The worst thing a bully has done to you
I was not really bullied as a child/teen. Socially excluded, yes, but not always and not by everyone.
I was sexually assaulted a lot; more times than I can remember. But that was not bullying. It was just the way men act in my country, and the only reason that I had more trouble with it than other girls was because I was very naive and didn't know how to get rid of those men. I thought I had to stay polite; I was drilled to be polite.
The things that hurt more were what my parents said to me. I know they loved me, but they didn't know what to do with me.
I was called lazy, selfish, rude, hysterical, antisocial, difficult, abnormal, and I was told that I always ruined the atmosphere, that they would put me in a home and my mother would sigh that she wished I was more like my cousin (who was a proper girly girl).
featherbrained
Deinonychus
Joined: 20 Nov 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 347
Location: wrong universe
i was always being called a crackhead. it really hurt my feelings.
sometimes this group of kids would drive by in a car and call me a freak, and an animal. i guess i'm ugly.
these same kids would come up behind me when i was walking and throw rocks and bottles at me. they'd follow me around. this girl pushed me once and i fell in the snow. i didn't fight back. i feel like i chose to fall, you know? it happened in slow motion. she also caught me walking at two am one night and punched me in the face.
always in groups.
but the 'crackhead' thing bothers me. when i went to a therapist for the first time recently and he was asking routine questions, he asked if i had ever done crack and i started crying. i never have of course but i thought he thought i was a crackhead too.
i've been bullied a lot, i can't remember it all. don't want to.
I actually just came into contact with a bully of mine from 8th grade. I am 23 now. I was in walgreens buying a toothbrush. It was on sale for 5 bucks with a walgreens membership card(which i do not have) and the regular price was 11 bucks. In these cases the store clerk usually scans a store card so i went to the register to pay. The clerk told me it's 11 bucks and i cant scan my card for you. In cases like these I usually look to see who is behind me and ask them if i could kindly borrow their card. Without looking thoroughly at the person behind me I asked if they had aa card. THIS PERSON WAS MY OLD BULLY. He gave me a dirty look and said no. Im a lot bigger than him, but i have so much anxiety that i just let it go. Today I was super anxious. To make matters worse the clerk told me i could sign up for my own card and when i did my dad's name and address flashed on the screen(after i typed in my number)...so now he knows tht. I used to always imagine that if I ever came into contact with my former bullies again i would tell them off but time and time again i have always been a little scrawny b***h(mentally)
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AQ 25
Your Aspie score: 101 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 111 of 200
You seem to have both Aspie and neurotypical traits
Stole my zippo lighter after I dropped it, with the help of a couple of friends. I ended up getting sent to the bad kids school after I smacked him upside the head and pulled his pants off to find where he hid my zippo. I was on the verge of getting kicked out anyway but this was the nail in the coffin. of course I was the one who was the victim in the 1st place, but like usual I'm the bad guy for defending my property and right to not be f****d with for someones amusement.
Only physical bullying I experienced was getting put in a headlock while someone else filmed it, kind of like 'happy slapping', and being slapped in form time and the teachers did nothing! I agree with other posters, the emotional and verbal bullying I experienced was MUCH worse. It really gets to the core of your being. The phrase 'sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt me' is complete tosh! Having your heart broken and your mind tormented is the worst injury anyone could ever blight you with. Physical wounds heal also. Not to say that physical bullying isnt bad, its horrendous!
One boy pretended that he liked me and touched me inappropriately, sometimes in front of the whole class! He once even pinned me up against a car, while my so-called best friend laughed on, but I got away before he could do whatever he planned! This went on for years and incidents occurred daily. The whole year was in on the joke, flirting with me in front of everyone to make me feel weak.
But eventually, after this causing me great anxiety in coming to school, I arranged a meeting with him, told him everything that happened in plain talk and the horrible effects it had on me (anorexia, social anxiety, depression, suicide attempts),and he apologised! He said it was all just a joke. I came out the bigger person.
So to anyone experiencing bullying right now, I URGE you to think that, in the bully/bullies minds anyway, you're probably not being singled out as a victim because they hate you. They have no personal feelings attached to their bullying at all. They just torment those who are more vulnerable. Some may even apologise when confronted, albeit very few (I was lucky). Just remember, its not you at all. They have the issues, not you!
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,544
Location: the island of defective toy santas
those bullies just made some bad karma for themselves in their future lifetimes in which they will have to atone for their present-day evils.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,870
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Mostly psychological damage....like one thing that was common at various schools was other kids liked to get me upset by screwing with me(either by talking about me or insulting me to my face if it was free time or lunch till I couldn't take it anymore or if the teacher was talking it didn't take them long to figure out sensory issues luckily that was mostly up until like 5th grade as is I cannot stand people sitting or standing behind me) when the teacher wasn't looking or paying attention till I reacted noticeably and got singled out by the teacher for mis-behaving. 'You're making it up.', 'That's no excuse.' ect so what choice did I have but to start believing my feelings weren't valid and even punishable and start suppressing how I felt of course it would build up and come out eventually which would give me another round of 'you're overreacting.' 'you need to grow up ect, ect but sometimes this was from family who simply had no idea what I was dealing every day at school.
Aside from that the first school experience I had involved a teacher who singled me out for no reason(this was before the other kids deliberately trying to get me in trouble). Then there was just the general ostracism and feeling like I had to constantly watch my back to try and avoid as much bullying as I could was anything but enjoyable. Through middle school and highschool the bullying gradually decreased except for a few incidents but the ostracism and alienation remained. I spent my entire childhood feeling threatened, worried and like any wrong move would cause a catastrophe and it would be my fault.
