It's confirmed: I must get undiagnosed: how?

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I am assuming you want to solve your social/psychological problems no matter what the cause because then things would be bette for you.. Is this correct? The problem with labels is that labeling can be used as a form of escape from facing reality. I know all about this from personal experience, as do many here, I am sure. .Framing is a little different. The right kind of framework can function as a doorway into a world where things have the possibility of becoming more ordered in a way which is generative.

This does NOT imply giving up naming. That is also a facet, but there is a way to consciously use it. For instance if I see directly that I have a problem, completely see i without separating 'myself' from the problem., that is different from thinking to myself that I have a problem because my brain is a certain way. Even though this way is part of the causal chain, maybe the way I am behaving (and thinking about it) is reinforcing the way my brain is,so a feedback loop, one of the unconscious motives of which is to not solve the problem. So naming is still there, but it functions in concordance with direct seeing, not an avoidance of it.

Re the therapist you have now, she may just not be a good therapist, but there are other explanations for her diagnosis. By the way, did she send you here or did you find this site yourself?

I think these labels are frameworks: a way to make sense of otherwise confusing symptoms. I want to know why I do and think certain things of which I may have a vague understanding or memory.

Example: why is it that, with one exception, the longer I'm in a place or around a person, the more I get tired of the place or person. In the case of the place, I hate it. I really hate Austin now. I don't know why I always hate my surroundings after a time. I'm discontent with everything, and nothing is ever enough. This goes for girlfriends and sex also.

Would Newson Syndrome or Pathological Demand Avoidance Autism look like NPD or BPD in an adult but still have autistic features?

Well, I am interested in brain function--do not know if that is quite the same what you mean by neurological aspects--and also passionately interested in sociology and how the organization of one social system can perhaps affect the organization of other social systems in that we are all kind of generically interconnected (the giant living brain metaphor).
My thoughts on therapy---it is overly subjective, and the process is very iffy and from a financial perspective it can be very corrupt, but in terms of psychological theory I do not believe in throwing the baby (the possible truth of certain ideas at the core) out with the bathwater.

The thing is if there are all of these various syndromes mixed in with autism, how is a person going to solve his problem by looking at it in this way? It is too complex. If I am having bi-polar activity and going up and down, there is something I may need to know that could be very helpful. If I can see and understand what it happening this may affect my behavior, and maybe also there is something I could do that would change it, but I do not need to sort autism and bi-polar and BPD and DID etc. etc. out of this and that, though some way of framing might be more helpful than others to look at metaphorically. One problem but also a possible benefit of looking at things a certain way is that it can affect the thinking about it. A person in this discussion (forget who) has on his or her app something to the effect of---if you think there is something wrong with you, then there is, and this does make a lot of sense,s seeing the glass as half empty is a whole lot different fhan seeing it as half full, but yet as a slogan that seems to somehow be skirting around something because actually in reality there often is something wrong with someone, for instance is a person is self centered to the degree that he or she cannot love, or if a person is passive aggressive and causing pain and suffering every which way he turns, and not really speaking of Tyrion. I have been this way myself, and it didn't even occur to me there was anything wrong with me in these regards.

To Tyrion, I can definitely see why you would want to go to a therapist, especially if your insurance covers it, and maybe gain some insight if you are lucky enough to get a pretty good one, but that is very hit and miss---sometimes it can even be quite harmful to go to a therapist, and who would know till afterwards---or if not overtly harmful then like going sideways or just treading water--I know for a fact that a lot of these therapists are out and out ignorant and some, perhaps even a larger percentage than the average population, have serious unresolved psychological issues themselves, which is why they became therapisst in the first place, to covertly try to get some help.

Re bi-polar, I have read over what you wrote and think you should look at this again. as there may be some kind of correlation there. Will write some more later maybe and give an interesting theory I read about bi-polar. In short the idea is that the bi-polar person cannot bear the unbearable agony of waiting for things to crash, to be disappointed, so he crashes himself. This does sound from what you have shared here that in some way it could be applied to your own experience with the build-ups and the letdowns.

Anyway, I have never liked the genetic theory of bi-polar disorder. It has always seemed somehow off to me. Yes, there is a genetic propensity, agreed, but what does that really mean?
What are the implications of it,. that a person's brain is working wrong and so it is necessary to give some chemical which is even akin in some way to poison to fix it? Maybe this is over simplifying, but I am just giving a general idea.

I always thought so, have a google. The superficial social skills and manipulation would fit.

Fascinating. I tried googling it. I could not find any information on what this would look like in an adult. But it's quite intriguing. Too bad it's not recognized in my country, hence, the PDD-NOS, perhaps.

It would explain why there are some autistic symptoms but the dominant symptoms causing problems seem more like BPD/NPD -- as well as the superficial social behavior and identity issues. I was also the oldest child of 9 kids, and I was often asked, "you must have a lot of responsibility." Actually, no...I avoided responsibility letting my younger sister become the de facto oldest. I used to scream for hours when my mother expected me to dress myself or pick up a few toys, or even told me to find a toy in a messy pile.

I have been explaining my demand-avoidance as a child in terms of NLD. And compulsive/excessive role-playing in terms of Asperger's.

HOWEVER, if demand-avoidance is at the core of PDA, then can these children ever grow up to be independent since 18, as I have?

Fascinating. I tried googling it. I could not find any information on what this would look like in an adult. But it's quite intriguing. Too bad it's not recognized in my country, hence, the PDD-NOS, perhaps.

It would explain why there are some autistic symptoms but the dominant symptoms causing problems seem more like BPD/NPD -- as well as the superficial social behavior and identity issues. I was also the oldest child of 9 kids, and I was often asked, "you must have a lot of responsibility." Actually, no...I avoided responsibility letting my younger sister become the de facto oldest. I used to scream for hours when my mother expected me to dress myself or pick up a few toys, or even told me to find a toy in a messy pile.

I have been explaining my demand-avoidance as a child in terms of NLD. And compulsive/excessive role-playing in terms of Asperger's.

HOWEVER, if demand-avoidance is at the core of PDA, then can these children ever grow up to be independent since 18, as I have?

Interesting. I just googled it to out of curiosity, as I've been following your thread. It does seem to fit you really well! I thought it might fit me too as I have some demand avoidance problem but I didn't have language delay or miss milestones due to passivity and didn't
have good surface sociability as a kid. Anyway, I remember also reading on this site, in another thread that Newson syndrome kids do things just to get a reaction out of people, little social experiments. That seems to fit you too because I remember you saying sometimes you'll act ultra-liberal or ultra-conservative and say things just to see how people will react-get a reaction. Maybe if the person with this disorder was high functioning enough, had high intelligence and good language skills (which are supposed to correlate with good outcome in ASD) they could become independent like you have.