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Seanmw
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22 Jul 2010, 3:58 am

ouinon wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
ouinon wrote:
The questions that I am asking are:

Does the girlfriend know that seanmw is trying to get the money together to go see her?

If so is she happy about it and looking forward to seeing him; ie. does she want him to visit her? Or does she seem rather reluctant about it, has she tried to put him off doing so, for any reason however "nice", ( like saying that she doesn't want him to waste his money, that it's a long trip for him, or that she isn't feeling well enough for visitors, or whatever )?

Does she know that he may be able to get the money for the trip with help from people on WP, or does she think he is very unlikely to be able to find enough money? ie. if she isn't telling the truth, if the "scam" in the whole situation is the highly sympathetic attention she gets from seanmw, rather than anything financial, is she feeling fairly confident that he won't be able to pay for a flight and therefore that her story won't be blown by him getting there?
[ She ] knows that i am trying to get money to go see her, yes. She hasn't seemed at all reluctant. Hasn't tried to put me off in any way & i told her i thought i would prolly be able to get enough money, yes.

I doubt she's just scamming for sympathy besides the fact that if she's scamming for sympathy, that'd be ridiculous 'cause it'd mean her mom is in on it too, 'cause i've also talked to her mom once or twice when Adrienne had passed out when we were on the phone. & also because it's the kind of thing that would eventually be found out in any case. So doing that wouldn't make much sense...

It wouldn't make sense to me either, but apparently "the girfriend with a terminal illness" is a classic "scam", providing emotional nourishment for a certain sort of person, and sometimes money too as a bonus. I can't imagine ever doing anything like that, but there are people for whom this kind of thing is deeply satisfying.

On the face of it someone who is introduced on the phone as your girlfriend's mother should be her mother, ( and in a different world would be ), but it *might* also be her flatmate or her sister, or a friend. I wouldn't have these sort of suspicions if I hadn't already heard of three such cases, one on WP which caused a lot of grief to a longstanding member here.

And she may be fairly sure that you would never get enough money to go and visit her, ... and may also not care very much if you did find out.

I am finding it very hard to swallow that three days of bad headache just two weeks ago, ( around the 8-11 July ) have already been diagnosed as a cancerous brain tumour and that an operation has already been scheduled for it for the 29 July, and am surprised that she is being left alone at home all day in this dangerous condition which causes her to black out etc.

... in other words I still don't believe her story, and I suspect that quite a lot of other people here don't either, or there would have been a lot more pledges to give money by now. Very sorry.

I hope for your sake that it is not a scam, and also that your girlfriend's tumour is not as serious as it currently seems to be, but at the moment have no proof that any of it is real.
.
well, aside from the head pain, there's also been nosebleeds and some chest pains. I don't know what particular symptoms she reported to the doctor, i just know that she'd been telling me about headaches for those three days before she went in :( .
Also she didn't black out directly from the tumor. She was getting up to stand and then her knees buckled and she collapsed, hitting her head on the corner of her bed on the way down and it knocked her out. Her mom only woke up and found her like that 'cause her dog had started barking after she fell :(


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Seanmw
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22 Jul 2010, 4:14 am

ouinon wrote:
zena4 wrote:
Sometimes, cancer grows very quickly, real fast. And it can be diagnosed easily if the signs are there.

Wikipedia wrote:
The definitive diagnosis of brain tumor can only be confirmed by histological examination of tumor tissue samples obtained either by means of brain biopsy or open surgery. The histological examination is essential for determining the appropriate treatment and the correct prognosis. This examination, performed by a pathologist, typically has three stages: interoperative examination of fresh tissue, preliminary microscopic examination of prepared tissues, and followup examination of prepared tissues after immunohistochemical staining or genetic analysis.