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We won't go back.
I think reading all these posts make me feel that i got off a little lighter than some people...even though i was shocked by a cattle prod ...threatened with a knife..head shoved down the toilet..kicked and punched...spat and swore at on a daily basis..had to change schools twice because of bullies....but you know what....what goes around comes around one day!
Verbal abuse.
But I was misdiagnosed as having all sorts of weird mental stuff going on that no one could quite agree on, but borderline personality and anxiety disorders were raised as potential illnesses, and ended up in a therapeutic community/psychiatric hospital.
The bullying I got there from other adult patients was worse than anything I got back at school. At least at school you just got called "weird" or "freak." There is nothing worse than being told you're pathetic, selfish, immature and childish multiple times every day by people who are mostly busy wallowing in pits of their own despair.
A girl in one of my classes in high school always called me the name of a vegetable when I entered the classroom. All the other kids would laugh. I never defended myself, I just sat at my desk and tried to figure out what was so funny. It really bothered me that I could never figure out what was so funny about it.
Actually, I did not know I was bullied untill I became an adult! I could not identify myself with the typical bully dramatisations on tv, hence I thought what I went through was normal.
A typical day would include coarse verbal abuse, sudden drop kicks from behind, people making fun of my behaviour and of course obscene gestures and people making fun of me.
More rarely would I be beat up or threaten to be beat up at certain hours of the day or if I showed my face near a specified area.
I had only 1-2 friends, so someone took the time tagging my name together with my friends name and added "in love" all over my neighborhood when I was around 12 years old. My mom was deeply embarrased by this and I had to go out with a bucket of water and soap and try to brush it off. I used hours trying to remove it, but failed. Of course because I was different, I did not get a girlfriend untill I was 20. Meanwhile all my neighbors thought I was gay. This was truly a bad thing to be in the 70's.
I think this was perhaps the worst thing someone did to me.
I could probably come up with more stuff, but I think I'll supress the rest of my memories, because I get really sad thinking of my childhood years realizing how bad things really was.
whirlingmind
Veteran
Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,130
Location: 3rd rock from the sun
Well I thought all the bullying I had at school was bad enough, then the workplace bullying making me leave through stress.
And then 2.3 years ago, I was attacked from behind by another (unknown) parent for no known reason, in the primary school playground whilst collecting my children.
Luckily she was convicted in court, but didn't get a strong enough punishment. All this time later I am still dealing with her giving me such a bad whiplash-like injury from snapping my head back and repeatedly punching me in the face and head, that the bones in my neck are still displaced. I can't afford to continue chiropractic treatment that I need. The bottom curve of my neck has been lost, which has an impact on my whole muscular-skeletal balance and can cause headaches and other pains. She pulled out my hair which continued to come out for days afterwards and gave me a nosebleed and huge bruises on my arms in the shape of knuckle imprints. This is not to mention the PTSD I am still suffering.
What did I do to deserve this? I have no idea. I had never spoken to her or even been aware of her before. All I know is that I didn't mix with the other parents, always stood separately and didn't talk to anyone else, whereas they were all standing in groups making small talk and gossiping. So apparently being different made me a target, I have no other explanation.
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*Truth fears no trial*
DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum
Mummy_of_Peanut
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Joined: 20 Feb 2011
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,564
Location: Bonnie Scotland
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"We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiatic about." Charles Kingsley
Thrown basketballs at me during PE in elementary school when I was having a meltdown. The coach didn't do anything about it. He just watched. My only friend there stood in front of me and told them to stop, and they did. I was also spit on quite a few times.
When going on a school trip to Jekyll Island where we stayed for a few nights, this one kid was threatening to flush my stuff down the toilet, and throwing sand at me when on the beach.
whirlingmind
Veteran
Joined: 25 Oct 2007
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,130
Location: 3rd rock from the sun
I never found out, luckily she pleaded guilty so I didn't have to attend to give evidence, I was traumatised enough without that too. However, whilst it's not always wise to make sweeping statements about people, she was a single parent on benefits, dressed like Waynetta Slob (the Harry Enfield character played by Kathy Burke). She was a yob basically. People like that probably don't need a reason. But it showed me that nothing has changed since school, as I was attacked from behind by two different people then too as well as other bullying, again I didn't do anything to anyone else and had done nothing to deserve it. Bullies are cowards. Because I'm quiet, reserved, stay separate from other people a lot, that was probably enough to single me out. My step mother told me that the people that bullied me at school were jealous because I was pretty. I was also attacked by two people clearly on drugs at a bus stop whilst I quietly waited for a bus as a younger adult. I must have victim plastered on my forehead or something. I take care of my appearance when I go out, (although I slob around at home), wear decent clothes and jewellery. She was that type that is pasty and pudgy with flab hanging over her tracksuit, greasy hair scraped back who looked like she was off the worst council estate ever. So maybe she was jealous in some way. Forgive me if I sound bitter but she traumatised my children too, who's hands I was holding when she attacked me, and they will never forget it. Just as I will never forget the screams of my eldest whilst Waynetta continuously punched me, until my last breath. My already difficult existence was made even worse because it just confirmed what people are like, that you can't trust anyone, you can't predict what people will do, there is unfathomable violence out there and my paranoia about people is entirely justified.
_________________
*Truth fears no trial*
DX AS & both daughters on the autistic spectrum
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