Female Aspies= Borderline personality disorder??

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FWIW...

My mom was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in her 70s.

Been with my husband (ASD) and my mom (BPD). Yeah, they bother had "rages" and seemingly inflexable.

My husband has meltdowns from sensory overloads. They are almost never----->person specifically triggered. He was upset something happened. Usually it is the whole combined situation that triggered it. Whole bunch of little things gathered into a tsunami that overwhelmed him. Very rarely did he ever think person A did B that triggered C on purpose (as an adult).

My mother believed everyone was out to screw her. When she lashed out it was very personal and manipulative. Emotionally she was a beast that could not be fed. She could also read people very well.

So, I think BPD gets tacked on by lazy psychiatrists. It takes some work to tease out why the rages come.

As for bipolar not knowing when manic. HA! I have bipolar I, and I know when I'm slipping into a mania. Years ago , I didn't do anything about it because a beginning mania is great. It goes horribly wrong when it flips to dsyphoric. lol..

I wonder why no one here gets offended when autism gets compared to BPD but yet do when it's compared to narcissism or sociopathy? I have seen victims compare BPD to NPD and even the borderlines find it offensive but to the victims they both look the same from the outside. But the only difference is how they feel on the inside.


My ex found my blog and said she had BPD. Honestly she doesn't fit the stereotype of BPD because she never threatened suicide, never self harmed, never attempted suicide. But she did act controlling because she would act like she didn't want me to leave and she was very clingy and would call me names like self centered when she didn't get her way and I felt no matter what I did was never good enough. She also did things at the spur of the moment and would make plans and not follow through. She did have really low self esteem so whatever she thought of herself, she assumed others thought the same of her. She also lacked empathy and didn't care for how I felt and how I reacted didn't matter. She also acted like she hated me and didn't understand me and then other times she acted like she did understand me and that she liked me and she would ignore me unless I acted a certain way she liked. She also had to listen in on my phone conversations to my parents and always wanted to know what we said and what I said so I had to wait when she wasn't home to do it. She also would twist what I say and add to what I say and always be offended and she always cried and it was like no matter what I said and how I said it, I was always walking on eggshells because she would always take things the wrong way. Even knowing about all this now, it doesn't doesn't get rid of my anger and hate and hurt feelings because of how I was treated and the fact she didn't take responsibility by apologizing for everything and only wrote her typical narc apology instead "Sorry for how you feel about me" and denying she did any of it I said she did and was like "I wish you would read about my diagnoses to understand me better" as if it was okay for how she treated me and I must accept the abuse like this was okay? So f**k the borderlines who play the victim and think their victims should be more understanding. Hey if you abuse people, don't get mad when you see them hurt by your behavior and accuse them of not having compassion. That is like telling a victim to have compassion for their rapist and now you want them to have compassion for their abuser (you). I don't care about your diagnoses and mental illness, if you are abusive and mistreat someone, you don't deserve s**t. Go to DBT. If you hate yourself, good. Get help so you will be a better person and control your behavior and not be an abuser. f**k you all who blame your victims and blame for how they feel.

But I have heard worse stories on the Reddit forum about BPD loved ones by victims and many of their borderlines sound like narcissists because they are the same type of stories I have heard in NarcissisticAbuse subreddit and in raisedbynarcissists and then there is raisedbyborderlines and all same type of stories and similar ones. People with BPD hate those borderline subreddits. Also out in mind that many of their abusers are armchair diagnosed by their victims. But yet behaviors they have ranted about they were hurt by, borderlines could relate to and then they feel threatened by it just like how aspies feel threatened when they read NTs being hurt by their aspie behavior on ASPartners or other websites where people talk about being in a relationship with an aspie. But it doesn't doesn't remove how I feel about my ex and get rid of my triggers.

