First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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honestly i dont think there is any actual eye communication i find all they want is that you stare in to there eyes

To NT's

Hi,

What are your thoughts on this type of conversation?
You meet me and make some small talk. (you being a NT)
Within 2-3 lines, I hear you say something about yourself and I ask a question about you.
This now opens a topic which is "you"
You start to talk and I ask another question ( A question in reference to something you disclosed. The question is more derived from a curiousness to know your story and need not be getting deeper in to what you already disclosed about yourself, or not like an interrogation)

Now I'm getting to know you. The conversation is no longer small talk. But, because you were initially eager to talk about yourself, you may not have noticed the change to a more in depth conversation.

how would you feel?
did you notice what was done?
do you have any sense of fulfillment ?
did you enjoy the one way convo?
Are we now friends?
do you feel cheated in anyway, like you disclosed so much and probably don't even know what I do for a living?
are you as nervous about deep talk then i am of small talk? To the point that you start over talking and disclose weird things/habits?
Most importantly why the hell wouldn't you ask me about what i do or at least what my name is after all that ?

The reaction I got was this.. blah blah blah a whole life story. Very passionate blabbering.
Then i get something like
"Oh I dont know why I'm talking about all this"
They keep talking but shortly after they leave, almost all of a sudden, like rushed.

They leave me with a weird feeling. Like they were unfulfilled, or they regret disclosing so much? I cant quite put my finger on it.

Needless to say, from there it all goes to crap. Cause I know them so well, its like there has to be a HI every time we cross paths. I have no where to go with the convo and get lost with in the small talk and fail. So, it gets really weird. They now see the real me
We get distant, start avoiding each other due to the fact I cant replicate the same closeness.

But ! I leave knowing some of their inner most thoughts. I collect these deep thoughts, I call them souls. and i go to the devils pawn shop and trade them in for new shoes. Then I cross the victim on the street again, and ohhh ! ! They know where those shoes came from it drives them nuts. Then they watch me do it to the next victim. Soon, my neighbors are warning people about what my scam is and they all envy all the stuff I bought from the pawn shop. besides the above questions .. how much do you think i can sell these souls for on ebay?

[quote="meeemoi"]To NT's


This now opens a topic which is "you"

I am not an NT but I was reading your post you made me think of something. After a conversation do I think of us talking about 'you' and 'me' or about the topics we talked about?

I still don't really know. In a lot of ways I don't separate them. I think of 'she told me that she' what she did. But I focus on the topic details so much that I don't know what we talked about. For example when my family tellls me they are fixing things in the house...to me I hear that dad is getting a new ceiling fan, or if I talk to my mom, that they are building a new fence and things like that. But to them they are talking about the house itself. But to me they list so many details that I can't remember them and then have no idea what they are talking about.

Do NTs see the topic as what people are talking about or the person doing the topic as what they are talking about? And what about the rest of you on the spectrum? Which do you see?

I fear your posts are kinda like alot of mine. from the hart., but a bit hard to understand lol
maybe its just me after all i been sleeping 5 hours a day and eating 1-2 meals a day this week.
Its catching up to me riiiiiiight now
good night !

Oops,
I'll try again.

Pretent you and someone are talking and she tells you that they are building/remodeling a house. But they do not use the terms building or remodeling or house. I'll try again. Maybe the problem is that I was talking about my parents (divorced) and being too selective on what to say. So I'll talk about it as if someone else is telling me something and will exeragate (spelling?) or make it more fiction.

They do tell you they have new carpet in the living room. They tell you they bought a new toilet seat. Or they finished the counter. Or any other number of details included in in building houses or remodeling rooms.

Then when the conversation is over, and someone asks you what you and the other person talked about, can you tell them it was about building or remodeling? Or do you tell them the same details the person told you?

I tell them the details because I have no idea what the main idea (buiding/remodeling) is so really don't know what we talked about. The problem is that often there are too many details to remember afterwards I am sometime confused by the entire conversation. Fortunately mom is ok when she has to repeat things since we only talk weekly. (We live in different states.)

