Why Are Aspies Suspicious Everyone Is Lying About Autism?

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My Autism is a mixture of impairments and strengths. A lot of my difficulties come from bieng a small minority especially since I am "different" in the area people care about most, Social presentation. There are actual traits that would impair me any time, anyplace.

You make some excellent points, and I can see where you're coming from about false expectations (ASD = savant), as well as bitterness about lost opportunities in life. I know I missed out on a lot, especially throughout childhood and into adolescence (and beyond).

While I try to emphasize some of the positive aspects of autism (our ability to stay focused on tasks or important causes, not being readily distracted about things that NT people obsess about, etc), the harsh reality is that autism makes life hard in innumerable ways. We're not all geniuses, we're not all quirky Sheldons; most of us are otherwise normal people who, at best, have difficulty relating to the rest of the world. Many of us have additional challenges and comorbidities that add to the burden.

I've had to depend on a lot of people pulling up my "bootstraps" for me over the years. I've adapted and grown to be more capable over a lifetime, but it's important that we not sugarcoat real struggles. I hope I don't ever come across as someone who does that.

It's inspirational to me and one of the few reasons I haven't given up hope and committed suicide yet. To each his own I guess.

That's a leap in logic. You're inferring that from simply people only pointing out the complex nature of late-life diagnosis in order to defend themselves from the phenomenon of accusations of bandwagon jumping?

Look, here's the thing.

1) There are people who are younger and thus get to be diagnosed before the difficulties cause much more weirdness in their lives -- not saying they don't have to suffer, just saying late diagnosed people can go through a lot before ever getting help or a diagnosis in the first place.

2) There are people on WP who every once in while bring up the whole topic of "I'm suspicious of all you people who suddenly think you're an Aspie."

Adam, you yourself noticed this enough to create this very thread asking why those people do that.

3) Some of us have tried to explain what they think is happening with that. Some of the "accusers" seem to think everyone "wants to be an aspie" these days because it's "trendy," a fad, an excuse, to be like Sheldon Cooper, to feel superior.

4) Some of us who describe feeling neither proud nor ashamed of finding out we are on the spectrum, are merely trying to point out that the above shallow reasons have played no part for us.

5) In order to emphasize that, I for one have tried to make sure it's known that rather than the shallow glee I'm accused of, it wasn't glee for me but a solemn process of discovery and a great deal of difficulty with that process.

I put that out there to TRY to illustrate to the "accusers" that they need to STFU and stop accusing me of jumping on some damn bandwagon, because it wasn't like that for me.

That's not "not liking myself." That's just acknowledging that some of our journeys with this have been very disrupting ones, difficult to come to terms with.

It's very tough to struggle through life to a considerable age relatively, knowing there's something odd going on, but always to believe it will all go away some day and you will be exactly like "normal people." And then to discover very late in the game that that's never really going to happen.

Again that's not about disliking oneself. That's about being dismayed at having to re-frame EVERYTHING.

I'm also NOT SAYING that improvement can't be made.

I've improved enormously -- you have no freaking IDEA how far I've come.

There are things my own family believed I would NEVER be able to do or achieve, that I bloody well forced myself to achieve. And with NO help. I wish I'd had help. I could have freakin' used some. I think I could have done even better with some. But I did what I could. I like myself quite a bit.

You're inferring a lot of BS from people just admitting THIS IS NO PICNIC.

I really respect the way you are open about your feelings, telling it like it is, instead of creating some giant theory on why everybody else is wrong.

I find that people on WP can be incredibly different....sometimes more so than regular people. Autism or not, extreme people flock to this site. I had a million "me too" moments on this site, yet I know I am mild if it is indeed autism I have. But I started seeing that things are not so set in stone. I feel that in a way it is a boon that an autism diagnosis is such a vague thing. It has forced me to look at myself in a realistic way rather than assume that everything applies to me. And I hate the thought that someone could slap a diagnosis on me and say "now you can't do this, this and this".

What is it that you miss the most in your life? Did you get a rubbish education? Or minimal opportunities to practice social skills?

The retrodiagnosis stuff doesn't bother me at all, but that is perhaps because I've had some academic success....and failures too. But at some point in my life, the smart people were the only ones to accept me, and I really appreciate the kindness, openness and sense of humor of some very intelligent people (not all clever people are like that, of course). I sort of feel a closeness across the ages with some of these people. And, quite frankly, there is no record of the people who never achieved anything remarkable. That goes for NTs too.

I remember reading a collection of Virginia Woolf's essays and being struck by how understandable and relatable it all was - much the same as I felt when arriving on this site. Try reading "Thoughts on Peace in an Air Raid",

https://newrepublic.com/article/113653/ ... e-air-raid

It really brings the past alive, and reminds us that there was a time when people thought differently about things. And if autistics then could be something different, our lives are not woven by the Norns.

As somebody who originally self-diagnosed as a middle aged adult I subsequently retracted my self-diagnosis as it made no real sense to give myself a silly label. I blend in quite easily in the NT world but I know I'm different. I just accept I'm an army of one...neither fish nor fowl (as I suspect many of us are anyway)

Army of one....that's a perfect expression. That's how I feel as well.

Great movie scene. And instructive.

Its very seldom that I even meet anyone else on the spectrum enough to suspect anything. If they are or aren't why would they lie about it??? Secondly if someone actually did have it generally people don't like to admit to that so I don't think they would be lying on those grounds considering. Also if you're suspicious of another person's diagnosis then all you have to do is closely observe them and see whether or not they exhibit certain "autistic traits".

All I can say is for those people to spend a little time with someone who is autistic like me. After probably 10 minutes, there'd be no doubt. I think that can be said for most of us here.

Normal people with average IQ's can eat my whole ass.

You just won the whole topic dood xxxxxxxxDDDDDDDDDD

Anyway I just recalled a few months ago where I met a few other autistics at an event. They are ... definitely on the spectrum and I was able to tell that after a minute of conversation, observation and close analysis.

I started the whole topic! *fist in the air*

Some things are cause uncertainty in my mind:

*people who say they have been diagnosed and exaggerate every autistic trait to the very extreme in very unrealistic combinations (this reminds me of people with munchausens who have been exposed as making everything up on forums or blogs)

*self-diagnosis, especially those who are vocal about their personal experience of autism

*people or family members who make extraordinary claims about autistic people using facilitated communication or some other fake communication method to reveal whatever wishes of others that were unrealized by the autistic people and using autistic people to say their own opinions about autism from a position of being autistic

In most individual cases, I have no reason to doubt people who say they have been diagnosed with autism, only the extreme cases stand out as cause for doubt.

A lot of people on this board are probably so much more functional than they realize, I know a 16 year old kid named Lewie with Asperger's whom when others get near him he spits at them and tries to bite them. I bet you all have better social skills than that.

Well as it's been said before, it's a spectrum and there are differing levels of functioning, ability or disability, skill sets. This 16 year old boy you mention may even be able in the future to somewhat grow out of his spitting and biting -- or he may not. A lot of people posting here have "come a long way" and used to be less functional than they are in life now. Temple Grandin herself used to be a lot less functional - if I recall correctly she was non-verbal as a child.