The Wikipedia page about "Brain Tumours" is at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_tumor

So *maybe*, ( just *maybe* ), the surgery that she supposedly has programmed for the 29 July is actually for diagnostic purposes, but in which case why is she saying that the doctor told her, on the basis of three days of headache, that she definitely has a brain tumour, which may, or may not, be cancerous.
.
there are other methods of detection i believe, aren't there :? ?
besides, it's my understanding that wikipedia is not the most reliable source of information. Anyone can edit it, there's no promise that it's information isn't outdated, and nor is there any that the people who upload it's information know everything.

can't MRI be used?
http://adsabs.harvard.edu/abs/2005SPIE.5747.2012I
&
http://www.cancercenter.com/brain-cancer/mri.cfm
&
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4006173.stm

i think it's clear that wikipedia needs an update 8)


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Last edited by Seanmw on 22 Jul 2010, 4:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

zena4
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22 Jul 2010, 4:22 am

And even if it's a "maybe", she could have taken it for "certain", being upset and ill as she seems to be :?



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22 Jul 2010, 5:24 am

Seanmw wrote:
Taupey wrote:
Get the PayPal AppI
want toView my PayPal balance
Send money
Set or change my PIN
More information
How to use my PIN
About PayPal Mobil
-------------------------------------------------------------
This is what I get on my BlackBerry when I click on your buttons on both your blog & on the fundraising website and I get the exact same thing when I click on the link you posted above.
-------------------------------------------------------------
When I click on any of these links, I get a login page and I don't get anything that allows me to register. When I click on the PayPal Appl, I get that it's not BlackBerry supported. :(
Idk if it'd show it on the blackberry, but on a normal computer at the very top of that page there's a link that says "sign up" :? . Is there anyone nearby you know with a computer or could it be done at the local library's :( ?


I used my neighbor's across the hall a couple of times but it's not working at the moment. Since neither one of them used it much to begin with, I doubt they're in a hurry to get it fixed or buy a new one.
-------------------------------------------------------------
There was a couple who lived around the corner that had a computer, but he lost his job and they had to move to Virginia Beach to live with her mother.
-------------------------------------------------------------
I said that I would try to go to the library and register on PayPal earlier in this thread. But my right knee is swollen and very painful. So I have mobility issues at the moment. So it may take some time.
------------------------------------------------------------
That's why I asked if you have a P.O. Box where I could send my donation to you by mail. I could write a check and give it to the postal carrier to mail it for. me.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Love, Taupey :alien:



Seanmw
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22 Jul 2010, 5:35 am

Taupey wrote:
Seanmw wrote:
Taupey wrote:
Get the PayPal AppI
want toView my PayPal balance
Send money
Set or change my PIN
More information
How to use my PIN
About PayPal Mobil
-------------------------------------------------------------
This is what I get on my BlackBerry when I click on your buttons on both your blog & on the fundraising website and I get the exact same thing when I click on the link you posted above.
-------------------------------------------------------------
When I click on any of these links, I get a login page and I don't get anything that allows me to register. When I click on the PayPal Appl, I get that it's not BlackBerry supported. :(
Idk if it'd show it on the blackberry, but on a normal computer at the very top of that page there's a link that says "sign up" :? . Is there anyone nearby you know with a computer or could it be done at the local library's :( ?


I used my neighbor's across the hall a couple of times but it's not working at the moment. Since neither one of them used it much to begin with, I doubt they're in a hurry to get it fixed or buy a new one.
-------------------------------------------------------------
There was a couple who lived around the corner that had a computer, but he lost his job and they had to move to Virginia Beach to live with her mother.
-------------------------------------------------------------
I said that I would try to go to the library and register on PayPal earlier in this thread. But my right knee is swollen and very painful. So I have mobility issues at the moment. So it may take some time.
------------------------------------------------------------
That's why I asked if you have a P.O. Box where I could send my donation to you by mail. I could write a check and give it to the postal carrier to mail it for. me.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Love, Taupey :alien:
If your knee's hurting that badly, of course i wouldn't ask you to do anything like that. Once again, hope you get that sorted out and feeling better soon :) .

i'll look into the P.O. box then. Though it could also just be sent to my home address. I'm not one to give that out to the general public, but there are a few people on here i trust.


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ouinon
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22 Jul 2010, 7:02 am

Seanmw wrote:
ouinon wrote:
Wikipedia wrote:
The definitive diagnosis of brain tumor can only be confirmed by histological examination of tumor tissue samples obtained either by means of brain biopsy or open surgery. The histological examination is essential for determining the appropriate treatment and the correct prognosis. This examination, performed by a pathologist, typically has three stages: interoperative examination of fresh tissue, preliminary microscopic examination of prepared tissues, and follow-up examination of prepared tissues after immunohistochemical staining or genetic analysis.
The Wikipedia page about "Brain Tumours" is at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brain_tumor
there are other methods of detection i believe, aren't there :? ? can't MRI be used?