Or maybe it is just something I can't put into words to explain.

i would say that, we talked about the toilet and carpet. but would be aware that if they mentioned that they bought a new one that they did do some renovations. this would be after the converstaion.

during the conversation i may not pick up the hint that they were remodeling the house and that i could use that to open a new, or more detailed topic. it would really depend on the day. As right now, i am trying to improve and forcing my self in to more social situations. I maybe more aware of it as i am also getting more aware of other things. but the awareness isnt translating to any improvement what so ever. And its unclear if i should continue trying as many report no real improvement.

Going off topic (once again) Ive been reading alot of posts, and find they are very different then mine, i dont know if they are edited and cut down. i know if i reedit my posts 3-4 times a 5 paragraphs easy becomes 2 lines..

But i just find it intresting that your way of writing is much like mine, and wonder what it is that make us similar, Is it laziness? a need to express our selfes?
or maybe in school when we were taught punctuation we were not really in a learning mode?
or maybe its a learning disorder that i suspect i have ?
or maybe i just need something to blabber about to give people the opportunity to connect with me ?

I especially love a " ,and" preceded by a comma. i know its wrong but there no where else to cut the sentence
also the some times we both write a small word twice like "included in in building"

Also the first paragraph could of been totally deleted but instead you explained it and mentioned to not think about parents.

Sorry im really not making fun of you , your writing is definatly better then mine, just curious if you know why this is. "I'm on a self awareness campaign"

Question to NT's: Why is it that when a question is directed to you, and you do not know the answer/dont want to answer/whatever, you will sometimes not say anything, even if the question is repeated? If anything that seems like the awkward thing to do, but its very common in NT's.

Also to NT's: Why is it that when you are meeting someone you know is troubled or disabled, why do you always talk to them in an obvious sympathetic tone? This only condescends the person.

Thanks, guys. This thread has been very helpful.

It's a good question that I cant answer at this point. The idea of reading some ones eyes, or looking in to there eyes to see if they are telling the truth and all this is a bunch of crap i think. th eye is simply a ball with a circle in it. there is nothing really there. the fact that both parties know that they are looking at each other is a bit creepy and can make things sensative. but besides this the eye is a geometrical sahpe.

The idea of reading some one from their eye may be generalized here. It is known that when people look in a certain direction it is cause they are remembering something, and in teh other direction means they are fabricating some thing, usuing there imagination rather then mememory. Something that i really cant catch on to. Also the word eyes may just mean looking at there whole face rather then just the eyes.

When i force myself to look some one in the eyes all i see is the eyes. but other people look in the eyes and i guess they must see all the facial expressions and body language other wise there would be no need for that stuff. so in essance it would make alot of sence knowing our tendencies that when we look at eyes we are focused on the exact center of the eye and our perifial vision sees the whole eye ball.

An NT may be focused on the eye ball and they see through their perifial vision the whole face and maybe the hands too as they are being used also. I have heard the expression to look at girls from your perifial vision alot. I cant do this. it is another one of those comcepts that i dont understand. Its like we have perifial vision but we dont use it or something.

but agian its just a thought

I am a 25 year old Aspie who is in a grad school program and working on an amazing volunteer project for my hometown, but I am really depressed. I have been looking for a job for the past year and half in an area of America where jobs aren't plentiful and have no choice but to stay here until my program is over. As a result, I still live at home with my parents because I have no choice. I have friends, but I still feel horribly lonely and feel as though I am behind in life. I am trying the best I can and putting out effort, but everyday seems like a disappointment and I am losing hope. In addition, I feel like I am always the one being joked about and am having trouble trying to keep positive. I was wondering if any of you have had the same problems and what you did about it?

yes, i would imagine many of us were like that at some point, i would suggest keep yourself busy with a fulfilling project that both entertains you and also is an actual project not something that is just in your head. work with some people maybe online, start something new , maybe make a site and try to make it in to something, or start to trade stocks. anything that engages your mind but most importantly benefits you financially. Also i just came back from an appointment with people that work with aspies and came across a new idea. I will be posting something soon about it and we will see what people think,

I really like this thread and feel we may be taking it off topic as i have not yet understood how to reply to a reply while not getting away from the reason of the thread. I think i may be hijacking the thread by going more and more in to detail about things. So I will post my new thing on another thread look for it i will post it soon.