First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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There's really two issues. What you can do to help the other person, and what you can do for yourself.

cool nice

I've noticed most people on the autistic specrtum have some type of obession, something they do repeatitivly and frequently. For me its playing video games. I know others its spinning or bouncing, some run, some work on programing or math or science. Let them do those things. They help calm us down very fast in my expierence. Also audio seems to be a huge thing. Something as simple as a song that they like and heard alot helps because everything they are processing is expected. So they can kinda skip a few steps in processing, the same way when you walk into your room you dont really notice your pillows and blankets, because you already know they are there and, unless there moved, you dont really think about it.

Another thing is to make a battle plan when they are not in overload. find out what helps them calm down, and when they start going into overload, let them do whatever plan of action it is. Me and my girlfriend have an understanding that when i get really upset over stupid things it's almost always due to an overload (im generally a pretty laid back guy) so when that happens i'll go to my computer and play games or listen to music. Its understood that there are no questions, no pursuing, no continuing the arguement. When im done i usually appologise for what i did wrong and we talk about whatever the issue was. It's really hard for NT's to do, especially when some really mean words are said, but i've found it's effective and probly the only way i can have a sucessfull relastionship. And you gotta call it a battle plan, cause it sounds cooler.

This is good. I'm diagnosed Aspergers and this very true for me. Music tames the savage beast. Chocolate is not my friend, and is totally emotionally disruptive. It's like having someone scream in my ear.

Pencil on paper really sucks, plates being put away, markers on cardboard. These are a few of my least favorite things. I can't be around cardboard. It literally flips me out. I have to plug my ears, because I can still hear it if I see it being moved, or rubbed with markers, or rubbbed against each other.

My favorite world to live in is computer programs, or translation dictionaries. I'm a German Translator for patient information and business, as a second job. My first is a Financial Analyst. I write programs to process faster at work. I have a very difficult time communicating with my boss face to face. I communicate very well via email. I would much rather communicate in writing.

All cats have adhd. and aspergers. and bi-polar disorder...

I myself am a mother of a diagnose 8yr old Aspie child. I am alsomarried to a man with Asperger's Disorder. I've grown up a people person, very social, a whiz at sales and communication. So to have a Aspie family, people can't understand. I myself have always seen a person that has Aspergers or Autism as special, unique, interesting. Who wants to be "normal". People in today's society don't thrive on good energy. There out for themselves. I love the honesty, integrity, high focus, and interesting conversation that happen in an Aspie household. With the calming techniques used with in the home. Most of my son's "signs" show when he's in school or a kid social event. I dislike the world for not embracing the "difference." Kids can be mean all and all in the end. It's not that they don't seem right it's more of the unknown. But a noticed difference of somesort. My son is described as a bright, strong minded, happy, funny. on the other hand they put an Occupational therapist in the back of the class to see who stands out. (1st grade) and yes, my son was chosen. He is of balance a bit and clumsy, low motor skills and low muscle tone. Talks with high vocabulary and seems witty and funny. but an in your face kind of friendship. (appears annoying) only good in mind. but does odd things at bad times. (can't see social cues) causes frustration. But to any person ever knowing him or spending time with him since day 1. would not agree with an Asperger's Diagnosis. You look at him or my husband and you just see someone special. Not everyone understands. but they never do Thanks for reading

Yea i honestly think of aspergers and autism as the first actual (syndrom) where special really means special and not dumb. Most of my expierences even with autistic kids who are as low functioning as they come, have some sort of extreme genuisness in there. I believe its genuissness because even a genuis often times cannot replicate what they can do.

I'm still new here but I suppose I am NT. I had to look it up and Wikipedia gave me the answer.

In my experience with my boyfriend (undiagnosed Aspie) I find myself always asking him what he is thinking or feeling, especially if we are talking about serious subjects. For instance, I make a statement or ask a question of him and then there is this silence. I know he is trying to formulate in his head what to say but sometimes the silence is agonizing. We seem to do better with online communication about these serious issues. I think it gives him time to figure out what he wants to say without hurting my feelings too badly or saying something in a hurtful way.