I'm a guy but I was misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality instead of Aspegers. I was also misdiagnosed with Schizoid Personality thou. The so-called "experts" ruled Aspergers out because I communicated too well verbally & seemed too intelligent & they were surprised I had a high-school diploma even thou I received accommodations cuz of learning disabilities. I got the Borderline diagnoses because I had LOTS of meltdowns & I was also dealing with the breakup with my 1st girlfriend who was the 1st person to understand me. I was having lots of panic attacks worrying about her cuz of generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder & bad OCD which had caused me to act unstable with her. I fell into a psychotic depression & was having a lot of mood swings & slashed my arm 9x during one of em. I don't have those problems now that I'm over the depression & I'm on a med for my GAD, panic disorder, & another med for my OCD. I don't think I would get diagnosed with Borderline now.

People with borderline personality are full of rage and anger and never get over the abuse trauma of their past. People with borderline personality will look at anyone or anything to blame things on. Borderline personality is the hardest disorder to treat with therapy because the abuse/trauma of the past can not be erased from memory.

Not me, nope.
In another life, that might've been another label I end up collecting or pondering about.
One of the 'what could have been's if I got unlucky enough to be misdiagnosed.


The anger I have is more to do with either emotional dysregulation or is channelled properly to somewhere else once I have the right amount of EF. Inconsistent EF equals inconsistent stability and functioning.
Put me in a less functioning spectrum of EF, it can superficially looked like the labels that most autistic females seem to end up being misdiagnosed with.
I'm innately one of those intense types of autistics that resembled as someone with emotional instability. So I got a trait that mismatches levels of (internal) intensity 'input' and regulation or tolerance that supposed to counter/manage that. Thus my known trait for being moody.

If it were up to entirely me, I would've been more alexithymic or less intense -- because I've been fighting this sensitivity for as long as I could remember.

I simply am the kind who would likely punch a wall or two because of emotional/interceptive intensity I have to (unwillingly) contain, then move on and hopefully no one bugs me too much about it. I always am.
Otherwise, I would've been more coolheaded instead of confused and frustrated.
As for the self-image... All I get is this vague contradiction between pride and humbleness. I don't see myself in various dichtomous traits such as a saint or a sinner, not even smart or dumb, let alone pretty or ugly no matter what everyone else remarked.

Dislikes the idea of attention, but as someone who's emotionally delayed any (unwanted) attention is met with threat.
I don't threaten people to sought me out and act concern, I threaten people to get away from me period.

I don't have this 'worry' of abandonment nor this fear of loneliness. Not even towards those I'm very attached to.
My culture helps a lot -- yet mine is more, like, 'they tried and failed all over'. Overtime I get to learn and appreciate that they did tried and know to themselves not to try too hard.

My social life was so fulfilling, far from bleak and dark that I get to learn how to appreciate many things. And learn more than just that.

Only to realize that I'm actually asocial, that my social disinterest is more than just 'because they don't get it', or that 'because I'm different from most' or any negative justifications or anything related to dissonance.
I never felt lonely, but I still do feel this missing level of belongingness where people deeply understands and do more than tolerate.
Negative experiences only gave me general distrust and overall cynicism, than something to relive or even emphasized deep within my psyche.

One of the most important things I learnt is to distinguish between moving on and accepting it, from denying and burying the memory.
It's one of the keys as to why there are times I can willingly put myself into less comfortable social situations without being in a shameless or reckless moods and states.

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My current DX is mild mood disorder; I am self-diagnosed ASD. Some background: I was given anti-depressants in college which made me manic; when I was admitted to psych, the only action was to stop meds. Afterwards I was put on lithium with no explanation. In my 30s I was diagnosed as "mild mood disorder" (Bipolar II) and put on the lowest doses of various meds. When I was having unrelated(?) medical problems, I was removed from all meds. Now in my 40s with a daughter with ASD traits, it becomes fairly obvious to me for myself (and my mom).

Before I knew ASD could apply to my family, someone suggested Borderline could describe my mom, but when I read a book about it, it didn't quite fit. That bothered me - what was it? It was something. My mom is brilliant but dysfunctional. She recently took the AQ test at my request and scored low aspie traits (as I did the first time, mine went up from there as I shed my mask).

I see lots of talk online about "co-morbid" DX so it seems to get all mixed up. My psychiatrist friend likes to treat a person not labels, but I think labels can be useful to know, e.g. some ASD folks are sensitive to meds, so proceed with caution.