Of course MRI is used, but it only provides a "probable" diagnosis, which would have to be confirmed by biopsy, because MRI imaging of tumours is only variably accurate, ( as the whole section on diagnosis from the Brain tumour page at Wikipedia explains: ) and can not be used for determining the correct treatment, ( which would include surgery, medications, etc ), nor for a prognosis.

Wikipedia wrote:
Imaging plays a central role in the diagnosis of brain tumors. Early imaging methods —invasive and sometimes dangerous— such as pneumoencephalography and cerebral angiography, have been abandoned in recent times in favor of non-invasive, high-resolution techniques, such as computed tomography (CT)-scans and especially magnetic resonance imaging (MRI). Neoplasms will often show as differently coloured masses (also referred to as processes) in CT or MRI results.

* Benign brain tumors often show up as hypodense (darker than brain tissue) mass lesions on cranial CT-scans. On MRI, they appear either hypo- (darker than brain tissue) or isointense (same intensity as brain tissue) on T1-weighted scans, or hyperintense (brighter than brain tissue) on T2-weighted MRI, although the appearance is variable.
* Contrast agent uptake, sometimes in characteristic patterns, can be demonstrated on either CT or MRI-scans in most malignant primary and metastatic brain tumors.
* Perifocal edema , or pressure-areas, or where the brain tissue has been compressed by an invasive process also appears hyperintense on T2-weighted MRI, they might indicate the presence a diffuse neoplasm (unclear outline)

This is because these tumors disrupt the normal functioning of the blood-brain barrier and lead to an increase in its permeability. However it is not possible to diagnose high versus low grame gliomas based on enhancement pattern alone.

The definitive diagnosis of brain tumor can only be confirmed by histological examination of tumor tissue samples obtained either by means of brain biopsy or open surgery. The histological examination is essential for determining the appropriate treatment and the correct prognosis. This examination, performed by a pathologist, typically has three stages: interoperative examination of fresh tissue, preliminary microscopic examination of prepared tissues, and followup examination of prepared tissues after immunohistochemical staining or genetic analysis.

It is possible that as Xena says, she may have taken a "maybe a tumour" statement from her doctor for "definitely a tumour", and be mistaking a diagnostic process ( biopsy or whatever ) for surgery, but I am still skeptical.

Do doctors in the USA really give MRI's after three days of headaches, ... especially if the headaches go away again within the next few days? ( plus no vomiting, no fever? )?

An MRI does not give unambiguous results. The article that you linked to above, seanmw, describing a new way to interpret MRI images to distinguish between abcesses and tumours, ( which current MRI imaging is not able to reliably distinguish between ) is/was about a process still at the experimental stage, ( "more trials are needed" it says ).

Is it just me, or doesn't it seem weird that someone with a brain-tumour apparently requiring almost immediate surgery, a tendency to fall over and knock herself out, nosebleeds, chest pains, ( not to say the unexplained increases in her "libido" which you describe on your thread in the Haven :lol ), etc, is left alone at home all day?

And I am surprised that an additional head-injury resulting in loss of consciousness in someone with a brain-tumour didn't apparently warrant an immediate visit to the Emergency section of the nearest hospital.

Prognosis/predicted lifespan after diagnosis of a brain tumour seems to vary enormously from a little over a year to 10-15 years, ( to much longer in some cases ) depending on the type, so, ( if she is telling you the truth ), even in the worst case scenario you still have a while in which to collect money for the trip. :) If I were you I would at least wait to hear the results of the ( hypothetical ) biopsy/diagnostic procedure, before spending large amounts of money on plane fares.
.



melbi
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22 Jul 2010, 8:21 am

hi guys,

I'm suppose to be "away"... but I got a pm from sean sitting there for more than a couple days, and I couldn't help but opened it today. Anyway, I have pm sean about the donation thing.

As for the brain tumour. I just called a friend of mine, who is a doctor (intern).