I think it is so hard to ask most people what they are thinking because sometimes you don't want to know the real answer. Like, if you're in a romantic relationship and you've just been intimate and you ask your partner "What are you thinking?" you might want to hear "how much I love/care about you" instead of "I was wondering about how much I could get for some of my magic cards." (This is usually the case in my situation anyway.)

Hmmm...did this help at all?

I'm the NT in this relationship.

I think communication and maybe empathy are our biggest problems. He shuts down when we have to talk about serious things and it drives me absolutely crazy. I am extroverted, very emotional, have my own problems with depression and severely low self-esteem and that contributes to our communication difficulties. I tend to cry when something is hard for me to deal with and I think that shuts him down even more.

One thing I would like my partner to understand is that I process feelings very differently than he does and I need an someone to lean on emotionally. I wish he could put himself in my shoes and understand why some things upset me so much that don't bother him.

Wow, that hit it right on the head. Communication is sooooo hard. To get him to stop obsessing over a perceived slight seems to be impossible.
Ofter after hours of discussion there seems to be some break-through but it doesn't last.

I totally agree with jennyishere here about what you can do to show you care. No, there probably isn't anything you can do to help a problem at work but making him feel like he has an ally and someone to listen to him would definitely help.

I find it difficult to even obtain a relationship due to the fact that girls often seem not to believe me when I tell them I have interest in them. It's almost a "wow, the robot has feelings" type of response. It's hard for them to understand that it's just my nature to be kindof faceless. I think it's because I seem normal enough at first glance that people often can't tell there's anything different about me until they know me very well. Also, people rarely know me well, as my difficulties with emotional expression often keep a barrier between me and those I'd like to know better.

You'd be suprised. I know its probably hard, but the people you have liked so far are obviously not the right people for you. My fiancee is Aspie, and he laughs at everything. He is always positive often to the point where it could be offensive because its generally the only outward emotion he shows. He has a lot of trouble interpreting social cues and non verbal communication. I could tell when I met him that he had Asperger's, but I was still interested in him even though he didn't really show any emotion or interest in me at all. One day he came into my room when he was over and asked me if I liked him, with no hint of whether or not he liked me too. When I said yes he was excited but didn't show it and just left the room. He's awkward. I love him. It will happen for you too I'm sure, you don't want to be with someone that won't even try and understand you.

I had the problem with the blank stare (which I attributed to an uncorrected astigmatism) and deadpanning. The advice I always got was "you need to smile more", but when I tried to force a smile, it just made me look crazy. At some point I realized that if I could recall a moment that actually made me smile, I had no problems smiling naturally. I eventually got used to doing this when I was chatting to people and it became habitual. Never could quite get the eyes to focus correctly, and it still looks like I'm staring at a point a few feet beyond the back of someone's head. But oddly enough, a smile seems to distract people from my other quirks enough that it's possible for me to enjoy a comfortable social life.

Of course, if you're deadpanning, learn the art of "leg pulling" and make the best of it. Steven Wright made his entire career doing exactly that.

This is a good question--which is why it's so difficult to answer. I would advise you to wait until a woman expresses some interest in getting to know you better, although I understand that may be difficult to discern. I was pretty direct with an Aspie guy about my attraction for him, but I may be unusual that way. Early on in our friendship, though, I remarked to him how very guarded he was and how bad it made me feel that he didn't seem to have much trust in me. He simply replied that he was shy, and then alluded to a past heartache. A year later, when I finally realized he had AS, I felt really bad about all the times I misunderstood or misinterpreted his behavior and responses. Of course, it's up to the individual whether or not to disclose his/her AS condition, and when and how to do so. But I think my friend missed a good opportunity when I asked him about his guardedness.

Hope that helps!

o.k. my question is why does everyone NT think I'm angry or upset or even for some reason snobby, when I'm just not being all smiley and fake like it seems to me normal people are so often. No offense intended to anyone.