back; it's like I'd meant nothing to them. I started generally kicking people out of my life and "laying down the law"; they didn't like it, but....here's where you're at an advantage:

the only way they can threaten you is if they hold something over your head, usually involving social status. You have none; you'll never have any, being Autistic. They have absolutely nothing useful to hold over your head, as opposed to what they could hold over other peoples' heads; remember that.

Also remember that anytime you tell people this stuff about your life, and they tell you how horrible those people are, chances are the people you're telling it to generally aren't all that much better. Sad, isn't it? I've come to understand so much about humans; I don't even need body language skills to navigate thru life. I just study patterns on how people act/react, don't expect them to like me, not care what they think as long as I know I'm doing the right thing, and enjoy the results. Let them disapprove of me; they've never approved of me, and they never will, so why should I care now?

If you think you're unhappy with the results as of now, I assure you that selling out to try to be more like them will make you miserable beyond belief. You'll wind up with absolutely nothing at that point, and you'll know it.

Just learn to use the cards you were given; you have way more at your disposal than you realize

I'm not proud of it either, I wish I was NT.

I love hearing this, really.

It's like hearing from somebody who has a huge supply of gold that they'd prefer to have "fool's gold" because the majority tell them it's better, even though it gets inferior results. Oh my god how I think it's funny; sad, but funny,...

There is truth in this statement.

I'm investing in Aspieness because I know its value will rise and it will begin paying me dividends soon

I agree with you. This Aspergers is making me an outcast. I grew up in a big family full of NTs, I grew up in a class full of NTs, I got bullied last year by NTs, I wasted my whole childhood screaming and bawling when other children came round because I couldn't cope with them and I drove their parents away.....


Do you think that's anything to be proud of? None of my other cousins behaved like that. Why? Oh - it's because they're NTs.
And NT girls at school used to say to me, ''everyone knows you've got a problem, Josie!'' in a really horrible way, as though they're so proud they're not me.

f**k Aspergers!! !! !!

And aren't you glad you don't act like that yourself?

Hmmm...I love that statement, and I want you to think about something based on it: you said being Autistic makes you an outcast. No, I don't see it that way at all; all it's doing is exposing you to who people really are underneath. You can't blame being Autistic for other people being irrational and cruel....but it sure helps you reveal those who are.

You'd rather go thru life believing that these people are genuinely decent, when all evidence you're discovering is pointing another way?

I got news for ya: most other NTs likely know the truth about them too, if they're body language skills are so great anyway; it's just things that aren't mentioned cause they get "swept under the rug". Basically, they let said BS slide, because of the social status.

And...you find that acceptable?

I'd be more interested in using that information to my advantage in the future to understand those around me more, rather than hating myself because people aren't pretending to like me, but as Billy Joel pretty much sang it best in Anthony's Song "Good luck movin' up cause I'm movin' out......"

THANK YOU!


Y'know, while I was in the shower, I thought of something regarding this issue...well, three things:

1. Saying you feel bad that you're Autistic because you're treated like crap in light of it is almost like saying you feel bad because you're in a relationship with an abusive partner. While getting into that relationship may've been a stupid move, why would you be apologetic to the person who's abusing you?

2. Tell me this: should the X-Men feel bad about having the extra powers that they were born with? They get attacked for being different all the time, so does that make them wrong for being different? Humans are terrified of anything they don't understand that's out of the ordinary, so is whatever's "out of the ordinary" wrong for being so?

3. Do you really think the people who hurt you like themselves--or even each other--anymore than you like yourself? People who truly love themselves and respect themselves don't try to hurt other people like this. One thing you must understand is the majority of humankind has a mixture of piss-poor self-esteem, and lots of pseudo self-esteem as well.

It isn't genuine; and I assure you this poor level of esteem has gotten civilization into trouble more times than you could possibly imagine. You can pretty much blame our idolizing politicians, religions, and "snake oil" salesman on that very trait.

It's held civilization back from so much over the course of history, it's not even funny. It's why societies generally go thru upswings and declines like tissue paper.

A society that truly holds itself in esteem would treat itself--and you--a lot better than it has up to this point.

Just be the best you that you can be.

im indifferent twords my aspermigers and i'm definelty not a activist

In the lil time I was diagnostic of having Aspergers I was not proud at all.
After That the diagnostic that says I had Aspergers was 100% Deleted.
And I was retested by some ppl that did know what they was doing. I do not have Aspergers after all. But I do have Autism.
I just can not have Aspergers do to my previous history and other stuff. I am still not proud and never will be.
I love to be like the others and not have Autism but I know I never be. I am ok with knowing I am Autistic and that is the way I am and why I am the way I am but I never be proud. It sucks to see how other ppl are and what they do like dating and feeling in love and all the good stuff that I see ppl do, but I do not understand it at all. some I do understand but a lot I just can not.
I just do not know how some one can be proud for having this. See the world from my eyes and you know why. I am 37 and been like this all my life I have been called every put down in the book from ppl do the way I am. My own mom put me down and called me names as a kid all the time. I have been called mentally ret*d by ppl and my mom in my pass.
to this day my mom thanks the Autism diagnostic is a bad sick joke at 1st she was some what ok with it but after she seen some one with very bad Autism and says that is not the way you are so you do not have it. I just can not get it in her head that not every one with Autism is like that.
she did stop calling me a ret*d.

I can talk but I fell 80% of the stuff I say ppl do not understand me.
So I say one more time I am not at all proud to Autistic. That be like saying I am proud of having muscular dystrophy and being in a wheelchair. I am not proud of that to. hell I miss walking.

If I upset the ones on WP that are proud to being Autistic sorry if you like to be proud of being Autistic that is ok. But there is no way I will feel that way.

Sorry to hear it...though as the body builder who trained Marlon Brando said in an interview just a few short years ago: "you can't win 'em all".


Oh, and BTW: Asperger's is mild Autism; it's the same thing, basically.

Last edited by TheDoctor82 on 24 Oct 2010, 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've always said (and argued the point which anyone who would) that one cannot possibly be proud of something they haven't done or made themselves (e.g. I find statements like 'I'm proud to be .... 'insert name of a country here' or 'I am proud to be a man (woman) but this time I think I will break my own rules and say yes, I am proud to be an Aspie. If I had the choice, I wouldn't want to be a NT.

Good point: then more specifically, I'm happy being who I am and what I am....and I'm proud of the accomplishments I've been able to make; and am proud of myself for figuring out how to use the traits that come with being Autistic to my advantage.

Yes.

Yes, I am proud of who I am.