So the following is what he told me:

Diagnosis: Scan

Brain tumour: Primary or Secondary.
Primary = originated in the brain
Secondary = metastasized from other tumour in the body, meaning that the person has a malignant tumour somewhere else, meaning that the person has cancer, and is already metastasizing.

*I think I also learned this in my pathology class :P*

Primary tumour in brain, most of them are benign, rarely malignant.

Can benign tumour kill? Yes, if it grows too big over time, and affect the brain.

Treatment for benign tumour? Radiation ---> decrease the size of the tumour


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melbi
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22 Jul 2010, 9:00 am

Since I can't fall asleep yet, I decided to look into some formation about brain tumour on eMedicine.
http://emedicine.medscape.com/

So this is what I learned.

Gliomas, metastases, meningiomas, pituitary adenomas, and acoustic neuromas account for 95% of all brain tumors.

Then I looked into each catogory except for the metastases.

pituitary adenomas
Pituitary adenomas are almost always benign with no malignant potential.
Pituitary adenomas are slow growing, encapsulated tumors of epithelial origin that penetrate adjacent structures.
In United State, pituitary tumors represent 10-15% of all intracranial tumors.
The mortality rate related to pituitary tumors is low.
These tumors occur mainly in women, with a female-to-male ratio of 4:1.
Three options are available for the management of pituitary adenomas: surgery, medical therapy, and radiation therapy.

acoustic neuroma
Acoustic neuromas are intracranial, extra-axial tumors that arise from the Schwann cell sheath investing either the vestibular or cochlear nerve.
Although most acoustic neuromas grow slowly, some grow quite quickly and can double in volume within 6 months to a year.
Acoustic neuromas are managed in one of the following 3 ways: (1) surgical excision of the tumor, (2) arresting tumor growth using stereotactic radiation therapy, or (3) careful serial observation.

meningiomas
Meningioma, the term coined by Harvey Cushing, refers to a set of tumors that arise contiguously to the meninges.
Meningiomas usually grow slowly, and they may produce severe morbidity before causing death.
Meningiomas afflict women more often than men. The male-to-female ratio ranges from 1:1.4 to 1:2.8.
Medical care for meningiomas has been disappointing. It is restricted either to perioperative drugs or to medications that are used after all other means of treatment have failed.
The use of corticosteroids preoperatively and postoperatively has significantly decreased the mortality and morbidity rates associated with surgical resection.
The current experience with chemotherapy is disappointing.

Gliomas
Brainstem gliomas are tumors that occur in the region of the brain referred to as the brain stem, which is the area between the aqueduct of Sylvius and the fourth ventricle.
These tumors have a predilection to originate from the left side. Most are located in the pons; however, medulla and midbrain may be involved as well.
Brainstem gliomas are highly aggressive brain tumors.
Some reports have suggested a slight male preponderance, whereas others have failed to observe any sex predilection.
Sudden death can result from increased intracranial pressure and subsequent cerebral herniation. This may be a consequence either of edema induced by the tumor or of hemorrhage into the neoplasm.
Treatment of brainstem gliomas has been frustrating; at this point, new therapies have yielded little benefit over conventional treatment with radiotherapy alone.

ok guys, I'm tired...


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melbi
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22 Jul 2010, 9:06 am

hale_bopp wrote:
two of her photos look kinda different too actually >_< I hope she is telling the truth but I so think its wise to get as much information as possible.


wise words hale_bopp


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Lene
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22 Jul 2010, 2:25 pm

Sean, if your girlfriend knows you are raising money for her and is happy with it, why not ask her to help you?

I'm not trying to be mean and say we should make her jump through hoops like some 419 scammer, but some evidence that what she says is true would go a good way towards alleviating suspicion.

I would suggest something like that she email you a picture of her holding her medical diagnosis, signed by her doctor, or a signed prescription for whatever drugs she's being prescribed. Hell, even her standing beside the MRI machine might do the trick.

Unfortunately, at this moment in time though, I will err with those who suspect something's a little odd.

Maybe not a monetary scam (although the price of this trip seems to be jumping quite a bit) but as others have said, the history itself sounds unusual. I'm not saying it's not possible; tumours are weird things, and perhaps in America, treatment differs, but that does make it harder to tell if she's being truthful or not, especially if she hasn't told you anything about the tumour itself.

