Autism Is Not An Excuse To Do Nothing

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I was not diagnosed at an early age, with anything....got diagnosed with depression and anxiety at the age of 15, did not get an official aspergers diagnoses till a couple years ago, and yet I still have difficulties with learned helplessness because i was still stuck in a negative environment with teachers and kids who didn't like me due to my being 'weird' and figured that made lots of bullying and ostracism and being singled out ok. I did not have the option to just not go to school, be home-schooled or anything so yeah I developed with my brain learning I have to just endure that crap with no help and no escape so yeah...even now that i am not stuck enduring public school it still has caused some lasting issues...I imagine sometimes there are solutions/opportunities that I don't see or think I am capable of, but its not like I like having that issue just goes along with the depression or at least seems to be a major contributing factor. So not sure why people think getting early diagnoses causes that and later diagnoses/not knowing one is on the spectrum magically causes a more positive mindset.

But how can that be judged over the internet...I have had ignorant people say 'if you can use the internet you can obviously hold a job and don't need SSI' So I just do not think it is a good idea to assume one can judge these things over the internet so that is my main concern with these sorts of posts...seems people forget that detail and much of the time it turns into a judgement fest, though this thread seems fairly civil so far compared to others I've seen on simular topics.

Hmm how one equates typing opinions about an article and discussing the subject matter on a forum..with frothing at the mouth I don't really get...but whatever.

And how do you determine if you have encountered one of these particular self diagnosed autistics...

There are a number of them on these very forums who don't do much of anything but indulge in their special interest hobby/past time(s) - the sorts of activities that NT's tend to reserve for leisure time here and there once their work, studies, other obligations etc have been completed. I'd call it a trend even w/ the number of people on these forums who describe their lives as fitting the blog poster's description.

Aside: Those people aren't bullying you in the present moment. Stop living in the past & move on. You'll feel better for it.

I'm not sure what isn't crystal clear about this from 10 pages of discussion already... but w/ an early diagnosis, there's the potential that people use it as an excuse to not try and do things because "oh, I have Autism, so I can't do this or that," using ASD as a BS reason not to bother trying something in the first place. On the flip side, not knowing one's diagnosis (or until much later) never gives someone the ability to "play the ASD card" & excuse themselves from trying because they don't have limiting beliefs of themselves based on an ASD diagnosis. They just keep trying, sometimes failing & having difficulties/frustrations caused by the ASD they're not self aware of, but they're more likely to persist because there is no "this is too hard for me because I have ASD so I'm either going to not even try or quit as soon as it gets hard."

There often isn't even a judgement call to make. I can't even count how many times I've read "I give up," or "I quit," or "Why bother even trying?" or something similar on these very forums. Some people are very clear about the fact that they won't even try because "ASD; woe is me."

I think that it is too simplistic to view other peoples actions/inaction's as excuses; it is dismissive of context.

I learned to ignore the signals of discomfort and push through barriers, I learned to not trust the warning signals, and my health has experienced the negative repercussions. Is it possible that some people are simply self aware and listening to the warning signals? Have they had bad experiences reinforce the need to minimize certain types of stress for example. Does this self awareness act as a protective mechanism? Should this discussion be about finding a life balance and not about black or white 'blame or excuses'?

I am aware people here have said that, I've even made posts like that when I'm really feeling crappy...yet i still do things, still try things. So I still would say its best not to assume someone doesn't ever try to do anything and does nothing over a post like that....Sometimes people do feel like things are pointless even life its-self I get to feeling like that so I certainly understand that, so not sure how such statements would imply someone has never tried to do anything, and never will because they have aspergers.

Yeah and people could have valid reasons for that....that is what I don't like about the article or when people think they know a whole persons life based on some posts on a forum, the author acts like she gets to decide what lifestyle is full-filling for everyone and judge anyone who differs from that as 'doing nothing' and deciding for them if what they do can possibly give them a full-filling life. And imagine that people with aspergers spending a disproportionate amount of time on a special interest vs. other things....is that abnormal in the aspergers community now?

Did I say anyone is bullying me now? Its not like I enjoy being haunted by those memories....or how it screwed with my developing mind to help contribute to all the mental problems I have. If it was as simple as just stopping living in the past I would have done that already...but that is not how the mind and memories work. And quite frankly comments like that don't help....I am going to therapy for PTSD and going to delve into some of those other things as well, to try and gain more closure and move on better...reprocess things, even my therapist admits this is unlikely to make it all go away or cure me of PTSD but it should help with processing some of the more difficult crap...so I can better move past some of it.

So I'll see where that gets me, but I do not think you know much about PTSD the whole basis of the disorder is your brain being stuck in the past...you might as well have told me to stop having PTSD, and i ought to go tell someone in a wheelchair to stop lazing around and get up and walk.

But that aside on a daily basis I do my best to live my life not like I sit there and think about the past all the time, hell it is a lot of negativity if anything I try to avoid thinking about it...which in turn sometimes causes worsening symptoms because you can't bury the past without a cost apparently.

Also if your assumptions of being diagnosed early vs late are correct how do you explain successful people with more early diagnosed autism who just keep trying in spite of the aspergers, and also what about those who don't recieve an early diagnoses and still remain unable to hold a job or accomplish other things. Also Aspergers/autism is a condition so its not unreasonable to think it can cause limitations...so while 'I have autism' is not a reason to just never try something to begin with, it certainly does cause limitations and sometimes someone really can't do something because of their 'autism'. As I said I had no early diagnoses so no understanding for my oddities, and in trying to just keep trying and thinking I was 'normal' and just a crappy person and that is why certain things where so difficult for me....I developed quite low self esteem. I think in my case knowing sooner could have been beneficial because maybe I would have approached life after highschool in a way that would have been better fit for me with that knowledge instead of enduring that college ordeal. Not sure why you are so up in arms about the idea autism/aspergers could ever actually cause real limitations for a person....and that such a person might recognize autism as being the reason for a limitation.

This is spot on. Too many times I didn't know my own limits, pushed myself too far and really suffered the consequences. Over time it leads to burnout, depression, illness, injury, or just plain physical exhaustion.

I sure never wanted to do "nothing" with my life, I always had big dreams, wanted to do lots and lots of things, and didn't see any reason why not. It just felt like I hit one brick wall after another, until I finally knocked myself out.

Setting limits to take care of yourself shouldn't ever be seen as making an excuse.

I agree. I dislike it when people make sweeping judgments about a person's life, based on a few posts, or seeing maybe ONE thing that they do, and then try to apply their own values to that.

Exactly.

Very well said. I wholeheartedly agree. Especially the part about learned helplessness.

Yeah finding the right balance is most important.....and it varies depending on the individual, the balance that works for one may not work for others. As for excuses much of the time seems like people apply that term to actual reasons...if they don't like the reason or find it irritating, not because its actually an excuse rather than a reason.