I think that if even you have not met your girlfriend yet, then it is a bad idea to trust her completely. Sorry.



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22 Jul 2010, 2:36 pm

ouinon wrote:
It wouldn't make sense to me either, but apparently "the girfriend with a terminal illness" is a classic "scam", providing emotional nourishment for a certain sort of person, and sometimes money too as a bonus. I can't imagine ever doing anything like that, but there are people for whom this kind of thing is deeply satisfying.

... in other words I still don't believe her story, and I suspect that quite a lot of other people here don't either, or there would have been a lot more pledges to give money by now. Very sorry.

I hope for your sake that it is not a scam, and also that your girlfriend's tumour is not as serious as it currently seems to be, but at the moment have no proof that any of it is real.
.


i agree. Someone once pretended their mother had a brain tumour to manipulate me and even when things sounded abit shifty i gave them the benefit of the doubt because i thought there was no way someone would sink so low and have the bare faced cheek to lie about something like this to someone who cared about them, all for their own benefit. they went into detailed stories and gave updates on treatment, even pretending they were on the phone to her crying because her hair was falling out whilst stood infront of me. but i found out from the mother herself that it was 100% untrue.
so no offence but ive learnt my lesson and something about this strikes me as odd. i wouldnt mind donating otherwise, sorry



Lene
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22 Jul 2010, 3:01 pm

[from the website]

Quote:
On July 11th, 2010 though, (my birthday), and after 3 days complaining of severe headaches and considerable trouble sleeping because of the resulting pain, she finally went in to check it out. They found out she has a brain tumor. Her doctor said it's likely cancerous...


Correction. This is extremely odd.

Before I say anything more, can I ask where did your girlfriend go for her diagnosis?



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22 Jul 2010, 3:13 pm

i dont mean to go all sherlock on ya'll but i remember reading a post before with him showing a picture of the gf and saying she'd said she wore a 32A bra- the girl in the picture definately did not. this was before any of the cancer scare and i remember thinking there was something shifty about it even then. I'm abit worried about this sean fella getting taken advantage of:/



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22 Jul 2010, 3:38 pm

For what it's worth:

I've had someone (a girlfriend, ish) tell me she was dying when she wasn't. That was bad. I'd folded so many damn paper cranes before I found out. Think I chucked some in the Wear.

I've also known someone (an ex-girlfriend, ish) die suddenly from something similar. That was really bad. Mainly it just seems so unfair on her.

Anyway, what I mean to say is:

Best case scenario - she's honourable but mistaken.
Second best scenario - she's pulling an emotional scam.
Worst scenario - she's honourable and right.

I was never quite sure whether the wish worked.


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22 Jul 2010, 3:50 pm

Seanmw wrote:
UPDATE:
Would've replied to these sooner, but i had to sleep. I'd been up for 2 straight days working on all this stuff and kinda burned myself out.
So i got a current plane ticket cost posted up (sorta more than i thought it would be since the last time i checked prices was a few months ago, i didn't know they would go up that much :oops: ). Looking at conservatively about $555 round-trip.
& got the site up, it's in my signature. It's still not really finished, i'm still working on it, but it's there. At the very least i got most of the content on the home page filled in, a paypal button on the donation page (though i think it aid something about having to wait a week before it'll work), and some important dates on the calendar page before i fell asleep. I'll try to get more on there today and refine a few things, but it might be a bit slow 'cause making nice websites from scratch and a few generic templates is pretty new to me.


I hope you get enough to be able to see your girlfriend and I wish you the best.



Last edited by Jono on 22 Jul 2010, 3:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Dilbert
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22 Jul 2010, 3:52 pm

I hope I'm wrong... and I kept quiet because this is so sad if it is true. I can't help but speak up now:

First she's not your girlfriend. You haven't even met her yet. You aren't even dating, let alone in a relationship. Keep your distance until you get to know her better. (Actually, this is good advice for anyone here. Do not get emotionally vested until you get to know the other person very well and can tell if things could work out long term or not.)

Second, this looks and smells like a scam. Watch out if she comes up with a last minute reason why you can't fly over there to visit, and instead asks you to send her the money. I hope this doesn't happen but I'm just being realistic here.